Thursday, May 26, 2016

Corrupted Love

Since I was so critical of my father I have to say that I do know that love was there. We are love, and are always surrounded by love. We are made with love. 

In my father's case I know he loved me very much, it's just that he had many neuroses, and s
evere conditioning from his childhood. Because his love was filtered through that conditioning, it was corrupted. Love filtered does not come out pure. It is certainly not unconditional. 

My father's filters corrupted his love and it came out in destructive ways. I know now that the intense passionate love he had made what came through those filters extreme. As a child I could not see the love behind what came out. I doubt any child could. I only felt the effect of the corruption. 

Years later when my father was dying, he admitted as much. He spent as much time as I wanted working through what was done. I also believe he forgave himself, which is also important. We are all corrupted.

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