Awareness is, everything else is Maya. No one knows this but awareness. Awareness has no perspective. It accepts all appearances without exception, without judgment. This is love.Awareness is not an object. Not graspable by a supposed person. Is all that is. Is now, without beginning, without end. Never born, never dies. There is no enlightened person. Understanding knows this. So it is. This is it.
This appearance sought itself for 40 years. There was no self to be found. How does an appearance find itself? It can't. Finally, this appearance was asked to look for itself. There was persistence in the demand. The assumption seemed unassailable, but the appearance did look, and found that it was nowhere.
Asking an apparent self to look for itself, feels absurd. Like asking if water is wet. However absurd, however unbelievable looking was done. No self was found. The assumption of I is, but cannot be found. So it is.
Awareness is all there is, and everywhere has no location.
The end game is looking and finding no one there.
The Final Teacher
This appearance found it's final teacher on the Internet. His name was Charlie Hayes. His site is http://www.theeternalstate.org/. After watching his videos and appreciating the simplicity and directness of the pointing, it became clear that this appearance would be calling him. Why? Who knows? It just seemed apparent that this would happen. There was an inevitability about it. Synchronistically, I had a week of vacation coming up. On 3/26/2008, I called Charlie.
Charlie's conversation with me was very blunt, to the point, with no way out. He offered no hope. That's what the ego needs to hear to give up - "no hope."
Letters To My Teacher
Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 11:29 AM
Well. All I can say is it' just simply obvious. 5 thousand books can be thrown out. Actually it's all pretty funny isn't it. Nothing I can do. What is, is.
Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 1:29 PM
subject Re: Awareness
No perspective. Isn't going anywhere. Doesn't care. On with the show!
Fri, Mar 28, 2008
Well, Mr. President is still here, thrashing around, mumbling that he never should have looked behind the curtain - no one was there. I just want to thank you for staying after my appearance in our conversation and NOT letting me escape the "obvious."
It is seen now that everything I knew, I only knew intellectually. There was clarity intellectually (worthless). As you know, it amounted to nothing, because I had made AWARENESS into an object. What needed to happen was for AWARENESS to become aware of itself as Primary, and everything that followed to be seen as appearance. What you did in our phone conversation, was force the appearance out of the front position, so that AWARENESS recognized itself as primary.
Since our conversation I went back to a John Wheeler book I had "Awakening to the Natural State," just to see what had been missed before. Actually, I had rejected Wheeler's book because I thought it was too simple. Now it's ALL just too simple. It's amazing how a simple understanding, clarifies volumes of words and concepts. It is almost ridiculous how much can be said trying to convey this simple understanding.
In watching your videos, I can see that what was was beneficial was the repetition. What is being pointed out is so obvious, and had been overlooked for so long, the obviousness was completely overlooked. What you did for this appearance was to turn off the light so this appearance couldn't chase it's tail any more. The difference between an intellectual understanding and AWARENESS noticing itself is incredible. Reminds one of the statement that "Heaven and Hell are an inch apart."
What was also helpful, was that somehow this appearance was able to let go of expectations. There were all these conditions, conscious and unconscious, about, well, if this happened, there would be new suns in the sky, mountains would be piles of diamonds, you name it. Actually, it was more like, Oh, this, always here, always has been, always will be. Oh. Nothing is different except nothing is happening to me.
When Mr. President dies, I will be there watching. No big deal.
So many "so called teachers" would have been sweet and nice and led me down the path of continued seeking. Thanks for not doing that.
Thanks again for being tough with this appearance. Only a fool who wanted to be done with this would have called you. Glad I did.
What do you do with this? Nothing.
Without knowing it, I've always only been nothing (no thing). This is really a surprise to see! And it's very strange because it doesn't really change anything. Everything I thought I was doing was being done by no one. All the struggle, all the grief, happened, and yet I am here to say it didn't happen to me.
I see from a billion perspectives, but none are mine. They appear in me. They disappear in me. A parade of passions. A book of thoughts. A charade of posses on main street, and back streets. All are equally mine, never owned, never denied. What a grand parade it is!
From the mountains to the valleys, I scream, I cry, I call, I answer. Yet all is peaceful, ever still. The view from here is always available. All this cacophony and yet nothing ever happens. A dream going nowhere. Ever full, ever vibrant, teaming, swarming, dancing. A dream seen by no one.
Once seen, nothing can be done about it. It is what is prior to any appearance. It is what is after all appearances. It depends on nothing. Doesn't need anything. Yet it is open to everything. How could every hair on your head not be counted by this? It couldn't appear without this!
There is knowing and there is no-ing. There's less ignorance in no-ing. There is knowing appearing in this. So isn't this allowing presence true knowledge? So isn't true knowledge allowing? The barker takes the stage and announces, “Now this.! Now this ! Now this!” And now the clown comes on the stage and announces, “Leave anytime you like. This show never ends.”
So, realization is here. Does this bring ecstasy or joy to this person. Not at this moment. But this is OK. Why, because that is what is, and what is, is OK. This body-mind is in what I am. What I am is all that is. So how could this be not OK? If I am allows sorrow, then sorrow is acceptable. If I am allows joy, then joy is acceptable. Either way is irrelevant. I have allowed it to be.
Everything that appears must be in me. If it were not in me, how could I perceive it? Just as the body is in me and perceived, so any other form, sensation, thought or feeling, is in me. If I allow it, how can it not be OK? If I perceive it, can it be other than OK? If I am all that is, how can anything that appears not be OK? In this there is freedom.
This perceiving that all that is, is in me, and mine, brings peace. If it is, I allowed it. In being this allowing there is greater tolerance in the person for everything that happens. This body will be here as long as it is allowed. It will have good its good sensations, as well as aches and pains. The mind will have its joys and sorrows. All is OK as I allowed it. If there is resistance in the body-mind -- this too is allowed. Too allow everything is freedom. It is peace.
On Why Having a Teacher Who Knows is Important
Sometimes the last straw, the final hurdle, for the seeker is the need for permission. The seeker gave up the original source in childhood to cope and fit in - giving itself away to authority. There may be a very strong sense that seeing is close, but the one inch step to seeing is held in check. That is when a teacher who wants nothing from you, but only wants you to see, can be very beneficial. It is the force of the teacher's direct knowing, and convincing authority, that may allow the seeker to finally take the step he knows is needed. And after the step, the seeker realizes that he didn't take a step at all. He was waiting for himself on the other side.
Ignorance Walking Around
Ignorance is walking around all over the place, appearing as this and that. Human appearance does on rare occasions step out of ignorance into awareness. There is no reason for this, but it does happen. This happening does not have a path, as there are no paths to nowhere.
Methods may be provided, but all are tentative -- pointers only. The method already is in that which is. Why a certain appearance suddenly becomes awareness is not known. What appears to be the how is only an afterthought. Intent, strong enough to destroy the seeker is needed. And where is that intent? In awareness. Pathless intent. How paradoxical is that!
It is a false premise for anyone to assume that they have wasted their time, unawake. Any appearance whether a seeker or finder, already is only this awareness. Awareness has no time to waste. There is no time in awareness. Only the apparent seeker can feel he has wasted, or lost time. Once awake as awareness where was any time to have been lost?
When one says “I am liberated,” it doesn't mean that this body-mind is liberated. It means that as awareness I am free of body and mind. Body and mind appear in what I am.
Awareness Has NO Qualities
Qualities may arise in awareness but awareness itself has no qualities. Awareness is, everything after is a perceived quality – catness, dogness, humaness. Awareness is beyond the mind because it is prior to mind. It doesn't have an opinion about mind. It just is.
Any sage is aware of the duality of language. So if he is asked to speak on the subject, concepts that ascribe qualities must be used. Ideally those concepts point accurately to awareness. So one uses words such as, awareness is motionless, pointless, open. etc.. Any seeker is more likely to get beyond his mind trying to get at these qualities, than statements along the lines of how to be a better person. Understanding doesn't make a better person. Understanding is realizing there isn't a person to be better at anything. Even Jesus said, “Why call me good?”