Why are all the logical proofs of nonduality necessary for some, and yet for others, looking at a flower is proof enough.
It amazes me that a particular teacher's logic, that satisfies their mind as to the absoluteness of nonduality, does nothing for me. Leaves me cold.
And yet, for me, the fact of absolute nonduality is just as real. It was for me an intuitive knowing, here since childhood.
It was however, also true, that the knowing was outside the purview of mind. And the mind, as we know, is a stubborn child. It wants proof! So all my searching was to satisfy the mind, that the intuitive knowing was correct.
The drive to satisfy the mind as to what I already knew, drove the search. If that knowing had not been there, what would have driven such a cursed and painful pursuit?
The mind wants to know, to understand and accept, what intuitively, is already known. Without that intuition, there never would have been a search.
What profound insights the search unveiled, trying to help the mind come to terms with what was already known. Granted, the knowing was via some other mechanism -- intuition, which the mind has trouble accepting. Intuition is to the mind, a stubborn and unruly child.
So the intuitive knowing drives the mind, sometimes literally, outside and beside itself. The pain can be immense, for the mind does not easily come into agreement with intuition. Mind, literally must take itself apart. Push itself to the limit, and beyond.
In the process, this bodymind, experienced mystical unitive states of absolute knowing, that the mind could not deny. The absoluteness and authority of the knowing was unquestionable. Yet the mind still wanted to know in it's own way. Over many years, the mind relaxed, Knowing that it could not have proof the way it preferred.
Currently, the knowing is here. Yet I cannot prove it logically, even to myself. Neither can another's logic prove it to me. But the knowing is here.
Listening to the proofs of other's is laughable. Not to deny the fact that such logic may help others by bringing into question their own limited perceptions and positions.
Just for fun, because that is what this is for me now, let me lay down the closest thing to logic that satisfies this particular bodymind regarding nonduality.
All I need, for knowing the fact of nonduality, is that I didn't make myself. This bodymind is a created object, not unlike all the other bodymind objects. Those objects outside of me did not create themselves either.
Logically, I cannot say that awareness and consciousness are in this bodymind individually or exclusively. Other bodyminds speak to me of their perceptions, their awareness too. We can agree on much, such as a chair being in the room, or the sound of a dog barking.
So awareness and consciousness are not exclusive to me. The only aspect of the field that is exclusive to me, is my interpretation of what is perceived. A story so to speak. My story. But you also have a story.
The common denominator of my consciousness and other's, is awareness. I can see that as created objects, my bodymind and other bodyminds are participants only. Awareness is common to all, impersonal. The personal is only an interpretation.
Awareness is impersonal. Consciousness is just the personalized aspect of it. I partake, as do you. And also the cat, the dog, the sheep and the donkey.
A second proof for me, is to simply look at a flower. The shear amazement that it exists, as it does, and that I see it, is enough. The beauty of it does not allow me to deny the power, the creativity, the absolute authority, of the beingness behind it.
The proofs above do it for me. But they are really just aperitifs for the mind. Not really necessary to the truth. Intuitive knowing is, and was, already there. The mind just needed to be massaged and put to bed.