You and I

When you are sitting across from me you see me over here. But am I really over here, and you over there? You know I am over here because light reflected off the energy form penetrates your eyes and gets interpreted in your mind. The form created in your mind is an interpretation of the energy field present.

If you then look at your own body, the same process interpretation unfolds. Your mind sees your body where you are. But both images are nowhere but in your mind. If both images are only in your mind, how much separation is there really between you and me?

Awareness is that which knows the images. That awareness is the same whether you are wearing a pink dress one day and green the next. Awareness is the same whether I am wearing jeans and baseball cap, or a suit and tie.

You and I are seen in your mind, and you and I are seen in my mind. The process is the same. But how can you and I both be in separate minds if both of us are in each other's mind? Rather confusing, isn't it?

If we are both in each other's minds, it must be that we are not separate, but in fact one consciousness. We are both conscious in one undivided field of awareness. That awareness is what we are. In that there is no here and there, no me and you, just that Awareness. 

Being Good

If you take Jesus' saying, "Love your neigbor as yourself" as a commandment, you are missing something. This was not a commandment. It was a pointer. If you know your neighbor Is yourself, you got it. In the first instance you are trying to be good. In the second instance you are goodness itself. 

Corrupted Love

I have pondered for many years what "unconditional love" is. From the point of view of the Absolute it is easily understood. All that is is That. There is no second. There is no judge of the Absolute. Everything created, every life form is That. All one, and no description of the creation from the Absolute view can be anything other than pure love. All is as it is, created in love, with no judgment possible.

The issue I always had was from the human point of view. Can we live as a human with unconditional love? It seems a few sages over our history have. But how did they do it? They must have had the Absolute nondual perspective. Only from there could they have known and acted without judgment.

How is Absolute unconditional love reflected in the rest of us? It is like pure light through a prism, broken and split. We express our love through the damaged, fearful, filters we developed growing up with parents who were damaged, and fearful. The love is there all the time, but it is corrupted with the conditioning we can't avoid.

The only solution I can see is for each of us to look at our fears and own our damaged condition with forgiveness. When we see our own damage, feel the pain and let it go, we see the damage that was in our parents. Then forgiving them is possible.

As each of us works through our damage and sees the hidden, broken light, the damage we do will be just a little less. The less corrupted our love, the more we see the innocence in everyone and compassion has its birth. 

Silence

So many spiritual people talk about the silence. When you go to the theater and watch a movie, that's the mind. When the movie is over and the projector is turned off, all you get is the screen. It is silent. You may not have even noticed it. But without qualities it is the perfect background for the movie. You are awareness, pure consciousness, the perfect silent background for your mind and the activities of the world.  

Enlightenment Is Not An Experience

I was watching a teacher streaming online talking to a gentleman who was very insistent on understanding. He was speaking of his search as this big lack in his life. The teacher kept insisting that he find the lack somewhere in his body. He said he didn't feel the lack in his body. His body was fine. The teacher then said that if he couldn't find the feeling in his body then he couldn't be helped.

I was really appalled at the teacher's response. This poor fellow was desperate, and he had a strong intellect. Instead of letting him know that the intellect was a not a problem, he was told that he was too intellectual. He was told he was stuck in his head.  There was no help for him if he didn't get out of his head.

This is really a travesty. I can tell you that the teacher has a big following online and is very entertaining. I don't doubt the teacher is in touch with the nondual perspective. But, the teaching is utterly unhelpful, and in fact damaging to this poor fellow.

I have done lots of group therapy and it was a tremendous relief to work through repressed feelings, but enlightenment isn't a feeling. Teachers espousing enlightenment as a feeling are wasting a seekers' time. I too have had a lot of mystical experiences. I have been in states of ecstasy and union with everything, but I can tell you they don't last. As James Swartz makes very clear, enlightenment is not a feeling, it is not an experience.

The major dividing line I experienced watching and visiting teachers was that all seemed to be coming from the same space, but some were helpful, and some were not. The unhelpful ones were entertaining, but frustrating at the same time. They kept saying that one needed to feel or experience something, but each had a different experience.

I finally decided that I needed to know for certain what I was looking for. I could see that the experiential enlightenment teachings got me nowhere. Even if I could duplicate, replicate, or induce a similar experience, there was no way to guarantee it lasting more than a minute or a few days.

The big question then became, what in the hell is enlightenment anyway? Who would know? In thinking about this I realized that I needed to go to the source of enlightenment. Where was the source? Well, it's far back in history in ancient India. That's where the original teaching and years of refinement happened. What was their definition?

When I went looking. I happened on the teaching of James Swartz. I was immediately tuned in. Here I found a teacher who knew what he was talking about. He wasn't espousing a feeling or any particular experience. He also did not say I needed any particular experience.

As I watched James' videos, he explained the teaching from beginning to end. He had the definition and the whole teaching. I had to use my intellect to understand what he was saying, but I didn't have to have any particular feeling. I didn't have to have any particular experience.

He explained that experiences could be useful, but they needed to be understood. In other words, what did the experience point to? What did the experience mean? This made experience a stepping stone, not the big bang. The bottom line was that enlightenment was an understanding, a knowing, and experiences where just a sideline.

What a relief to an intellectual like me. I didn't have to degrade myself for not having certain feelings. I didn't have to have a particular experience, I just had to understand. The more I watched his videos, the more I understood. And the more I understood, the more satisfaction I felt. Understanding was something I could grasp. The bottom line is that feelings and experiences are not transferable, but understanding, knowledge, can be conveyed. Not that there isn't work to be done, but it's not chasing experience or feelings. Believe me, I have feelings. Having the right feeling was not my issue. And it's not the issue regarding enlightenment. Knowledge and understanding are the key.

It took about a year for the knowledge to gel and come to fruition, but once I really understood and took it to heart, I realized the understanding. What a relief after many years to know I had found what I was looking for.

If you are out there chasing the enlightenment experience, please reconsider. Enlightenment is knowledge based. The knowledge creates understanding, and the understanding leads to realization. Ultimately it's really simple, but since we are hard wired with ignorance, it takes a teacher with knowledge, understanding, and a means of knowledge to produce results.

I am sure I would have realized sooner had I encountered James Swartz teachings sooner. Perhaps I wasn't ready until he appeared. I suspect that is true. If I can help someone else by pointing them to a teacher who has the ancient teachings under his belt, then this post will be of value.

James Swartz teaches the understanding of enlightenment from the Vedas. He doesn't tout his own experience. He isn't promoting himself, and he doesn't claim any new teaching. That humility alone makes him worth listening to.

I went searching for the origin of the enlightenment teachings. I went searching for understanding of the ancient original texts. When I found videos on line by an American who knew Sanskrit, and knew the ancient texts, and could teach them in English, I knew I was home. Worked for me. Thank you James! 

Enlightenment Is Not An Experience

I was watching a teacher streaming online talking to a gentleman who was very insistent on understanding. He was speaking of his search as this big lack in his life. The teacher kept insisting that he find the lack somewhere in his body. He said he didn't feel the lack in his body. His body was fine. The teacher then said that if he couldn't find the feeling in his body then he couldn't be helped.

I was really appalled at the teacher's response. This poor fellow was desperate, and he had a strong intellect. Instead of letting him know that the intellect was a not a problem, he was told that he was too intellectual. He was told he was stuck in his head.  There was no help for him if he didn't get out of his head.

This is really a travesty. I can tell you that the teacher has a big following online and is very entertaining. I don't doubt the teacher is in touch with the nondual perspective. But, the teaching is utterly unhelpful, and in fact damaging to this poor fellow.

I have done lots of group therapy and it was a tremendous relief to work through repressed feelings, but enlightenment isn't a feeling. Teachers espousing enlightenment as a feeling are wasting a seekers' time. I too have had a lot of mystical experiences. I have been in states of ecstasy and union with everything, but I can tell you they don't last. As James Swartz makes very clear, enlightenment is not a feeling, it is not an experience.

The major dividing line I experienced watching and visiting teachers was that all seemed to be coming from the same space, but some were helpful, and some were not. The unhelpful ones were entertaining, but frustrating at the same time. They kept saying that one needed to feel or experience something, but each had a different experience.

I finally decided that I needed to know for certain what I was looking for. I could see that the experiential enlightenment teachings got me nowhere. Even if I could duplicate, replicate, or induce a similar experience, there was no way to guarantee it lasting more than a minute or a few days.

The big question then became, what in the hell is enlightenment anyway? Who would know? In thinking about this I realized that I needed to go to the source of enlightenment. Where was the source? Well, it's far back in history in ancient India. That's where the original teaching and years of refinement happened. What was their definition?

When I went looking. I happened on the teaching of James Swartz. I was immediately tuned in. Here I found a teacher who knew what he was talking about. He wasn't espousing a feeling or any particular experience. He also did not say I needed any particular experience.

As I watched James' videos, he explained the teaching from beginning to end. He had the definition and the whole teaching. I had to use my intellect to understand what he was saying, but I didn't have to have any particular feeling. I didn't have to have any particular experience.

He explained that experiences could be useful, but they needed to be understood. In other words, what did the experience point to? What did the experience mean? This made experience a stepping stone, not the big bang. The bottom line was that enlightenment was an understanding, a knowing, and experiences where just a sideline.

What a relief to an intellectual like me. I didn't have to degrade myself for not having certain feelings. I didn't have to have a particular experience, I just had to understand. The more I watched his videos, the more I understood. And the more I understood, the more satisfaction I felt. Understanding was something I could grasp. The bottom line is that feelings and experiences are not transferable, but understanding, knowledge, can be conveyed. Not that there isn't work to be done, but it's not chasing experience or feelings. Believe me, I have feelings. Having the right feeling was not my issue. And it's not the issue regarding enlightenment. Knowledge and understanding are the key.

It took about a year for the knowledge to gel and come to fruition, but once I really understood and took it to heart, I realized the understanding. What a relief after many years to know I had found what I was looking for.

If you are out there chasing the enlightenment experience, please reconsider. Enlightenment is knowledge based. The knowledge creates understanding, and the understanding leads to realization. Ultimately it's really simple, but since we are hard wired with ignorance, it takes a teacher with knowledge, understanding, and a means of knowledge to produce results.

I am sure I would have realized sooner had I encountered James Swartz teachings sooner. Perhaps I wasn't ready until he appeared. I suspect that is true. If I can help someone else by pointing them to a teacher who has the ancient teachings under his belt, then this post will be of value.

James Swartz teaches the understanding of enlightenment from the Vedas. He doesn't tout his own experience. He isn't promoting himself, and he doesn't claim any new teaching. That humility alone makes him worth listening to.

I went searching for the origin of the enlightenment teachings. I went searching for understanding of the ancient original texts. When I found videos on line by an American who knew Sanskrit, and knew the ancient texts, and could teach them in English, I knew I was home. Worked for me. Thank you James! 

Muddy Water

Let's not muddy the water by saying everyone is enlightened. It is a sloppy statement. It points to a truth, but it  also misleads because it leaves out the necessary "realization" of this truth.

The truth of this statement points to the fact that everyone is Awareness. It points to our essential oneness. It acknowledges that we are the One, God, Brahman, the Absolute.

The problem with the statement is that only a realized person knows this. Enlightenment means that one knows this fact. Realizing this fact is enlightenment. But does the average person know this? No, he does not.

So, we have the truth that we are all Awareness, undivided, unlimited, unborn, eternal. But, we have people who realize this, and people who do not realize this. Enlightenment means the mind realized this, and the light went on. To not realize this means the mind remains in ignorance.

Therefore the statement that "Everyone is enlightened," is a false statement. It is better to say everyone is Awareness. This fact may be argued by those who have not realized, but lets not call them enlightened.

Realizing the self is usually a long process of questioning the mind, of inquiring into existence, and pursuing the question, "Who am I." For many, the subject is rather abstract. Understanding is not easy.

It takes a sattvic, clear mind to catch the subtleties of inquiry. Unclear, sloppy statements, don't help. Therefore, if we are going to help others to see the truth, we must be careful how we use words or phrases to convey this understanding. Let us be careful and admit that everyone is Awareness, but lets not be sloppy and say "everyone is enlightened." 

No Ego Death

My ego still functions pretty much like it always did. There are some changes though. It's quite peaceful as it doesn't have much motivation. It is known to be a function that keeps food in the fridge and and lets me know when the yard needs to be mowed. I even enjoy it when it likes something its accomplished.

The ego is still here, but there is a knower of the ego. That knower is now the primary identity. Because the knower is known, there is no need to get rid of the ego. It's a form just like all the other ego forms. My ego is just a form appearing with this particular body.

The recognition or realization of the knower negates the power of the ego, but it does not destroy it. It's more like the ego has no roots. It still reacts, behaves badly, gets hurt. But these feelings pass quickly because they have no roots. The return to the knower comes quickly, and the reactions are noticed.

The ego is just an ordinary function,. It is different from other human egos in its peculiarities, but basically the same. It's just not who we really are. When we don't know this, the ego seems all powerful and is taken seriously. When the knower is recognized, the ego takes its rightful place. It's a pet we can't get rid of. It gets weaker with the knowing, but no need to kill it.

Is it not obvious that the purpose in watching the mind is to discover that you are the watcher, the knower of the mind! No need to get rid of it. Just see it in its rightful place. Realization will calm the mind because it's no longer center stage. But you can still appreciate the stage and the acting. It's just a play.  

The Paradox of Enlightenment

Enlightenment is a paradox. Someone searches for enlightenment for 40 years. Finally it is understood, or realized. It is an attainement, but it is paradoxical. The paradox is that the one who realizes, sees that what he was searching for, is what he already is.

That person still remains, and has attained realization. We know this because the search stops. However, he knows he is not who he thought he was. The finding changes identity, but the apparent person still exists as a body/mind intact. From then on there are essentially two aspects of the One: the Absolute Self and the individual, apparent self, still walking around.

This makes for confusion when listening to a sage, becuase sometimes he is speaking from the enlightened viewpoint, and stometimes from the relative viewpoint. You have to be enlightened to catch the difference. That is why realization opens such an incredible vista. All of sudden, all the formerly paradoxical statements ring true. No confusion is left.

We have to admit that the Absolute Self does not need enlightenment, realization, or attainment. However, it is what the personal seeker needs. There is great relief when it is attained. From then on the person knows he is enlightened, which simply means he knows he is not what he thought he was. 

Unconditional Love

The Absolute Self which is all that is, created all that is. As such, it loves unconditionally, all that is, including you. There is nothing you have ever done that the Absolute did not do. Nothing you have ever done, or will do, is unforgivable. Does this not provide relief from all your so called sin?

Jesus forgave no one. As a knower of the Absolute Self. he knew that all was already forgiven. It took no personal power of his to forgive. It simply was already fact. The Pharisees who were not knowers of the Absolute Self could not see the innocence. and could only surmise that Jesus was being blasphemous. Their sin was ignorance, and they were forgiven even before the crucifixion began.

Jesus, knowing the Absolute oneness of the Self, proclaimed, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34)." Is there any doubt that Jesus forgave them even as he died? Any realized person knows that Jesus had no choice but to forgive. The understanding is irrevocable.

Realization allows one to look upon all that happens with this understanding. Guilt has no home. Judging others has no home. Ignorance is the only sin. Sharing the understanding becomes the only hope. Everything becomes okay and life becomes peaceful.

This is not a license to behave badly. The one who knows, sees others as himself, and each and every other one will be loved as himself. This understanding gave Jesus the knowing to say "Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31)."

Go in peace. 

Strange Trust

When you begin to trust That indefinable which is, That which manifests all that is, you don't know where you are going. But it doesn't matter, because you know there is nothing else to trust. You are done with your own direction, your own volition, your own knowing. You just open to That, and follow whatever opens up. There is no knowing where That is going to take you, but you relax into whatever seems to be the flow.

I am 67 years old and I am still working. It is an office job, so it is not too difficult. It has its routine which I like. The routine gives me simplicity, which I must say is an overwhelming desire. The steady income allows me not to worry about money. The lack of worry gives me space to contemplate That which is.

I don't know where I am going, and it certainly doesn't matter. I don't need to know because That is in charge. Relaxing into That, I am confident will take what's left of me where That wishes it to go. Arguably, this is a simple way to live my life. It doesn't allow for much planning because there is no planner available in this body/mind.

From the time I was very young I wanted to be wise. As a teenager I thought 35 was old and so I thought that at 35 I would be wise. At 67 I may have some wisdom, but it is not mine.

There is the old adage that "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I assume that the reverse of this is also true; "When the teacher is ready, the student will appear." Therefore, if I do have anything to teach, the student will appear. At this point I do not know what will happen. I can only wait and see. Whatever happens is OK. 

Effortless Trust

When you realize you are That, and there is only That, what option do you have other than trust? With no options left, surrender happens. This acceptance is deep, and brings great relaxation. Realization, being irrevocable, then procedes effortlessly.

Realization may come suddenly, but several years may pass for the personality to process and absorb the result of the realization. The unfoldment takes some time, but it is effortlessless because the ego is now in obeisance to the Self. The ahah of realization alters perspective to such a degree that the personality loses motivation and disolves into the background. The pesonality has no roots when all sense of someone in need vanishes.

The remants of the personality become ghostlike; a persona seen to be unreal.  Activities don't have the drive of a personality behind them. What's left is only a useful tool for functioning. Change is effortless because there is nothing the personality has to do. Effortlessness, because the person is not the doer. The work belongs to the Self. The understanding does the work.

Quiet Mind

Me and a friend used to say "Nothing matters and everything matters." Both are true at the same time. Another friend used to say, "Just do the next right thing." There is no point in trying to determine ahead of time, what the next right thing is, or will be.

I used to have a very busy mind. If I walked into a room, a buzz of thoughts flailed around like a beehive. "That guy is wearing a pony tail, and so he must be Harley rider, a biker," and there would be a whole thing about why I would or would not talk to him.

"And that woman over there, with the too short skirt. What's she advertising? She shouldn't be dressed like that at this kind of a gathering...." On and on, a whole pile of thoughts, all my own neuroses talking. So busy with my own BS I could hardly relate to anyone.

My mind isn't busy like that anymore. It's quiet. But I am not thoughtless, and I don't try to be thoughtless, I just notice that where I used to have a busy mind, it's relatively quite these days. Now, whatever I'm doing is what I'm doing, and if it requires thought, it pertains. But, there is no distraction by unrelated thoughts. My mind is different, quieter, but not thoughtless.

When there is little motivation, nowhere to go or get to, the mind doesn't have much to do. When you know that you are not in charge, little planning is required. The mind just works when it needs to. Discernment doesn't take a lot of thought. It happens spontaneously. 

Bing That

Realization doesn't necessitate further changes to the personality. There are likely to be changes, but realization isn't about changing the individual, it is freedom from the individual. The personality is freed to be what it is and do what it does, because enlightenment shifted the identity from the individual person, to That which is absolute. That which is everything was already allowing the person to be how it was.

That which is, was always the mover and shaker, it was simply ignorance on  the part of the individual actor who didn't know. The change for the person is from being somebody, to being That. Being That, the personality is free to be what it is, and That watches.

Enlightenment is just the realization that the person is not what one is. There is a change in perspective which reveals That as the doer, and the person as an actor. Being That, the person is likely to be much freer, more spontaneous, less afraid to be what it is.

From the perspective of That, there can be nothing left for the individual to worry about, because whatever happens to the person doesn't affect That. Doership is in the hands of That, and whatever That allows to happen is the only thing that can happen.

The individual, however, will, most likely, continue to play out its role. It still has conditioning, and survival of the body is hardwired into its behavior. Therefore, worry may happen, fear may happen, but it is likely to be much less of a problem, because the identity is not there.

The ego, which is just the centralizing aspect of the person will still operate. It doesn't disappear, it just has less of a burden, and gets lighter. Whether it is there or not is really irrelevant. While the identifying with That does not provide a lot of details, there is nothing the person can do but trust That. Essentially, the person trusts That which it now is, however unknowing being That is.

So, realization is for the individual. That does not require it. That does not need it. The longing for freedom, the longing to end separation resides in the person. So enlightenment does come to the person, and does free the person. The paradox is that the freedom always was. The individual just needed to realize what he really was. 

Killing Rabbits

I have a little dog, very loving, very smart. While I was mowing the yard the other day, the noise of the mower stirred some baby rabbits that ran across the yard. Following its instincts the beautiful creature that lives with me had killed all three baby rabbits. I didn't see the killing, but did see the dog with a rabbit in its mouth. I found the other two as I finished mowing the yard.

I am relating this to report a change in my reaction to this. Baby rabbits are cute, and in the past I would have been horrified at this. But, that was not my reaction. Knowing that all is one, and all is allowed, I knew that nothing died, and there was no judgment I could make about it.

That designed all that is and all that can happen, or will happen. The killing of the baby rabbits happened. I could see nothing wrong in it. There was some residue of an old attitude which would have judged this as a horrible event. But it was fleeting and had not roots. I picked up the dead rabbits and and removed them from my yard. I finished mowing.

The point of this is that realizing that everything is perfect as it is, whatever happens could not have been otherwise. As I am not the doer, neither is the dog the doer. That is the doer. I am That. The dog is That. The rabbit is That. That, being all that is, has not changed. That has not been violated.

Essentially, because all is That, there is no death. That which is, always has been, and will always be, does not die.

Corrupted Love

Since I was so critical of my father I have to say that I do know that love was there. We are love, and are always surrounded by love. We are made with love. 

In my father's case I know he loved me very much, it's just that he had many neuroses, and severe conditioning from his childhood. Because his love was filtered through that conditioning, it was corrupted. Love filtered does not come out pure. It is certainly not unconditional. 

My father's filters corrupted his love and it came out in destructive ways. I know now that the intense passionate love he had made what came through those filters extreme. As a child I could not see the love behind what came out. I doubt any child could. I only felt the effect of the corruption. 

Years later when my father was dying, he admitted as much. He spent as much time as I wanted working through what was done. I also believe he forgave himself, which is also important. We are all corrupted.

Thought and Feeling

Nothing so disturbs thinking as feeling, and nothing so disturbs feeling as thought. Either one leads home. Some favor the heart, and theirs will be broken. Some favor the mind, and it will crack. Either way the end is surrender. I don't judge either way as superior, I just find some teachers helpful, and some not.

I come by this understanding by way of my home life and conditioning. As a child I had many of the men that worked with my father, take me aside and tell me that my father was the smartest man they had ever met. Let's say it happened more than a few times.

Now this might have made me very happy if I had been pleased with my father, but I wasn't. I knew there was something missing and intelligence didn't make up for it. Like all children, I compared him to my mother. She was quiet, passive, and yet very strong. Her love was unconditional. My father, on the other hand, wanted to control my every move and every thought.

My father was a soul killer, and my mother was a savior. I wouldn't have survived without her. Now, granted, I am just talking about surviving, not thriving! I was an extremely introverted child and extremely sensitive. Believe me, a sensitive child gets deeply hurt, and that fuels tremendous anger. I had to stuff that anger to survive. By the time I left home I was seething. Full of self loathing and I projected that loathing everywhere.

I had my mother's intuition and my father's intellect.My intuition saved me. But intuition wasn't enough to get all the way to freedom. A strong mind needs its satisfaction too. And that would come years later.

Intuition told me that my father was wrong. A child knows in its heart what it needs from its parents, and if it does not get it, it knows the loss deeply. That loss is mostly unconscious, as to know it fully would kill a child. My intuition didn't know the answer, or where to look, but it confidently drove me to search. I looked everywhere with existenial passion, from self help, to psychology, to therapy, and thousands of books.

Advaita says that you need to be qualified for enlightenment. I agree. Basically, this means the personality has to be healthy enough, and strong enough to survive true searching. A strong ego needs to be there to be able to take on the work of looking at itself. And the mind needs to work until it gets clean too, by taking on its own conditioning. Many years of Gestalt therapy cleaned out my repressed emotion, and full blown primal screams dredged up what was left.

Before therapy I tried to outrun my painful feelings with thinking. My mind thought I could reason my way out of them. Alas, I could not. Feeling the feelings is what lets them drop away!There is NO WAY around them. After all the release, my mind quieted down to a level that allowed me to contemplate. There were no longer overwhelming feelings I was trying to run away from.

After the cleansing of repressed feelings the mind needed cleansing too. All of its conditioning needed to be questioned. That took a long time. Projections had to be taken back, and owned. Deconditioning moved slowly as I read my way through self help, psychology, and philosophy. When these failed to bring down the final curtain, the only thing left was spirituality. I read it all. Eastern Hindu traditions were the most revealing. Advaita Vedanta is where I found the depth of understanding that would heal my mind.

The bottom line is, the heart needs to be felt, and the mind needs understanding. At the end of the mind, and the bottom of the heart is silence. The silence comes with complete acceptance of everything as it is, whether I like it or not. The silence knows that all is well. 

Ghostlike Person

When you realize you are not the doer it takes a big bite out of your motivation. You literally have to step back and just see what wants to come, what wants to be done for no reason.

When you realize at the deepest level that you are not the doer, the personality is still there, but you just can't take it seriously anymore. Of course you still try to take it seriously, but it just doesn't have the drive it did before.

From that point on the personality just has to sit back and relax and see what wants to happen. Pretty much what wants to happen just happens. You allow it because there is no opposition.

Not being the doer doesn't make you a good person or a bad person. It's more like being a non person. The mind can sense the non person, but most likely others won't notice because they have no grounds for such knowing.

But the mind does notice the difference. Everything is still as it was, but the mind can't take things seriously any more. Everything becomes dreamlike. You feel like a ghost inhabiting someone who used to be there. The sharp edges of life become gauze-like. People are like ghosts as well. But you don't tell them because they think they are real.

You have entered the unknown where silence reigns. The saving grace is that you trust the silence. You trust life, and know that it is OK, no matter what happens. That pretty much brings peace. 

Silence

I've experienced causeless joy, but it never lasts. It has meaning without knowing reason or proof. And when it goes, I have to let it go. I can't grasp for it, though I wish it would stay. It is like Jazz, free of any particular form, yet taking on any form it chooses in its own time.

There is a silence behind the joy, just like the silence that is behind sorrow. And the silence is there behind all the other experiences that come and go. It takes some subtlety to even recognize the silence. That is why so few speak of it.

But silence is the source of all we experience. Silent, yet always mysterious. I can't grasp it, but I can recognize its existence. In fact it is existence. We are the embodiment of that silent mystery. Ah the mystery. 

Knowledge of Enlightenment

If one defines enlightenment as an experience one is open to a myriad of experiences. Each individual person experiences things differently. This being so, defining enlightenment as an experience opens a floodgate of experiences that may or may not be repeatable. Defining enlightenment as an experience is a quagmire from which few escape.

However, if one defines enlightenment as knowledge, clarity can be found. Knowledge of water as H2O, for example, is hard and fast knowledge. It is a repeatable understanding. This is knowledge that can be transmitted.

Enlightenment is reachable with knowledge. The knowledge of enlightenment can be taught, and the means of transmitting that knowledge has been been around for a long time. It is relatively unknown, however, due to the fact that many have only partial knowledge, and they teach experience in which we are captivated. We are then caught in chasing spiritual experiences.

Most of us who become seekers readily find liturature tauting experiential stories that appear to be profound. They are intriguing, mystical, and utterly fascinating. But searching for enlightenment in these murky waters is a crap shoot. You'll be very lucky to find enlightenment through experiences. They are too varied.

Mind you, I am not against experiences. They can be a motivating force, but they are not the goal. The goal is not an experience. It is a knowledge that has to be gained, and you are unlikely to get this knowledge from anyone teaching experience.

We are hard wired into duality. The body is discovered and as experience with the body advances, the protective mechanism of the ego develops and takes on the position of "I." But the bodily experiences that become the "I" are a story appearing in consciousness. A story that is tragic, or wonderful, but usually both. The "I" becomes the defacto me which then struggles its way through life.

But the story we create is a small piece of the picture. If we do well in the picture we accept our interpretation of experience as correct. If our experience of our story is tragic, we may question our assumptions. This sometimes turns out to be a good turn of events, though until we have a deeper knowledge, we may not appreciate this fact.

Although we are hard wired to develop an ego, and it does serve us in manipulating our way in the manifested world, it is not true knowledge. Experience tells us that the sun comes and goes, but in fact it does not. Neither does the world drop off at the horizon.

Everything that we see is manifested. It appears to be as we see it. It takes deep questioning to peer beneath the surface. Truly examining what is manifested is difficult. In fact, it is almost impossible without a true teaching which conveys the knowledge of non duality.

A true teaching will therefore, not try to lead you to experience something. A true teaching will have a means of transferring the knowledge. The teaching will need a full and complete series of understandings to bring you to the final truth. That is what Advaita Vedanta is.

Contemplation, and risking your well ordered understanding of "How things are," will be necessary. For what you assume to be true, your perception of reality, may in fact be ignorance. So, the difficulty is obvious. Who is willing to examine their ignorance? It is unsettling to say the least.

To come to the conclusion that duality is an illusory perception of our being is not a walk in the park. It takes open mindedness, and risk taking. The trek may entail letting ones fears be what they are, and yet pursuing the truth anyway.

You might say that pursuing truth, which equates to freedom, has to be a burning desire for which you are willing to risk everything. That everything, boils down to risking yourself, as you see yourself, into an understanding which reduces that self to an insignificance. Who is going to pursue that?

I am just trying to save you time. I pursued enlightenment for 40 years. Knowing nothing better than what I read, I thought I had to have a particular experience, and then I would know. But that is not the way it works. it didn't work for me.

I had plenty of spiritual, mystical, mind blowing experiences. But experiences come and go, and they are not easily, if ever, repeatable. After some of these experiences, life itself became meaningless in comparison to the experiences that had receded.

Eventually I learned that enlightenment was not an experience, but a knowing, an understanding. That understanding, when pursued, does lead to enlightenment. That understanding is actually very simple. All is one. All is simply forms of appearance in awareness.

This understanding leaves you standing alone as all that is. Simple, direct knowing. This understanding relieves you of seeking experiences. It frees you of feeling that you need just one more mystical experience to convince you that you are enlightened.

Advaita Vedanta has the means to teach this knowledge. If you avail yourself of this knowledge, you will come to understanding. With the understanding, your search will be over. Then you are free.