The Experience of No Self

During several years of therapy my ego defenses lessened. As pieces fell away, my perception of myself had less firm ground. Even the world around me changed as projection stopped. My mind was intrigued by this loss of definition. Openness to not knowing increased, although it took time to acclimate. 

In the openness there seemed to be little of me while at the same time the rest of the world seemed to become me. This is when I came upon the literature of "no self." The most detailed account of this was penned by a former nun, Bernadette Roberts who wrote "The Experience of No Self." 

I did not read that book as, "Oh this is a nice or interesting concept." No, it gave me comfort in that someone else described it and gave it incredible detail. My point is that the experience is real. The concepts and writing about it are simply description. 

When you look at the experience of "no self" it comes to the same conclusion as the Eastern statements that "You are not the doer." One is an intellectual statement. The other is the experience.

Are You The Doer

If the person only knows himself as a body/mind separate from everything else, they feel like a doer. If they realize they are in essence, ultimately, the Absolute, the Creator, Brahman, whatever name you like, then there is only one, so the person can't be the doer.

On the other hand, identifying with Source you are the doer. It depends on where your identity rests. Identifying as Source one is a lot closer to free will. But then again, there is no alternate to the Absolute, so there isn't even the possibility of freedom or bondage. It's beyond that. It's limitless Isness, being and doing all That is.

Awareness Is

Awareness is the field of potential knowing. When something appears in the field, consciousness arises. Meta consciousness is a further refinement of consciousness in that "you know that you know." Awareness is the field in which both consciousness and meta consciousness appear.

You might say that enlightenment is when meta consciousness begins to pay attention to that which allows all experience to be known. That knower is Awareness. Identifying as that awareness pretty much stops the search. 

Trusting

The knowing of God or a higher power, provides a shoulder to lean on. If you don't have that, then you have to take on those responsibilities. Some sensitive people then take on the "I have to save the world," complex. This really is too big a burden. You can't do it. 

But, if you have the knowing of the Absolute, and know that it is in charge, that it created the world as it is, then you can relax. Then you can take God's perspective and know that the world is perfect as it is. 

Yes, there can still be progress. But it goes from perfection to perfection. Life is never less than perfect whether we know why or not. We don't have the whole answer, but we can trust. This trust will give you peace.