Sunday, April 25, 2021

Is Realization Necessary

In my pursuit of enlightenment I came to a paradox. I realized that I didn't need to feel enlightened because whether I felt realized or not, I was unavoidably That. This is a paradox because I felt a need, a driving force, to understand enlightenment. And yet I had the counter intuitive thought that it wasn't necessary because I was That. I was what I was looking for! 

This seems to point to the fact that some part of me knew I was That, while another part was in denial. Perhaps we all know deep inside that we are in essence That which is existence. It is our mind that wants assurance. The realization seems to be when the mind comes into agreement with the intuition. That is, when we know that we know. 

Your Life Has Beautiful Meaning

Whenever my life felt meaningless there was always a disgust at that feeling. Why would that be? It seems that the natural revulsion we experience is due to the meaningless being untrue. Our deepest nature is telling us that we are seeing something wrong. If there is a "natural" state, it is not meaninglessness. 

I do not always experience beauty. But I got an insight into this after an ecstatic mystical experience. I could not stay in the ecstasy because there was no "me" there. As the ecstasy faded, I got a direct input of truth. An inner perception gave me this pronouncement. "You are always surrounded by absolute beauty, always have been, and always will be, whether you are aware of it or not." 

That notification was a direct message about the truth of existence. It is Absolute beauty whether we recognize it or not. When I see beauty I am grateful. When I don't see beauty, I know it is still there. 

Saturday, April 10, 2021

The Inner Door

The door to our spirit, to our eternal life is not out there. Out there we will only find pointers. And out there, the pointers are few and far between. The door is inside, where we don't look. It is like the back door we never use. We even forget that it is there. 

There is only one thing we can't deny; it is that we exist, that we are aware. This awareness is the "I am" that was given to Moses, and the "I am" that Jesus spoke of. He said, "I am is the way the truth and the life." He was referring to the "I am" of each of us. The one eye that looks from all creatures. Not Jesus the man. 

The back door is where we finally have to look. It is the inside door. We must have great confidence to open the inner door. Without that confidence, we must be brought to our knees in suffering to finally open it. 

The inner door must be opened for the true light to get in. The world's light is but a dim reflection. We spend our life looking under the lamppost when the sun is just beyond the inner door. Let us be confident and open that inner 'back door' before we suffer too much. Peace.  

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Deeper Truth

When you hold on to a basic idea that is wrong, that does not conform to reality, then denial of other aspects of reality must occur to protect the original belief. One then becomes further removed from reality and conflicts and arise which cause anxiety.

Basic assumptions must be examined periodically as a way to eliminate the confusion and anxiety that arise when a basic assumption is wrong.

On what basic idea or assumption does your security rest? Is it correct? Is it valid? It is certainly a good question to ask, especially since much of what we believe are unexamined assumptions passed down to us from our parents and culture.

Yes, it is hard to do this. It may engender insecurity for a time, since your current psychological security rests on them. But it is worth the effort.

Alan Watts made the great pronouncement of "The wisdom of insecurity." If you take on the basic insecurity that rests at the bottom of your psyche, you may just find deeper ground from which to bring fresh fruit.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Grace With Loss

You know you have found grace when a great loss occurs and you can say, "God, I'm okay with that." When you can accept that loss without resentment you have somehow transcended this mortal realm. 

First There Is Seeking

First there is seeking and with that the dark night which can last days or years. But, at some point the seeking stops. Why? Because when trust sets in the way becomes effortless. It doesn't mean that further progress does not occur, but that it comes as a flow you go with. No struggle. No resistance.

Sunday, December 20, 2020

The Teacher

The teacher should treat you like a friend. That's key. A true teacher knows that any student is 100% the Self, just as he or she is. There can be no superiority in that. The friend simply has knowledge the other doesn't have. That knowledge correctly shared does not come with superiority or requests for servitude. The teacher only has the authority of knowledge and understanding. He or she is due respect for that, but nothing else.

Saturday, November 28, 2020

The End of Seeking

You have to take a journey because you are seeking. I did many years of searching and seeking truth. Enjoyed every minute of it. Difficulties were gateways. As Cohen said, "The crack is what lets the light in."

The end of seeking happened. I was what I was seeking. If I hadn't been a seeker I would never have come to know that. Peace comes when you know that you know, and you know what you don't know doesn't matter.

Sunday, November 1, 2020

The Subjective I

The subjective "I" seems universal to me. I have it, my wife has it, my dog has it. Donkeys have it. So, can this Maury expression claim "awareness" is just mine? In a sense, yes, because the expression is unique in its particulars. 

On the other hand, I sense the subjective awareness in others, unique, yes, but the same basic subjective sense of "I". For me, seeing that this sense appears universal, and I just arrived here with it, something else is responsible for it. I'm just living out this particular instance. Whatever is the origin and what to call it is another matter. 

I seem to have lost my sense of doership. It's a bit scary. There's much to be acknowledged as "unknown." But that's okay. It's seems rather peaceful to be done with having to perfect an ego. Not that I don't have a personal sense of "I", but it just seems rather insignificant. I just enjoy what is when I can, and suffer the slings and arrows when I can't.

Monday, October 19, 2020

Deep Relaxation

 We don't have to search for some big experience to prove to ourselves that we arrived somewhere. Coming to see our true nature may happen over time. The realization that "I know I know" just might be a simple "Aha moment." A deep relaxation may be your big realization.

The Absolute and Its Function

Awareness is the function of the Absolute. As objects are known they become conscious objects to awareness. Beingness is the felt presence of awareness experienced as I Amness.

Friday, October 16, 2020

Religion vs Spirituality

You ask, what is the difference between spirituality and religion? The difference is, spirituality can take from any religion, from all, or none. Religion is a particular package of beliefs. 

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Liberation Is A Dead End

For me, time is simply the recognition of change. Change happens. Measuring it is time. We measure time as in the sun rising and setting. We put that change on a watch and call it twenty-four hours. We only know the time has changed because the hand moves.
To me enlightenment is not being in a state of bliss or happiness. There is no need to chase bliss. Being here is okay. It's enough. The character is still here, but something is watching it. And the character knows it is that awareness, and not the character. Liberation is like a dead end. It doesn't need to go anywhere. 

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Doing the Absolute

Once I realized "I am That;" in essence The Absolute, I realized that my life was full of meaning, whether I understood it or not. It is doing what it is doing, and I am part of that doing. So, I can just live my life relaxed in a known unknown.

Friday, August 14, 2020

Truth and Theology

We have truth, and then we have theology. Big difference. A theology can point to truth or not. Most of it is bullshit. I come from a long line of Christian ministers, theologians and seminary presidents. I know the prejudices of theology. 

I have nothing against the intellect. It is a useful tool. But when theology is based on false assumptions, all the intellectual endeavor after that failure is nonsense. That is why the mystics say "We have to become as children."It seems to me that the intellect has to confirm the heart, or intuition, not try to get the heart to conform to the intellect. This is why most theology goes off track, becomes useless and dry. The mystics of all religions kick off the dregs of tradition and get to the heart of it. Most theologians are trying to fit the heart into a system they've adopted. Therefore most of it is not helpful.

You can feel the overly intellectual and convoluted justifications in most theology. Compare theology to Meister Eckhart, J. Krishnamurti, or Christ. They spoke simply. There is more subtlety in their simple words than theology's convoluted complexity.

It is fruitless to try and explain the mystic sensibility to academy. They are two different worlds. You will be frustrated your whole life trying to make headway in their world. They will never understand the mystic.

What is the place of the heart and intuition in relationship to the intellect? I gave up on graduate school in the education department because of the intellectualism. Kids will get educated if they are loved, not because of the correct educational theory. Same difference when it comes to truth and religion, truth and theology.

"Truth is something so noble that if God could turn aside from it, I could keep the truth and let God go."  ~ Meister Eckhart: A Modern Translation (1941) by Raymond Bernard Blakney, p. 240

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

I Is Presence

There is one ultimate "I", the subject. That I-ness is borrowed by every form of life from the microbe to the human being. The sense of presence is the "I". Whatever form or identity you take, that "I" is always the same, though it is filtered through the form it embodies.

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Arriving Unannounced

My "being created" is just the simple fact that I didn't create this body or mind. It is obviously the product of some creative process that this human being had nothing to do with. I arrived here unannounced even to myself. Had to discover what the hell was going on.

Obviously, from the body perspective, it's a setup. Experiences happen a certain way because of how the form is made. When I look honestly at my humanness, not of my making, I can't even find free will. Sure, I feel like I make choices, but I don't see freedom in them.

The only freedom I have is that I also know that the essence of who I am has to be that which created me. Like the Bible says, we are created in the image of God. Yep. We are that. And if we take that on, we are totally fee. And then, beyond that, there is nothing to oppose The Absolute, so where is there bondage or freedom. It's just this, as it is, without anything to judge.

The Void

Someone asked me how my experience compared to Bernadette Roberts experience. This was regarding her book "The Experience of No Self. 
Below is my answer.


I didn't read Bernadette Roberts till about 10 years ago, so I had already gone through hell years before. I lost all my so-called Christian beliefs suddenly when I went to college. It was hell because every reference point and meaning left overnight. It's hell because the void has no reference point and therefore no way out. This makes it feel eternal. I've heard the void described as blissful, but that was not my experience. 

The only thing I had was common sense, which told me that what I was feeling could not be the final answer, as no one would want to live like this, suicide would be the best answer, and if this was correct, the human race would extinguish itself. So I went about trying to make a life worth living. Not easy with no reference point. It took a long time. 

Since I could not live in a meaningless void I went looking for meaning. It took many years. Atheist for years, then agnostic, and then to a spiritual understanding of God. God had to be there because I was a created being. It just had to be a new God, a different God, or we could say, a new understanding. 

Roberts did the same thing. I was a little disappointed with her because in the end, she clung to some of her classic Christian tradition, such as the Trinity. In the end she couldn't let go of everything, even if it was only an empty shell. 

I totally agree with her that if you are feeling a sense of unity, then there must be a separation that feels unified. There is a step beyond that. There can't be any separation when "You are That." You know you are in essence That, while at the same time expressing That as the relative human appearance. It gives you the freedom to be the person you are, warts and all. 

Being a human is God's problem, not yours. On the other hand, knowing the essence of yourself as That, what harm would you want to do? 

Sunday, July 26, 2020

Where Do Principles Come From?

Some still claim that consciousness arises from the brain. If that's the case, where do the principles of mathematics lie? Are those principles created by the brain, or are they discoveries that some of us discern? For thousands of years these principles were not known, or little known. 

Does quantum physics come out of our brain from a new combination of neurons? Or does it seem more logical that the principles of mathematics and quantum physics have always existed? These types of principles seem to be behind the principles of matter and determine how physics operates. It defies logic to believe they came out of matter, or came out of a brain, millions of years after the big bang. 

It makes sense that these principles existed prior to matter, and that they underlay matter, and are the principles that determine how matter operates, and how the neurons of a brain operate. 

What exists first, the principle of music, or the creator of music. Does the composer create the principles of music, or does he come to know them, understand them, and then create with them? 

The consideration of these examples, surely points to the fact that these principles existed prior to matter, prior to neurons and brains. Only consciousness perceives these principles, and it is obvious that these principles were prior to the creation which makes use of them. 

How long will it take for science to let go of the prejudice that neurons create consciousness? Brains and neurons are more like radio receivers that filter out static and tune in to consciousness. Better radios get better signals, and subtler brains grasp deeper concepts. But everything the brain discovers comes from somewhere else, beyond matter, beyond time and space. 

The Absolute and its principles are prior to anything our brains discover. The whole universe is nothing but an appearance in awareness, the function of the Absolute experiencing itself. 

Sunday, July 12, 2020


Time is the measurement of change. Without change, time would not exist. 

If there is a time of the year when you have no schedule and one day seems like the last, time seems to slow, or as we say, drag. The only measurement may be that the sun went up and came down, or that there was a change in the weather. 

When the sages say that the Absolute is changeless, they are pointing out that the Absolute is outside of time. This is why the identity shift of a realized person gives them the knowledge that they are eternal. This is why they can say, "I was never born, and therefore cannot die." They become the measure, not the measured. 

All form changes, be it matter, thoughts or feelings. Awareness sees the changes because itSelf is changeless. 

To know oneself as awareness is be outside of time, to be deathless, to be the observer, the subject of all that is.