Is Realization Necessary

In my pursuit of enlightenment I came to a paradox. I realized that I didn't need to feel enlightened because whether I felt realized or not, I was unavoidably That. This is a paradox because I felt a need, a driving force, to understand enlightenment. And yet I had the counter intuitive thought that it wasn't necessary because I was That. I was what I was looking for! 

This seems to point to the fact that some part of me knew I was That, while another part was in denial. Perhaps we all know deep inside that we are in essence That which is existence. It is our mind that wants assurance. The realization seems to be when the mind comes into agreement with the intuition. That is, when we know that we know. 

Your Life Has Beautiful Meaning

Whenever my life felt meaningless there was always a disgust at that feeling. Why would that be? It seems that the natural revulsion we experience is due to the meaningless being untrue. Our deepest nature is telling us that we are seeing something wrong. If there is a "natural" state, it is not meaninglessness. 

I do not always experience beauty. But I got an insight into this after an ecstatic mystical experience. I could not stay in the ecstasy because there was no "me" there. As the ecstasy faded, I got a direct input of truth. An inner perception gave me this pronouncement. "You are always surrounded by absolute beauty, always have been, and always will be, whether you are aware of it or not." 

That notification was a direct message about the truth of existence. It is Absolute beauty whether we recognize it or not. When I see beauty I am grateful. When I don't see beauty, I know it is still there. 

The Inner Door

The door to our spirit, to our eternal life is not out there. Out there we will only find pointers. And out there, the pointers are few and far between. The door is inside, where we don't look. It is like the back door we never use. We even forget that it is there. 

There is only one thing we can't deny; it is that we exist, that we are aware. This awareness is the "I am" that was given to Moses, and the "I am" that Jesus spoke of. He said, "I am is the way the truth and the life." He was referring to the "I am" of each of us. The one eye that looks from all creatures. Not Jesus the man. 

The back door is where we finally have to look. It is the inside door. We must have great confidence to open the inner door. Without that confidence, we must be brought to our knees in suffering to finally open it. 

The inner door must be opened for the true light to get in. The world's light is but a dim reflection. We spend our life looking under the lamppost when the sun is just beyond the inner door. Let us be confident and open that inner 'back door' before we suffer too much. Peace.  

Deeper Truth

When you hold on to a basic idea that is wrong, that does not conform to reality, then denial of other aspects of reality must occur to protect the original belief. One then becomes further removed from reality and conflicts and arise which cause anxiety.

Basic assumptions must be examined periodically as a way to eliminate the confusion and anxiety that arise when a basic assumption is wrong.

On what basic idea or assumption does your security rest? Is it correct? Is it valid? It is certainly a good question to ask, especially since much of what we believe are unexamined assumptions passed down to us from our parents and culture.

Yes, it is hard to do this. It may engender insecurity for a time, since your current psychological security rests on them. But it is worth the effort.

Alan Watts made the great pronouncement of "The wisdom of insecurity." If you take on the basic insecurity that rests at the bottom of your psyche, you may just find deeper ground from which to bring fresh fruit.