My path has been a search for the foundation of the longing for truth. The search never felt like a choice for me, it was imperative. There was a rejection of clinging to any tradition, but any pointer that resonated I paid attention to.
I find the intellect a valuable tool. I find that an honest intellect even enjoys discovering its own limits. And beyond the intellect's knowing, there is a deeper knowing. That knowing is a presence, a peace, an ability to be comfortable with the unknown.
It seems to me that forgetfulness is in the design. To have experience there have to be boundaries, limitation. Thus we have form, and an ego to protect the form. Limitation is baked into our existence so that Source can experience and know Itself. Transcending form, seeing past the veil, is also an experience. The greatest game of hide and seek ever imagined.
I don't see it this way. I like to distinguish between "Awareness" and "Consciousness." Awareness is presence, the field in which all possibilities may appear as objects, feelings, sensations, etc. Consciousness is that which appears in the field of Awareness. That which appears is certainly tangible, felt, seen, and heard.One might also say that if one is conscious of "The Silence," or "Emptiness," they are tangible, an object in awareness.
Being yourself is of great service to nature, for nature evolved to the point of producing you as a unique expression. Expressing what wants to come through you is nature examining what it is to be you.
Effort to make yourself into something others expect you to be will not be fulfilling or make you happy. This does not mean we do not cooperate for the good of all. It means that we should be gentle with our self, accept our self, and forgive our self.
To be fulfilled and be of service, we must let our self be. Pay attention to what intuitively wants to be expressed through you. Let nature express what it wants through you. We may not fully understand what is pushing through us. It may be a powerful push or the still small voice. But one must listen to it and let it be.
The first thing we need to do is accept things as they are. From that peaceful place we can work towards change. To keep our peace we also need to keep in mind that we are not in charge. Non attachment to results leaves us with the process which we can choose to enjoy.
Age has taught me to let go and let God. I don't even have to know much about God and certainly can't define God, but I sure can let go, accept, and trust. There is no other way to obtain peace.
Basically when you know you are not the doer, doing things happens rather naturally. Since consciousness changes one person at a time, little things are essentially giant steps. Since all life is connected, if my mind is at peace, and my happiness is not dependent on others, what I have become is greater than any doing.
To my mind, if anything at all exists, even for a moment, there must be something permanent in which those things appear. I can assure you I do not have a better explanation than this. Not provable. But that's how it is for me.
The one thing you cannot deny is that you exist. To know you exist is to be conscious. All your knowing is because you are conscious. Consciousness is fundamental. The world you see is only in consciousness. Therefore, you and the world are an appearance in fundamental awareness. That universal mind, or awareness is what you really are. As that, you can never die. The body you identified with is just a temporary focal point for experience.
The I of a donkey is filtered through a donkey brain. The I of a tiger if filtered through a tiger brain. The I of a person is filtered through a human brain. The I of each is the same simple awareness, just filtered through a different lens. That universal I is what you are, and not fundamentally separate from all life.
Once I had the understanding that my awareness was the One awareness, it no longer mattered whether or not I was experiencing bliss or oneness. I can embody the understanding and live my life with a background of peace, and not condemn myself for having an ego.
The ego develops to protect the body, and as the ego matures it becomes an entity itself. Soon it also has to protect itself. That self is just the values of the local culture and how one can maintain one's place in it.
Ultimately, the ego is not who we are, just an identity built of constructs, thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, the ego doesn't realize it's just a bunch of concepts. And as those concepts are internalized and habituated, we develop feelings to go with them. Feelings are just automatic value judgments.
Until a person steps back and looks at the constructs and gets to the bottom of automatic judgments, one is essentially a cultural robot. It takes courage to look unflinchingly, but to be free it must be done.
The perception of nothing is perceived by awareness. So, however much the feeling of nothingness is in your perception, you are the awareness of that nothing. Awareness is not a thing. It is the subject, it is you. It is the knower. Ultimately there is only existence. Nothingness is a phase that will most likely pass.
From the absolute perspective you could say there is no right or wrong, good or bad. But, we humans are embodied, and for our relative existence, we have good and bad. We have morals to make our lives easier, less stressful, less fearful.
What the perspective of absolute does for us, however, is give us breathing room from guilt, shame, and other destructive self imposed suffering.
I wouldn't worry about things being called an illusion. The absolute is existence, and therefore anything, however illusionary, is That.
I think that Advaita defines reality as that which does not change. The One does not change. All change happens in Maya, a power of Awareness. Like the movie screen is the same no matter what movie is played. The screen is not affected. So, at least for me, seeing beyond the reality beyond the ego is just seeing the One reality, pure Awareness, that does not change.
It seems to me that when we realize "all is One, and I am That," there is no separation, and when there is no separation, everything is the Self.
With that understanding, who is good and who is bad? Who is right, and who is wrong? Who would you wish to harm? What you do to others, you do to yourself.
It follows that the One is eternal. All is eternal. All is now, always and forever.
I would rather have the truth, and the freedom to pursue truth over bliss or an absence of suffering. That doesn't mean that enlightenment and the cessation of suffering isn't the truth.
Effortless is just a feeling that happens when one realizes one is not the doer. Just like someone who loves what they do, they do not call it work. As long as the ego is center stage effort will be needed.
