You have to take a journey because you are seeking. I did many years of searching and seeking truth. Enjoyed every minute of it. Difficulties were gateways. As Cohen said, "The crack is what lets the light in."
The end of seeking happened. I was what I was seeking. If I hadn't been a seeker I would never have come to know that. Peace comes when you know that you know, and you know what you don't know doesn't matter.
The subjective "I" seems universal to me. I have it, my wife has it, my dog has it. Donkeys have it. So, can this Maury expression claim "awareness" is just mine? In a sense, yes, because the expression is unique in its particulars.
On the other hand, I sense the subjective awareness in others, unique, yes, but the same basic subjective sense of "I". For me, seeing that this sense appears universal, and I just arrived here with it, something else is responsible for it. I'm just living out this particular instance. Whatever is the origin and what to call it is another matter.
I seem to have lost my sense of doership. It's a bit scary. There's much to be acknowledged as "unknown." But that's okay. It's seems rather peaceful to be done with having to perfect an ego. Not that I don't have a personal sense of "I", but it just seems rather insignificant. I just enjoy what is when I can, and suffer the slings and arrows when I can't.
