Meaningfulness

At a certain point on the spiritual path, it is far more interesting and entertaining to see what has lost its meaning, than what has become more meaningful. Surely it is a sign of just how much play the ego has had.

When the ego falls, the house of cards falls. The cards drift away on a breeze of laughter and wonder. The ego's tentacles are vast long tendrils, that when cut off from the source, leave the former person in free fall. But it's the kind of free fall where you spread your arms, and enjoy the ride.

Egos are busy trying to find meaning. Could it be that the basic unreliability is somehow known? Do we frantically look for meaning because at some level we know there isn't any?

We are afraid to look directly at the source of the insecurity. We always look away. Anywhere but here. The mirror is a deadly place isn't it? So we look anywhere and everywhere else. If we are lucky, or if we meet the right teacher, we stop and look.

We see that the supposed special person has built a house on sand. The foundation is a mirage of specialness. A smoke filled room of manipulation and avoidance. So when we really look in the mirror, we see that the "special me" is pile of crap.

The "special me" is a run from the truth, head in the sand, fake. It can be a shock when we first get a glimpse of the pile of crap we've been calling "me." The first glimpse may cause us to try all the harder to prove our worthiness. But this is just a bigger step on the brown brick road of ego.

When we trip again, and are face down on the brown brick, we just might take our time and take a good look at what tripped us up. We see the road we've been on, and see where it's going, and finally, with maybe a bit of humility, we step off the road.

This can be scary at first. This is unchartered territory. "Ah, but the air is fresh." We brave this new territory even if we have no insight into the weather. Stumbling around on real earth at least gives us a chance to see that there is no path.

Now we are the jungle hunter. We develop our own internal machete to hack a the undergrowth. It's our own labyrinth we are cutting through. Our personal jungle is always unique, always pathless.

However, having been told that "Truth is a pathless land, "by such as J. Krishnamurti, at least we know to keep hacking. With a commitment to truth, we hack our own way through our own jungle. Eventually, we find we too had no path. All that was needed was to clear the land.

Now we see there was nowhere to go. It's all one great land. We're already there. We just took the detour called "Ego."

Guru Siddhis

Siddhis: This is a term for spiritual powers of various sorts, from psychic ability to being able to levitate, to be present at various places at once, to become as small as an atom, to materialize objects, to have access to memories from past lives, and more.

Miraculous events may occur around certain apparent enlightened ones or apparent gurus. Keep in mind that these occurrences are not personal and not caused by the so-called enlightened one. These are impersonal events not directly caused by the apparent being.

Who would want to follow a so-called wise person who depended on slight-of-hand and parlor tricks to attract followers? This is more the sign of a low level charlatan than a guru.

The true wise man would probably prefer not to have crowds of followers. He may have to deal with groups of seekers because he wishes to help, but he certainly wouldn't be performing circus tricks as a means to attract followers or show his power.

True power does not need parlor tricks to attract a crowd. In fact, the true wise men would eschew such theatrics. If a miraculous event does occur, the truly wise man would certainly disclaim any personal cause. The true guru knows that it is not his power, a personal power, that would cause such an occurrence.

It's a sad scene when a true seeker gets caught up with a circus performer of siddhis. Years can be wasted. If your are attracted to someone because they can produce ash, make trinkets appear, or produce perfume, you might be due for a good look inside yourself. What is your motive in this? An honest evaluation might allow you to see that you are looking for power, not truth.

If you are attracted to displays of siddhis, card tricks, etc, you are watching a sideshow. You are actually delaying finding the truth. Goethe's Faust was the story of man who sold his soul to the devil for power. Don't sell your soul to a man who entertains you with slight-of hand, and the manifestation of trinkets. Fools gold!

Truth is not an object. It doesn't need magic displays to make itself known. It is far more subtle than that, and far closer to you than your guru.

The true teacher doesn't need you. Jack Kornfield said that the amazing thing about Nisargadatta was that "He wanted nothing from me." The real teacher does not need to self promote. He will be known by what he has become. His teaching is enough.

It's O.K.

It's strange not to have to think anymore, not have to figure anything out. It's quiet in here -- nothing to know -- nothing to hang my hat on - no need to have a hat.

Where is this coming from, nothing and nowhere. Who is writing this? No one. Why? Because I'm not responsible. Couldn't be responsible. When you know the truth that you are not in charge, who's gonna worry?

There is silence. It's not a forced silence. Thinking can come, but mostly it is gone. There is thinking, but it's not mine. It likes to think on abstract subjects, but mostly, it's given up. There is no one it will benefit, certainly not me.

So, there is the house to care for. There are still the problems of the character who appears in this body, who still is not perfect. But no one cares. The imperfection is irrelevant. God is, and God knows what's going on. He's in charge. I watch the river flow.

The body enjoys living, and will continue to do so. It has its pains, its aches, but also its joys. The apparent personality still causes problems for itself. But they are at some distance. Not felt as directly as before.

Mostly there is peace. When the mind gets caught up in a thought, off I go. But at least there is a pause. The pause comes when awakeness returns. Then there is a letting go of the pursuit -- a letting go of what seemed important. Then there is stepping back and going, "Ah, don't really need to worry.

With this silence one gives up on problems. But there is more. One also gives up on dreams, on hopes, on saving the world. The world is as it is. Its design is greater than me. Only an ego would get pulled into saving the world. As Jesus said, "The poor will always be with us." Or, "Let the dead bury the dead."

There is no where to go. No one to turn to. Only this. Only now. Only forevermore. And it's O.K.

Who Am I To Judge

I find myself in a body here. But where did I come from? Did I make myself? Did I create the air this body needs? Do I know how I digest my food? Can I prevent my heart from breaking? Where is my control? My design? We all know that we are here, but do we really know why, or how we got here?

About the only thing I can claim as my own are my thoughts, right? But can I even control them? Or am I just witness to the passing stream of them. Where was the choosing? And when I get caught up in them, don't they run me?

Did we choose to fall in love? Or does love happen to us? Do we manufacture love? Choose it? Or are we chosen? Do we chose to become seekers? Or does seeking just happen?

We are the result of some grand design, and we are really not in a position to judge. We did not create our bodies, did not choose our sex, our parents, our day of birth. There is a grandeur to us when we humbly accept our true position.

It takes great pride, a great leap of incredulity to proclaim, "I am the captain of my ship. I am the master of my fate." Such a position is a fantasy, a mirage. Perhaps it takes time to become aware of our true position. Perhaps this is why wisdom only comes with age. It takes time to see that we are not in control.

It takes courage to accept one's true position. It is only with great honesty, and the courage to really look, that we actually admit, that in fact, we are not in charge. To take on this humility is the first step towards enlightenment.

But what a giant step this is. With this step we actually begin to look beyond our desires, our dreams, our hopes, and look at what actually is. In looking at what actually is, we have to give up the chip we've been carrying, the pedestal we have been standing on. Our ego's claims don't hold water any more. Our presumptions lie shattered. We're free!

Yes, freedom is in the truth, the ACTUALITY! There is great freedom in not being the master, the man, the one in charge. There is great freedom in not being the one responsible, in not being the guilty one. The freedom of innocence. And that innocence is the release from suffering.

And knowing this, I cannot claim enlightenment. I cannot be enlightened. I would have to claim personhood, claim my personality, claim responsibility and guilt. No, this is impersonal. The impersonal Self reigns, not I. Freedom trumps again. Hallelujah!

Effortless

As the apparent I surrenders to what is, trusting that what is, is in charge, the struggles of life diminish considerably.

The nondual awareness that this indicates can come about by looking for the I, or may come by intuition, trusting in something that is not known via concepts. It is a giving up of control, an acceptance of life as it is.

There is something going on that is bigger than the little I. The me generation freed us up to question, but the me then questioned dissolved into a million pieces. Where am I?

Believe it or not, everything is in place. Just as the "Butterfly Effect" proves there is no such thing as chaos, everything is going according to plan. Chaos disappears when one accepts what is.

The eye of the I is One. Let go and become that One. Then see what happens? Without thinking, without worrying, life moves. So let your life flow! Trust in the Isness that prevails. As it has been said, "You don't need to push the river. It flows by itself."

Everything and Nothing Matters

After long discussions with a friend on esoteric matters, we would often say to each other, "Everything Matters and Nothing Matters." We would say this to each other with smiles, but we were deadly serious.

This paradox is quite profound. To ponder it allows for mindfulness in everything, while also allowing for non attachment. There is spaciousness in this as well as limits -- room for action and rest, initiating and releasing. Quite healthy mentally, when practiced.

Zen uses koans to break dualistic thinking and force it into another dimension. They are often paradoxical and or non sensical. "Nothing matters and everything matters," is like a koan and it keeps the paradox alive and working 24/7.

Everything matters because everything that we do relates to what exists. Especially with people and animals, being helpful and kind make a difference in their lives. As long as there are bodies, things are needed, some more than others.

Everything matters because every hair on your head, and your neighbors head are counted. You need help, and they need help, physically and mentally, and spiritually. In all ways, some things are more beneficial than others.

Nothing matters in the sense that we are not in control of the universe. As humans we are limited. There is only so much we can do, despite our wishes to the contrary. We can help, but we may not be able to save the world.

Essentially the statement being discussed here is similar to the Buddhist saying that "We are responsible for the effort, but not for the results." Either way we say it, the essential meaning is the same. Embrace your humanness, make the effort to help, but know your limits.

You can contribute, you can be kind, but you may not be able to change the human condition. Do what you can, be helpful, be kind, but don't be a doormat. Take a little humbleness, and leave guilt behind.

You were meant to be "in the world" and take your part. You were not meant to be "of the world," controlled by it, or totally consumed by it. By acknowledging your limits, you empower yourself to do what you can, without guilt.

So smile at your neighbor. Help your friend. Turn the other cheek when you are able. Speak your mind and bite your tongue. Both are allowed. Either can be chosen. Just practice mindfulness as to your choice.

Remember the "Law of the Ladder" and do not try to drag someone unwillingly to your level. Neither berate yourself for not springing up the ladder, three rungs at a time. "There is a time, there is a season, to every purpose under heaven."

~ Maury Lee 5/1/2008 ~

The Limits of Logic

I had a very brilliant father. He had a scholarship to M.I.T. which he turned down for personal reasons. Many times during my childhood, compatriots of his, coworkers, would say, "He's the smartest man I've ever known.

This was a rather hard thing for me to take, for as most children, I wanted to become my own person, to do my own thinking, have my own mind. For me then, knowing my father to be brilliant, and having others tell me the same, I wondered how I could ever soar out from under his wings.

My father had only the best of intentions. But, he did not trust me or the other children to make good decisions. I felt, rightly or wrongly, that he wanted to control all my thoughts and feelings. The fact that he couldn't was stressful for him, and did not have good results for us.

His logic and ability to reason were so superior that I could never win an argument with him. I could sense that he was wrong, but I couldn't refute him intellectually. A big divide was created inside of me. On the one side, my father's righteousness and rightness, and on the other, my heart and what it told me.

This divide was further defined by my mother who was warm, loving, and who had a practical, heart-felt, intuition. And her practical warmth and intuition did me more good than all my father's reasoning. Would I have even survived without my mother's buffering softness?

So, without thinking about it, without even knowing what was happening, I developed an understanding, a knowing, that there was something truer, something greater than reason. This statement should not be construed in any manner to denigrate reason. It has its own power, and usefulness.

But, the point here is, that there is a limit to reason. It is limited to the linear world, good with form, useful for science, architecture, and engineering, etc. But, it cannot go into the non-linear formless place of spirit.

To enter spirit, one must leave the security of the linear and enter the formless nonlinear domain. Depending on reason alone, one might never see the other door, the one leading into the world of the undefinable, the world of essence.

So, when I began my spiritual journey, I already knew that there was something more than science, than logic, than linear domains. This allowed me to look into areas that looked foolish to others, even crazy.

Being a believer in worlds that science didn't know, I was an outsider. Even in the churches I was an outsider. As soon as there was a box, I couldn't fit in it. There was the Catholic box, the Baptist box, the Buddhist box. None fit.

So, I was a barefoot spiritual cowboy. I had no home, only the pull of the future, my destiny , to go beyond form. So here I am now, knowing something I cannot explain, a knowing beyond time, beyond space, beyond anything that can be packaged.

I am here, there, and everywhere. Nowhere you can define. Pointing only to that placeless place which is beyond time, outside of space, ineffable, and always so.

The Impersonal Self

I Am, is the way, the truth, and the light. The one fundamental truth that we can all admit to is the sense of “I Am.” The truth is verified by every sentient creature. Every human language has "I" as the personal subject. Every person has said, I am hungry, I am thirsty, I Am etc. The individual "I Am" is but an extension of the One, I Am.

When Jesus said “I am the way the truth and the light,” he was not speaking of the personal man from Nazareth, he was speaking of himself as one with Source. The mistaken understanding of Jesus, as the "only son of God," has been the downfall of Western theology and the Westerner’s inability to see the nondual truth.

Our true Self is impersonal. Because we manifest from the universal Source, our true being is that Source. That source is one, and all is that One. Therefore there is only one subjective source in the universe. That Self which has manifested as the many, is not a personality, not a separated individual.

To know the true self removes us from our personal sense and merges us into the One Grand Impersonal Self. The Illusion of a separate self yields at last to the truth of Source. We are expressions of source.

In the Impersonal there is no use or need for words. There is a knowing, and yet no thought. It is a knowing prior to the intellect, prior to words. Only later, if asked, are words formed. They can never convey the whole truth. They serve as pointers only.

Surrender

While being an apparent person, the ego is still in play, and no matter how long one searches, realization will not take place until there is some form of surrender. The surrender is a loud cry, an acknowledgment, "I can't do this!"

This is why there has been a very long tradition of the need for a teacher, a guru. And if one pays attention to the great teachers, one can frequently hear them express gratitude to their teacher for their realization. Sometimes expressed as "By the grace of my guru."

Of course, the teacher, the guru, does not take any such compliments personally, for he is Aware of the Impersonal Self --Awareness Itself.

Surrender is thus the best explanation I can come up with as to why one phone call to Charlie Hayes, put me over the edge.

Was I ripe, yes. Was I ready to surrender, yes. It was the intention of surrender and the action that followed, the call, that did me in. And so the tradition of surrender continues.

Below are two statements made by American teachers regarding this subject. The tradition, obviously is not simply one for the Far East. It seems to be universal, and applicable here in the West as well.

The Procedure Toward Awakening - by by Alfred Pulyan

The student realizes that "awakening" or "realization" will never come unless at least once the student has surrendered the "boss-concept" of ego or self, the idea that it is a Supreme Court in itself, self-sufficient, "Captain of My Soul" (as Henley boasts & poor Bertrand Russell squeaks after him) ---

Since the student is seeking to realize "that" to which he is subordinate, second-in-command, it is obvious he must lower his flag, admit his lower status, at some time.


The "Law of the Ladder - by Franklin Merrell-Wolff

The law of the ladder says that you can only learn from people one rung above you; you can only teach one rung below you. If you reach down too low, they pull you down by the hair of the head. They crucify you. And if you reach up too far, the guy on the second rung above looks like an idiot to you. You can't comprehend him.

I Am Many Persons

When I was and infant, I didn't think at all. When I was a child, I thought like a child. When I was a teenager, I thought like a teenager. When I was a Christian, I thought like a Christian. When I was an atheist, I thought I was that. And then I thought blah, blah, blah.

All the while I thought I was these things, who was there knowing that I believed them? Who was there feeling the results of those thoughts? Since there was awareness of all those positionalities, and now they are gone, who am I now?

I've been a series of persons. A little odd, me thinks. Was the real me ever any of those persons? Or can I even say persons?

Or, am I just Awareness. Pure, open space Awareness. Ever present, ever allowing, never judging, but feeling the results of those judgments.

The real me just lets concepts of a person come and go. If I follow them, I become a person and forget who I really am. Was I ever one of those persons, or was Awareness just allowing those apparent persons to be, as long as they wished to be?

Who will I be tomorrow? Only someone if I forget who I really am.

What Happens to Desire

Over the years I've read a lot of texts about getting rid of desires as a path to enlightenment. Heaven forbid! That's putting the cart before the horse. Results of an event don't indicate the path. If a forest fire results in no trees left standing, you don't go cut down all the trees in a neighboring forest to start a fire.

There is absolutely no need to get rid of desires as a path to realization. Once pure Awareness is recognized as one's own very Self, desires just begin to fall away on their own. There is no effort involved. In fact, trying to get rid of desires will only strengthen the ego and keep you on the treadmill longer.

Stick to the very basic pointers of the great sages: Socrates said, "Know thyself." Ramana Maharshi said, "Look for the source of the I." Nisargadatta said, "Stay with I am. Not this or that, just the sense of I am."

If you are even on the path to enlightenment, you will notice certain activities diminish. You will simply find certain activities just don't have the same appeal. Especially activities that take you away from the drive for internal time. Time alone for introspection just becomes more attractive.

This one learned a long time ago that one doesn't have to work at changing. What one needed was to increase awareness. That is all. The only sin any of us maintain is ignorance. Awareness is a light that when it shines in our dark spots, the shadows can be seen. More light and the shadows disappear.

When one realizes that one is Awareness itself, the resulting changes may be effortless. Effort may come in later when one has to make adjustments due to the effortless changes. More like cleanup duty.

Once Awareness is experienced as the self, there may be some tremendous effects, but there will be no you working on this -- no you thinking there are desires to be disengaged from.

Desires don't actually go away, they just lose their energy. When you are that which you have always been, and that which you will always be, what more could you need, or possibly get? It's the end of the road as far as gaining anything.

You go to do something that you used to do, and you realize the drive is just no longer there to pursue it. All that's left is what is needful, food, water, shelter. Fancy houses, fast cars, etc, are just nice if you have them, but not necessities.

So, what do you do now? All you can do is sit back and wait to see what happens. You may find that your energy just seems to remain internal. It doesn't project like it used to. Without the coloring of ego, there's a lot less to defend and less to uphold.

Once realization hits, it's like you sit back and watch as everything falls away. What you need isn't out there! You already are what you need.You wake up each day and count what has fallen away. This is how simplicity takes over and complexity diminishes. It's effortless, but it is noticed.

As the energy internalizes and goes out less and less, the world takes on more and more the feel of a dreamscape. It still needs to be dealt with, but the simplicity of that which is essential, is so visible, so clear, that all the rest is just a parade that one can't get involved with. You don't try and stay out of it, there's simply no energy to get involved with it, period.

What can you gain when you are already all that is? Nothing. You just remain as Being. You are the parade. You just play your part without effort, without resistance. You know you are not an individual doer. You are the doing of everything.


maury lee 4/24/08

Grabbing The Fruit

If we didn't hold on to our beliefs, our positions, our opinions, would there be a me? If one could set aside these conditions on perception, where would the I be? If one held all opinions at arms length, and all concepts only tentatively, wouldn't the self disappear?

As a child growing up in a religious household, holding one set of beliefs as sacred, and others sacrilegious, certain observations became apparent. Every so often, Time Magazine would have an article on religion in which a certain church would pronounce that such and such a doctrine had been revised, and the new doctrine was now X instead of Y.

As this went on over the years, it was observed that the established religions tended to follow society's changes, changing doctrine to accommodate where society had moved. Even to a child's mind, this began to undermine any belief in ecclesiastical authority.

And then, to observe this in one's own mind, was a shock. Not a gratifying insight, as this mind was just as guilty of pandering as the church. Seeing this was insightful, and painful, but the pandering continued. Despite the shortcomings, this one was, after all, a truth seeker. When he had the courage, he was brutally honest with himself.

The mind was rigid, but something here wanted truth. For there to be any possibility of truth, the mind had to open up, to stretch, so to speak. And yet the mind didn't want to decompose in an instant. The mind loved itself. It craved security.

So, a deal of sorts was struck. OK, there's this search for truth, and so we must stretch, but we're not going to reach too far, too fast. That was the deal. Accommodate the mind, but push it to a certain extent. Stretching and holding on became a way of suffering. Every seeker's story.

What was observed was that the body-mind would find itself in a book store, looking for a book that was close enough to the mind's current position to be read, but just enough further out, to cause a stretch. Of course this begs the question: Who was observing the mind doing this? Who saw the mind holding back? Who saw the mind stretching?

It occurred to the mind, that this process surely showed that in time, all positions currently held, would eventually be abandoned, and new ones put in place. Having observed this, the mental struggle could have been entirely abandoned. All concepts thrown out. The term "Opt Out," would describe the fastest route to freedom. But this wasn't chosen.

Alas, as minds are, just opting out seemed insane. Having nothing to stand on mentally was just too scary a prospect. So, the journey continued. Here, one should be reminded that there was an observer, and the mind was aware of the observer. But the mind just couldn't get a grasp on that one.

Reading J. Krishnamurti was certainly a mind blower, and a great stretch for this little mind. J.K. was always saying that "The observer is the observed." The mind loved the phrase, and knew it was important, but just couldn't get it.

There is sudden enlightenment, but it wasn't going to be that way for this tip toeing seeker. No, he had to drag it out for 40 years. Finally, after taking the mind apart, piece by piece, there was barely a limb to stand on.

Like the parable of the monk hanging on a limb over a precipice, destined to fall, this one had to make a choice. "Do I hang on for another few minutes, or do I reach out, grab the fruit, and a have a bite on the way down? I died, but I tasted the fruit.

maury lee 4/18/2008

A Bird Conversation

Truth is like the air under a bird's wing. It cannot be grasped, captured, contained in any way. It cannot be controlled. And yet it supports a bird's soaring flight.

The air is always there, under the wings, whenever opened. It doesn't go anywhere. Cannot be seen, yet it is always there. Wherever the bird is, there it is.

A bird soars from the ground to the broadening heights of sky, yet ask a bird about air, and he will say, "What's that?"

"It's what you fly on!"

"Oh, I don't know about that. I fly on my wings. See? I fly on these."

"But it's what's under you wings that lets you fly. Don't you see?"

"No, I don't see. There's nothing under my wings."

Awareness is like air. It's always there, always here, always everywhere. But who sees Awareness? We are like birds, living in Awareness, but only seeing our wings. We see the content, but not the context. Have you noticed?

Let The Big Cat Jump

If you were born a seeker, you might as well go to the zoo and stick your head in the tiger's mouth, or take up race car driving, because you won't be getting out alive.

The seeker will die a seeker unless he finds, and to find is to loose all that you think you are. "Lose your life for my sake, and you shall have eternal life," was how Jesus put it.

How many years does it take the average seeker to figure out that he has to leave himself behind? How long before he packs his bags, throws them in the back of a truck, and dumps them off a cliff?

As Wei Wu Wei put it, "Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 per cent of everything you think, and of everything you do, is for yourself - and there isn't one."

Seeking is not just an Advaita disease, it's every seeker's ball and chain. Anyone reading this post can say "Been there. Done that."

An interviewer once asked an old lady living in the hollers of West Virginia what she had to say about living, having arrived at the age of ninety. She thought a minute, and said, "If you're born to hang, you ain't gonna drown, so let the big cat jump."

Now, I really like that quote. If this doesn't sum up realization, I don't know what does! Let me explain my take on this. This lady has observed a lot of life, and she knows damn well that people aren't as free as they think they are.

If one is destined by nature to live in such a way as to be hanged, for what you did, or what you didn't do, there's probably not much you can do about it. If that's your destiny, you certainly don't have to worry about drowning. Ain't gonna happen.

So, iff you're walking in the woods, and you see a big mountain lion about to jump, you can just calmly walk by because you ain't gonna die that way either. "Let the big cat jump."

But, there is another freedom hidden in this understanding. It is the understanding that you are not what you think you are! You are not a person, wrapped in a skin, stuck in a mind. In fact, you are freedom far beyond these apparent limitations.

You are beyond bondage or freedom. Beyond needing help of any kind. You are not a technical writer, a yoga teacher, a spiritual guru, you are awareness itself. You are an explosion of yourself! Expressing yourself in every possible way. A multitudinous manifestation of form.

So, did this seeker waste any time seeking? Not possible! Who did he think he was? Who was living this life? The little person I thought I was? No, beingness was just being what was happening. Happening happened to be seeking. So what.

From here there is nothing but freedom. Seeking didn't waste any of my time. There wasn't a me. Just a pile of thought. It's what happened to no one. So now there is seeing. Ah peace. Shall we go watch the parade?

Satsang Food

The teacher was sharing with a satsang group, doing his best to convey the Awareness that is prior to all concepts, all thought. The apparent students were listening intently, even though the meeting room was at ground level, on a noisy street.

Several of the students were complaining, "I don't get it." Suddenly, the door opened and a street person walked in. He was haggard, thin, in filthy clothes. When he adjusted to the light, he looked around the room and said, "I am hungry. I need food. "

The apparent teacher, reached for the pad by his chair, picked up a pencil and wrote, "Food," on the slip of paper. He handed it to the street person.

The hungry man looked at the note. Then he looked at the teacher, first quizzically, then angrily. "Is this a joke? I don't want this? I can't eat words? I want real food!" The man threw the paper on the floor, and stood there glaring at the teacher.

The teacher stared back, not saying a word. Suddenly, one of the students began to laugh, "Oh my God! There is seeing this!" Then several other students began to laugh. Some saying, "Oh, it's so obvious. Oh, so simple. There is seeing."

The tattered beggar started to laugh as well. One student took out his wallet, and gave the beggar all the bills it contained. "You don't know how much you have given me tonight. Thank you so much."

Then several other students opened their wallets or purse, and gave the beggar the money they had, saying "God bless you! You have no idea what you have just revealed!"

The beggar left, blissfully happy, wondering what had just happened.

The teacher and students sat in silent awareness for a long time before they went home.

I is, or I am?

What feels better to say, "I is," or "I am?" As the mind pondered this today, the answer seemed intellectually strange. But it did not feel strange.

When you begin the great Advaita inquiry, "Who am I?" it is a phrase that naturally feels right. Many have heard this instruction, and they've thought about it intellectually, but few have really looked. I mean REALLY looked!

It seems to dead end when no path is found. Inquirers give up when they get into the vague territory of this well known, but really challenging, simple question. J. Krishnamurti said, "Truth is a pathless land." How right he was! Looking for who, or what I am, is one of the most profound investigations an apparent person can do.

Needless to say actually pursuing this to the end seems to be the territory of very rare birds. The natural proclivity to believe long held assumptions is like a veil that protects this inquiry from going too deep. This is also why it is usually necessary to have a teacher, "One who knows," take a look with you.

For the rare bird that has looked into the bottom of the "I am" well, and not come back, "I am," looses some of its punch. Once one becomes acquainted with Awareness directly, as Awareness, "I am" no longer sits quite right.

What begins to feel right, without searching, without asking, is "Isness." Awareness Is. I is. I am NOT this or that! I is.

Isness has a sense of immediacy, of presence, of moment to moment. It is beyond nowness, as now implies a past and a future. Awareness is, such as it is.

There Is An Answer

There is an answer, but it is not a concept. The answer is, but it can only be pointed to. There is no ground for a person to hold on to. However, if one truly sees that one is not a person, not a thing, not any thing, then one is standing on holy ground -- the Only Ground -- that which Is. That which Is, everything. You no longer know about that, you are That!

When you are that which Is, and only That, truly you are in a pathless land, a choiceless land, a land where free will and bondage have lost their meaning. You can only be spontaneous, for there is nothing to tell you what to do. You only do that which comes naturally. What you will do has already been decided. You, as a person, have nothing to do with that.

Did you choose to be a seeker? Did you choose to be a finder? No, you were chosen, and you were brought to finding. That's why it is called grace. It's why when one becomes that which is, there can only always be humility. How can you claim any thing as your own? You can only claim everything. And when you are everything, then you are love.

When you are the love that is everything, where is the need for a code of conduct? Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." The people listening took it as a code of conduct, but he was simply speaking from the nondual perspective. He was saying, "You are your neighbor, how could you not love yourself?"

maury lee 4/14/08

The End of You

You can't do anything with enlightenment. Enlightenment is the end of you. You know you are not, despite the fact that the body persists. You know you are not, despite the fact that the mind persists.

The body-mind no longer takes ownership. It belongs to Source alone, Awareness only.

Others will insist that you are still there, but the enlightened one knows they are mistaken. You will not argue, for peace only reigns. True seekers will come to you and ask, and only upon invitation will you speak.

The world is allowed to remain in ignorance. Only when asked will you share your disappearance. "Many are called, but few are chosen."

You have no followers, But those who seek will come. You know the seekers come not of their own accord. Their minds have been put in the tiger's mouth. There is no escape. They scream for help. Only then will you speak.

You want no believers, only those who discover for themselves. And when they have discovered they will leave. You may go out with them for tea and crumpets to say goodbye, but there is nowhere to go.

maury lee 4/11/08

Realization

We all know the story of the rope and the snake. Realization is like the understanding when the perceived snake is seen to actually be a rope. A simple misunderstanding is corrected. You are not an object, not a human with issues, but a no thing, Aware, intelligent, awake.

When you perceive the rope as a snake, you have all kinds of reactions, fear, jumping, screaming, whatever your nature. When you "realize" it's just a rope, there is relaxation, the release of fear, no overreaction, no projection.

You may still trip over the rope. The apparent body remains, but that's just part of a story.

maury lee 4/11/08

Awareness

Awareness contains all objects, but is not an object itself. When remaining as Awareness, no hope or fear has need to arise. Awareness is all that is, abide as this and what concepts need be pursued? What further understanding need be in that which already includes all understanding and misunderstanding, and allows both without judgment.

Any new understanding can only already be in this. Abide as Awareness. Recognize yourself as Awareness. All effort is outside of Awareness. Be still and put to rest all thoughts of achieving.

Abiding in Awareness is the Great rest. All that happens, happens in this, is allowed in this, is welcomed by this. It itself is unmoved. Awareness does not flinch at what appears or disappears. When awareness recognizes itself, it knows only peace is possible. There is only this, observing and containing all. One field, one source, One IS.

When there is Awareness as Awareness, what more needs to be obtained? There is nothing left to do but watch what happens, including that which the self apparent body-mind appears to do. It all happens effortlessly for the one who abides as Awareness.

maury lee 4/10/08