No Ego Death

My ego still functions pretty much like it always did. There are some changes though. It's quite peaceful as it doesn't have much motivation. It is known to be a function that keeps food in the fridge and and lets me know when the yard needs to be mowed. I even enjoy it when it likes something its accomplished.

The ego is still here, but there is a knower of the ego. That knower is now the primary identity. Because the knower is known, there is no need to get rid of the ego. It's a form just like all the other ego forms. My ego is just a form appearing with this particular body.

The recognition or realization of the knower negates the power of the ego, but it does not destroy it. It's more like the ego has no roots. It still reacts, behaves badly, gets hurt. But these feelings pass quickly because they have no roots. The return to the knower comes quickly, and the reactions are noticed.

The ego is just an ordinary function,. It is different from other human egos in its peculiarities, but basically the same. It's just not who we really are. When we don't know this, the ego seems all powerful and is taken seriously. When the knower is recognized, the ego takes its rightful place. It's a pet we can't get rid of. It gets weaker with the knowing, but no need to kill it.

Is it not obvious that the purpose in watching the mind is to discover that you are the watcher, the knower of the mind! No need to get rid of it. Just see it in its rightful place. Realization will calm the mind because it's no longer center stage. But you can still appreciate the stage and the acting. It's just a play.  

The Paradox of Enlightenment

Enlightenment is a paradox. Someone searches for enlightenment for 40 years. Finally it is understood, or realized. It is an attainement, but it is paradoxical. The paradox is that the one who realizes, sees that what he was searching for, is what he already is.

That person still remains, and has attained realization. We know this because the search stops. However, he knows he is not who he thought he was. The finding changes identity, but the apparent person still exists as a body/mind intact. From then on there are essentially two aspects of the One: the Absolute Self and the individual, apparent self, still walking around.

This makes for confusion when listening to a sage, becuase sometimes he is speaking from the enlightened viewpoint, and stometimes from the relative viewpoint. You have to be enlightened to catch the difference. That is why realization opens such an incredible vista. All of sudden, all the formerly paradoxical statements ring true. No confusion is left.

We have to admit that the Absolute Self does not need enlightenment, realization, or attainment. However, it is what the personal seeker needs. There is great relief when it is attained. From then on the person knows he is enlightened, which simply means he knows he is not what he thought he was. 

Unconditional Love

The Absolute Self which is all that is, created all that is. As such, it loves unconditionally, all that is, including you. There is nothing you have ever done that the Absolute did not do. Nothing you have ever done, or will do, is unforgivable. Does this not provide relief from all your so called sin?

Jesus forgave no one. As a knower of the Absolute Self. he knew that all was already forgiven. It took no personal power of his to forgive. It simply was already fact. The Pharisees who were not knowers of the Absolute Self could not see the innocence. and could only surmise that Jesus was being blasphemous. Their sin was ignorance, and they were forgiven even before the crucifixion began.

Jesus, knowing the Absolute oneness of the Self, proclaimed, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34)." Is there any doubt that Jesus forgave them even as he died? Any realized person knows that Jesus had no choice but to forgive. The understanding is irrevocable.

Realization allows one to look upon all that happens with this understanding. Guilt has no home. Judging others has no home. Ignorance is the only sin. Sharing the understanding becomes the only hope. Everything becomes okay and life becomes peaceful.

This is not a license to behave badly. The one who knows, sees others as himself, and each and every other one will be loved as himself. This understanding gave Jesus the knowing to say "Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31)."

Go in peace. 

Strange Trust

When you begin to trust That indefinable which is, That which manifests all that is, you don't know where you are going. But it doesn't matter, because you know there is nothing else to trust. You are done with your own direction, your own volition, your own knowing. You just open to That, and follow whatever opens up. There is no knowing where That is going to take you, but you relax into whatever seems to be the flow.

I am 67 years old and I am still working. It is an office job, so it is not too difficult. It has its routine which I like. The routine gives me simplicity, which I must say is an overwhelming desire. The steady income allows me not to worry about money. The lack of worry gives me space to contemplate That which is.

I don't know where I am going, and it certainly doesn't matter. I don't need to know because That is in charge. Relaxing into That, I am confident will take what's left of me where That wishes it to go. Arguably, this is a simple way to live my life. It doesn't allow for much planning because there is no planner available in this body/mind.

From the time I was very young I wanted to be wise. As a teenager I thought 35 was old and so I thought that at 35 I would be wise. At 67 I may have some wisdom, but it is not mine.

There is the old adage that "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I assume that the reverse of this is also true; "When the teacher is ready, the student will appear." Therefore, if I do have anything to teach, the student will appear. At this point I do not know what will happen. I can only wait and see. Whatever happens is OK. 

Effortless Trust

When you realize you are That, and there is only That, what option do you have other than trust? With no options left, surrender happens. This acceptance is deep, and brings great relaxation. Realization, being irrevocable, then procedes effortlessly.

Realization may come suddenly, but several years may pass for the personality to process and absorb the result of the realization. The unfoldment takes some time, but it is effortlessless because the ego is now in obeisance to the Self. The ahah of realization alters perspective to such a degree that the personality loses motivation and disolves into the background. The pesonality has no roots when all sense of someone in need vanishes.

The remants of the personality become ghostlike; a persona seen to be unreal.  Activities don't have the drive of a personality behind them. What's left is only a useful tool for functioning. Change is effortless because there is nothing the personality has to do. Effortlessness, because the person is not the doer. The work belongs to the Self. The understanding does the work.

Quiet Mind

Me and a friend used to say "Nothing matters and everything matters." Both are true at the same time. Another friend used to say, "Just do the next right thing." There is no point in trying to determine ahead of time, what the next right thing is, or will be.

I used to have a very busy mind. If I walked into a room, a buzz of thoughts flailed around like a beehive. "That guy is wearing a pony tail, and so he must be Harley rider, a biker," and there would be a whole thing about why I would or would not talk to him.

"And that woman over there, with the too short skirt. What's she advertising? She shouldn't be dressed like that at this kind of a gathering...." On and on, a whole pile of thoughts, all my own neuroses talking. So busy with my own BS I could hardly relate to anyone.

My mind isn't busy like that anymore. It's quiet. But I am not thoughtless, and I don't try to be thoughtless, I just notice that where I used to have a busy mind, it's relatively quite these days. Now, whatever I'm doing is what I'm doing, and if it requires thought, it pertains. But, there is no distraction by unrelated thoughts. My mind is different, quieter, but not thoughtless.

When there is little motivation, nowhere to go or get to, the mind doesn't have much to do. When you know that you are not in charge, little planning is required. The mind just works when it needs to. Discernment doesn't take a lot of thought. It happens spontaneously.