"...I wanted to cry with joy and just lay with him in the bed and stay that way for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing, thinking nothing, just loving him and becoming nothing but one nothing inside another nothing and that nothing not bothering with anything."
~ Denise Chavez ~ from her novel Loving Pedro Infante.
I like light reading sometimes, especially if it's funny, raw, and well written. Escaping into this novel, I was surprised to run across the lines above. Who doesn't know this? Who hasn't experienced the above when madly in love.
What this tells me is that we DO know this. We just don't stay there. This is what enlightenment is all about, that merging into nothingness. Nisargadatta stated that "When I am nothing, then I am everything."
When it comes to enlightenment, at the end, one finally admits that "I can't do this." Perhaps this is getting close. It doesn't mean you don't want enlightenment. It doesn't mean your longing has ceased. I just means that you know YOU can't do it. You can't remain an individual separate self and do this.
The only thing left to do is pray, and that prayer goes something like this, "Lord, you know I want this, don't want to live without this, but I can't do it. I know I can't do it. Lord have mercy on me and take me there, into that nothing that is everything where I can be at peace."
Peace is only in the oneness that is everything. Since that is the natural state, it is not too much to ask. But you really have to want it, and you have to know that you as a person, a mind, can't do it, can't go there. Give it up.
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