That which is, is all that is, and has it's reasons, though I do not understand.
Hallelujah is all I can say to the Lord's perfection, which I don't understand.
The mystery is beyond what this mind can understand, yet the intuitive heart knows, hallelujah!
Faith is the only response to this, with no better expression than Hallelujah.
The victory is on my knees, in full submission, mouthing hallelujah!
Before this mystery, this masterful piece of oneness, nothing more than hallelujah satisfies.
Pride and arrogance are fallen in disgrace, tried and discarded as so much chaff.
Lord, have mercy on this soul in disgrace, while home is a hair's breadth away.
While the mind never knows the answers, yet my soul sings hallelujah.
My hands are tied, my knees are bent, my head is bowed, yet my heart sings but hallelujah.
School is almost over, nothing new was learned, but letting go.
Hallelujah tells the story that in the end nothing worked but surrender.
For surrender is the joining with that which is. Hallelujah!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Space
There is a vegetative nothingness here, silent, non thinking, non verbal. There is no need to think, no need to do, just this, whatever it is.
Now and then little ripples of "should" arise, "Shouldn't I this," or "Shouldn't I that." But there is no drive behind them -- dregs at the bottom of an empty barrel.
You can tap on the sides and hear the echo of emptiness. The vacuum resounds, and one can say nothing other than "So?"
It is all taken care of, whatever it is. Only what arises to be done will be done. Where that which is to be done arises from is unknown.
How does emptiness communicate? Seekers must go elsewhere to find barrels full -- full of words, full of wisdom, full of something to quench their thirst. It is not to be found here.
Less is more. The lesser grows, and more is more and more disinclined. Peace, restless, knowing nothing about its place in this busy world.
No place for labels to stick, to have their say and take hold. No place for all the doing that labeling wants to push along. No hold in this vacuum to grab.
Space is what is. Space, unending, in which all this passes. Space in which even these words are essentially meaningless. For words are parts, division, and an effort at pointing at what is undivided, whole, and timeless.
Now and then little ripples of "should" arise, "Shouldn't I this," or "Shouldn't I that." But there is no drive behind them -- dregs at the bottom of an empty barrel.
You can tap on the sides and hear the echo of emptiness. The vacuum resounds, and one can say nothing other than "So?"
It is all taken care of, whatever it is. Only what arises to be done will be done. Where that which is to be done arises from is unknown.
How does emptiness communicate? Seekers must go elsewhere to find barrels full -- full of words, full of wisdom, full of something to quench their thirst. It is not to be found here.
Less is more. The lesser grows, and more is more and more disinclined. Peace, restless, knowing nothing about its place in this busy world.
No place for labels to stick, to have their say and take hold. No place for all the doing that labeling wants to push along. No hold in this vacuum to grab.
Space is what is. Space, unending, in which all this passes. Space in which even these words are essentially meaningless. For words are parts, division, and an effort at pointing at what is undivided, whole, and timeless.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Refinements of Consciousness
The word food does not satisfy hunger, nor the word water satisfy thirst. Both are labels only. However, they are pointers to something that is more substantial, actual, and needed for our physical survival.
In the more subtle realms of consciousness, labels are also valid pointers. These, subtle levels, however abstract, may also be pointed to.
Consciousness cannot be denied as it is a basic truth. You are aware and conscious of I am. Yet it becomes a little more circumspect when we begin to refine our terms as to exactly what consciousness is, and how we might understand it better.
When I speak of levels of consciousness it is but a refinement, a tuner of sorts into the subtleness of consciousness. Perhaps a little harder to grasp, but no less real than consciousness itself.
If you are traveling from A to B, no point on the journey is better than another as regards the objective. Each point is but a position between the two.
Just as a landscape has points of perspective, so do the various levels of consciousness. In a landscape, one can point to a bend in the road, a ridge, or a particular view. Just so, in the field of consciousness, points of perspective can be seen, and depending on the definitions used, be labeled and described.
In the refinement of our description of levels of consciousness, perspective is a key. The levels are defined by perspective, including beliefs, attitudes, and positionalities.
The world which appears in consciousness is determined by the positionalities that create the perspective. Though the scale and the demarcation points may be arbitrary, based on how the scale and levels are defined, the labels applied will point to something just as real as consciousness itself.
The levels can be roughly defined as a movement from fear to love. All the corollary attitudes between the two can be laid out. And how the world appears at points on the scale can also be outlined.
Realization and Enlightenment are points on the journey. Different points to be sure, than earlier perspectives which may have included suffering. Perspectives and attitudes prior to enlightenment can then be compared to earlier positions. It is only the difference that allows one to say, "Ah, now things are better."
Consciousness is a continuum. It is not static. Realization and enlightenment are not static states, though many assume that is so. Realization may be a satori that progresses no further, but sometimes it may. Just so, enlightenment is not necessarily static either. It may or may not progress further. In some, there is a further deepening and expansion.
It is due to this continuum that the understanding of realization and enlightenment is confusing. People think that realization or enlightenment is a one shot deal, all inclusive, final. It is not. A cooked goose can be more or less well done, and certainly different in shape and size.
There is a level of consciousness which can be assigned to realization. There is a level of consciousness to which enlightenment may can be assigned. Not an absolute assignment, but certainly indicating a certain level of consciousness. Most would consider it a higher state, or level, than what we would call the normal human condition.
Yet even these, realization, enlightenment, are not carved in stone, static, or final, in the sense that no further revelation may occur. Further development, advancement in understanding may still occur. Sometimes it does.
Consciousness is on a journey. A glorious and messy journey. Call it the play of Lila, or the mess of samsara, most want better than worse, and peace over conflict and suffering.
It is not an error to consider consciousness as a continuum with various levels. We are participants at different different positions, or levels if you will. We call some things good, some bad. We name up and down. To ascribe levels to what we experience in consciousness is not a sin.
We who have sought enlightenment have to admit that it appeared to be a better state, or condition, than what we were in. At least considered it better, perhaps a higher state, and had it as a goal. Perhaps we called it a search for truth, knowing nothing of the term.
Whether seeking truth, or enlightenment, or ultimate peace, we found it more desirable than our present condition. So, for the purposes of pointing, for education, we can say that enlightenment is higher on the scale than misery.
However arbitrary the scale, positions may be ascribed and labels applied. Is not jealousy lower, and unconditional love higher?
Whether or not there is a goal in the Absolute, we in our participation, our journey, perceive higher and lower levels of consciousness. We appear to strive for higher ground. And though there is no Rx, and no path, we are all at different levels.
Food, water, or levels of consciousness, all are words, concepts, yet pointing to something. Levels of consciousness can be described, and labels applied. It's useful for pointing to the subtleties of consciousness. Isn't enlightenment itself a label?
In the more subtle realms of consciousness, labels are also valid pointers. These, subtle levels, however abstract, may also be pointed to.
Consciousness cannot be denied as it is a basic truth. You are aware and conscious of I am. Yet it becomes a little more circumspect when we begin to refine our terms as to exactly what consciousness is, and how we might understand it better.
When I speak of levels of consciousness it is but a refinement, a tuner of sorts into the subtleness of consciousness. Perhaps a little harder to grasp, but no less real than consciousness itself.
If you are traveling from A to B, no point on the journey is better than another as regards the objective. Each point is but a position between the two.
Just as a landscape has points of perspective, so do the various levels of consciousness. In a landscape, one can point to a bend in the road, a ridge, or a particular view. Just so, in the field of consciousness, points of perspective can be seen, and depending on the definitions used, be labeled and described.
In the refinement of our description of levels of consciousness, perspective is a key. The levels are defined by perspective, including beliefs, attitudes, and positionalities.
The world which appears in consciousness is determined by the positionalities that create the perspective. Though the scale and the demarcation points may be arbitrary, based on how the scale and levels are defined, the labels applied will point to something just as real as consciousness itself.
The levels can be roughly defined as a movement from fear to love. All the corollary attitudes between the two can be laid out. And how the world appears at points on the scale can also be outlined.
Realization and Enlightenment are points on the journey. Different points to be sure, than earlier perspectives which may have included suffering. Perspectives and attitudes prior to enlightenment can then be compared to earlier positions. It is only the difference that allows one to say, "Ah, now things are better."
Consciousness is a continuum. It is not static. Realization and enlightenment are not static states, though many assume that is so. Realization may be a satori that progresses no further, but sometimes it may. Just so, enlightenment is not necessarily static either. It may or may not progress further. In some, there is a further deepening and expansion.
It is due to this continuum that the understanding of realization and enlightenment is confusing. People think that realization or enlightenment is a one shot deal, all inclusive, final. It is not. A cooked goose can be more or less well done, and certainly different in shape and size.
There is a level of consciousness which can be assigned to realization. There is a level of consciousness to which enlightenment may can be assigned. Not an absolute assignment, but certainly indicating a certain level of consciousness. Most would consider it a higher state, or level, than what we would call the normal human condition.
Yet even these, realization, enlightenment, are not carved in stone, static, or final, in the sense that no further revelation may occur. Further development, advancement in understanding may still occur. Sometimes it does.
Consciousness is on a journey. A glorious and messy journey. Call it the play of Lila, or the mess of samsara, most want better than worse, and peace over conflict and suffering.
It is not an error to consider consciousness as a continuum with various levels. We are participants at different different positions, or levels if you will. We call some things good, some bad. We name up and down. To ascribe levels to what we experience in consciousness is not a sin.
We who have sought enlightenment have to admit that it appeared to be a better state, or condition, than what we were in. At least considered it better, perhaps a higher state, and had it as a goal. Perhaps we called it a search for truth, knowing nothing of the term.
Whether seeking truth, or enlightenment, or ultimate peace, we found it more desirable than our present condition. So, for the purposes of pointing, for education, we can say that enlightenment is higher on the scale than misery.
However arbitrary the scale, positions may be ascribed and labels applied. Is not jealousy lower, and unconditional love higher?
Whether or not there is a goal in the Absolute, we in our participation, our journey, perceive higher and lower levels of consciousness. We appear to strive for higher ground. And though there is no Rx, and no path, we are all at different levels.
Food, water, or levels of consciousness, all are words, concepts, yet pointing to something. Levels of consciousness can be described, and labels applied. It's useful for pointing to the subtleties of consciousness. Isn't enlightenment itself a label?
Saturday, November 21, 2009
A Quiet Mind
At some point projections end -- most of them, anyway. When they end, peace seems to reign -- stories don't get created, and rumination ceases. It's rather delightful. Some call it peace of mind.
I always thought it silly to try and develop a quiet mind. Somehow, I always knew that a quiet mind, like happiness, was the result of something else -- a side effect.
That something else isn't realization, because, after realization, there is still considerable unraveling to do.
Basically, getting rid of projections is the journey. Projections are 99% based on conditioning. It's what your ego believes can happen, might happen, or will happen. Some of it may be true, most of it is just a nightmare dream-scape.
There isn't some sudden realization that will give you peace of mind, although it may help. Realization shows other possibilities, other options. But then there is still work to do.
Years ago, I could walk into a room, and looking at the people in the room, automatically start myriad, dysfunctional, internal conversations. These internal discussions were based on how each person looked, how old they were, how they stood, etc.
The conversations would go something like this: Well, she's tall and good looking, she must be haughty, spoiled, and hasn't had to think or struggle much. She gets what she wants because she just happens to look good. So I wouldn't like her and there is no point in approaching her.
And that guy there, with the plaid shirt and yellow shorts -- is a likely golfer, and therefore has money, and is probably very conservative. He and I wouldn't have much in common, and tying to talk to him would be pointless.
Well, you get the drift. These automatic conversations were not something under my conscious control, but they certainly were tied to my fears, and therefore ego based. And this over active conflagration tore at me like a dog chasing it's tail.
After much therapy, and a lot of work, those types of stories, just died. I didn't try and stop them, they stopped because the buried fears, assumptions, suppositions and positions, were dropped. The pain that sustained them was felt and released.
Basically, all my shit was sustained by pain I didn't know was there, or rather, was afraid to feel. Unconscious pain was the driving force of my neurosis, and it was unconscious and out of control because it was repressed. The projection of it distorted my whole world.
At one point, the disjointed universe of my projections caused so much pain, that I found it worthwhile to go looking for the real pain. The source being inside, not out there.
I found a good teacher, and I trusted that whatever I was forced to feel -- to acknowledge, I could handle. It wasn't easy, but the amount of pain uncovered was beyond belief.
The result of that work, and much personal inquiry, is a quiet mind. Now I live in the peace. Unwanted internal conversations don't happen. Only what I am looking at, or doing, is what is going on. There are no internal discussions about it. There is freedom. The silence is deafening, and wonderful.
I always thought it silly to try and develop a quiet mind. Somehow, I always knew that a quiet mind, like happiness, was the result of something else -- a side effect.
That something else isn't realization, because, after realization, there is still considerable unraveling to do.
Basically, getting rid of projections is the journey. Projections are 99% based on conditioning. It's what your ego believes can happen, might happen, or will happen. Some of it may be true, most of it is just a nightmare dream-scape.
There isn't some sudden realization that will give you peace of mind, although it may help. Realization shows other possibilities, other options. But then there is still work to do.
Years ago, I could walk into a room, and looking at the people in the room, automatically start myriad, dysfunctional, internal conversations. These internal discussions were based on how each person looked, how old they were, how they stood, etc.
The conversations would go something like this: Well, she's tall and good looking, she must be haughty, spoiled, and hasn't had to think or struggle much. She gets what she wants because she just happens to look good. So I wouldn't like her and there is no point in approaching her.
And that guy there, with the plaid shirt and yellow shorts -- is a likely golfer, and therefore has money, and is probably very conservative. He and I wouldn't have much in common, and tying to talk to him would be pointless.
Well, you get the drift. These automatic conversations were not something under my conscious control, but they certainly were tied to my fears, and therefore ego based. And this over active conflagration tore at me like a dog chasing it's tail.
After much therapy, and a lot of work, those types of stories, just died. I didn't try and stop them, they stopped because the buried fears, assumptions, suppositions and positions, were dropped. The pain that sustained them was felt and released.
Basically, all my shit was sustained by pain I didn't know was there, or rather, was afraid to feel. Unconscious pain was the driving force of my neurosis, and it was unconscious and out of control because it was repressed. The projection of it distorted my whole world.
At one point, the disjointed universe of my projections caused so much pain, that I found it worthwhile to go looking for the real pain. The source being inside, not out there.
I found a good teacher, and I trusted that whatever I was forced to feel -- to acknowledge, I could handle. It wasn't easy, but the amount of pain uncovered was beyond belief.
The result of that work, and much personal inquiry, is a quiet mind. Now I live in the peace. Unwanted internal conversations don't happen. Only what I am looking at, or doing, is what is going on. There are no internal discussions about it. There is freedom. The silence is deafening, and wonderful.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Nondual Logical Proofs
Why are all the logical proofs of nonduality necessary for some, and yet for others, looking at a flower is proof enough.
It amazes me that a particular teacher's logic, that satisfies their mind as to the absoluteness of nonduality, does nothing for me. Leaves me cold.
And yet, for me, the fact of absolute nonduality is just as real. It was for me an intuitive knowing, here since childhood.
It was however, also true, that the knowing was outside the purview of mind. And the mind, as we know, is a stubborn child. It wants proof! So all my searching was to satisfy the mind, that the intuitive knowing was correct.
The drive to satisfy the mind as to what I already knew, drove the search. If that knowing had not been there, what would have driven such a cursed and painful pursuit?
The mind wants to know, to understand and accept, what intuitively, is already known. Without that intuition, there never would have been a search.
What profound insights the search unveiled, trying to help the mind come to terms with what was already known. Granted, the knowing was via some other mechanism -- intuition, which the mind has trouble accepting. Intuition is to the mind, a stubborn and unruly child.
So the intuitive knowing drives the mind, sometimes literally, outside and beside itself. The pain can be immense, for the mind does not easily come into agreement with intuition. Mind, literally must take itself apart. Push itself to the limit, and beyond.
In the process, this bodymind, experienced mystical unitive states of absolute knowing, that the mind could not deny. The absoluteness and authority of the knowing was unquestionable. Yet the mind still wanted to know in it's own way. Over many years, the mind relaxed, Knowing that it could not have proof the way it preferred.
Currently, the knowing is here. Yet I cannot prove it logically, even to myself. Neither can another's logic prove it to me. But the knowing is here.
Listening to the proofs of other's is laughable. Not to deny the fact that such logic may help others by bringing into question their own limited perceptions and positions.
Just for fun, because that is what this is for me now, let me lay down the closest thing to logic that satisfies this particular bodymind regarding nonduality.
All I need, for knowing the fact of nonduality, is that I didn't make myself. This bodymind is a created object, not unlike all the other bodymind objects. Those objects outside of me did not create themselves either.
Logically, I cannot say that awareness and consciousness are in this bodymind individually or exclusively. Other bodyminds speak to me of their perceptions, their awareness too. We can agree on much, such as a chair being in the room, or the sound of a dog barking.
So awareness and consciousness are not exclusive to me. The only aspect of the field that is exclusive to me, is my interpretation of what is perceived. A story so to speak. My story. But you also have a story.
The common denominator of my consciousness and other's, is awareness. I can see that as created objects, my bodymind and other bodyminds are participants only. Awareness is common to all, impersonal. The personal is only an interpretation.
Awareness is impersonal. Consciousness is just the personalized aspect of it. I partake, as do you. And also the cat, the dog, the sheep and the donkey.
A second proof for me, is to simply look at a flower. The shear amazement that it exists, as it does, and that I see it, is enough. The beauty of it does not allow me to deny the power, the creativity, the absolute authority, of the beingness behind it.
The proofs above do it for me. But they are really just aperitifs for the mind. Not really necessary to the truth. Intuitive knowing is, and was, already there. The mind just needed to be massaged and put to bed.
It amazes me that a particular teacher's logic, that satisfies their mind as to the absoluteness of nonduality, does nothing for me. Leaves me cold.
And yet, for me, the fact of absolute nonduality is just as real. It was for me an intuitive knowing, here since childhood.
It was however, also true, that the knowing was outside the purview of mind. And the mind, as we know, is a stubborn child. It wants proof! So all my searching was to satisfy the mind, that the intuitive knowing was correct.
The drive to satisfy the mind as to what I already knew, drove the search. If that knowing had not been there, what would have driven such a cursed and painful pursuit?
The mind wants to know, to understand and accept, what intuitively, is already known. Without that intuition, there never would have been a search.
What profound insights the search unveiled, trying to help the mind come to terms with what was already known. Granted, the knowing was via some other mechanism -- intuition, which the mind has trouble accepting. Intuition is to the mind, a stubborn and unruly child.
So the intuitive knowing drives the mind, sometimes literally, outside and beside itself. The pain can be immense, for the mind does not easily come into agreement with intuition. Mind, literally must take itself apart. Push itself to the limit, and beyond.
In the process, this bodymind, experienced mystical unitive states of absolute knowing, that the mind could not deny. The absoluteness and authority of the knowing was unquestionable. Yet the mind still wanted to know in it's own way. Over many years, the mind relaxed, Knowing that it could not have proof the way it preferred.
Currently, the knowing is here. Yet I cannot prove it logically, even to myself. Neither can another's logic prove it to me. But the knowing is here.
Listening to the proofs of other's is laughable. Not to deny the fact that such logic may help others by bringing into question their own limited perceptions and positions.
Just for fun, because that is what this is for me now, let me lay down the closest thing to logic that satisfies this particular bodymind regarding nonduality.
All I need, for knowing the fact of nonduality, is that I didn't make myself. This bodymind is a created object, not unlike all the other bodymind objects. Those objects outside of me did not create themselves either.
Logically, I cannot say that awareness and consciousness are in this bodymind individually or exclusively. Other bodyminds speak to me of their perceptions, their awareness too. We can agree on much, such as a chair being in the room, or the sound of a dog barking.
So awareness and consciousness are not exclusive to me. The only aspect of the field that is exclusive to me, is my interpretation of what is perceived. A story so to speak. My story. But you also have a story.
The common denominator of my consciousness and other's, is awareness. I can see that as created objects, my bodymind and other bodyminds are participants only. Awareness is common to all, impersonal. The personal is only an interpretation.
Awareness is impersonal. Consciousness is just the personalized aspect of it. I partake, as do you. And also the cat, the dog, the sheep and the donkey.
A second proof for me, is to simply look at a flower. The shear amazement that it exists, as it does, and that I see it, is enough. The beauty of it does not allow me to deny the power, the creativity, the absolute authority, of the beingness behind it.
The proofs above do it for me. But they are really just aperitifs for the mind. Not really necessary to the truth. Intuitive knowing is, and was, already there. The mind just needed to be massaged and put to bed.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Five Thousand Fingers
Five thousand fingers pointing to the moon, each in a different direction. If you stood them all together, it would look like a waving field of grain. The only place they could be pointing, would be everywhere. Including exactly right here.
Best to keep your own head, for those that would like to chop it off are a dime a dozen. Spiritual naiveté is no excuse. Best place no head above your own.
When you follow out of resonance, be sure to realize that it was your decision. No one drags you to the end of any particular finger. If it's the middle finger, best take the hit, you did it to yourself.
Guru worship is a sin. When you follow, follow what resonates within yourself. Place yourself in the top position so you can only blame yourself. Wolves in sheep clothing come a dime a dozen.
So many fingers waving in the sun, pointing to the top of the mountain, but the Zen you find up there is what you carried with you.
So many fingers pointing to the moon, each to it's own antenna, make for dangerous traveling. Find your own finger, your own antenna. Keep on your toes until you collapse from finger following into your own deep well.
Keep in mind that when you get there, you will see that there was nowhere to get, only what you overlooked.
Best to keep your own head, for those that would like to chop it off are a dime a dozen. Spiritual naiveté is no excuse. Best place no head above your own.
When you follow out of resonance, be sure to realize that it was your decision. No one drags you to the end of any particular finger. If it's the middle finger, best take the hit, you did it to yourself.
Guru worship is a sin. When you follow, follow what resonates within yourself. Place yourself in the top position so you can only blame yourself. Wolves in sheep clothing come a dime a dozen.
So many fingers waving in the sun, pointing to the top of the mountain, but the Zen you find up there is what you carried with you.
So many fingers pointing to the moon, each to it's own antenna, make for dangerous traveling. Find your own finger, your own antenna. Keep on your toes until you collapse from finger following into your own deep well.
Keep in mind that when you get there, you will see that there was nowhere to get, only what you overlooked.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Prism Breakout
Who among us really sees what is? We are too busy with our stories, too embedded in our positions, our own prism of light. Our light is broken, parted, placing the whole in shadows.
We see content only, selected content. We see only through our personal light. Like rose colored glasses. It reflects only our story, in our selected light.
We do not see the big picture with the whole spectrum of light. We are out of context, separated, seeking to make the world conform.
The true picture is hidden in the colors we do not see. We demand the world come to us in our version of light. So we are lost, alienated from the whole. It won't conform. We claim the world has left us all alone, abandoned, strangers in a strange land.
But it is we who insist on our own personal view. It is our own narcissistic demand that alienates. It is we who have abandoned the whole, preferring to see it our way. It is we ourselves who have refused to see without judgment, without condemnation.
What is, is. If we would look at the world as it is, without our positions, allowing the whole spectrum of light, we might see something different. If we allowed the whole context, in which we are only a small part, to come into view, we might find ourselves embraced.
We see content only, selected content. We see only through our personal light. Like rose colored glasses. It reflects only our story, in our selected light.
We do not see the big picture with the whole spectrum of light. We are out of context, separated, seeking to make the world conform.
The true picture is hidden in the colors we do not see. We demand the world come to us in our version of light. So we are lost, alienated from the whole. It won't conform. We claim the world has left us all alone, abandoned, strangers in a strange land.
But it is we who insist on our own personal view. It is our own narcissistic demand that alienates. It is we who have abandoned the whole, preferring to see it our way. It is we ourselves who have refused to see without judgment, without condemnation.
What is, is. If we would look at the world as it is, without our positions, allowing the whole spectrum of light, we might see something different. If we allowed the whole context, in which we are only a small part, to come into view, we might find ourselves embraced.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Between the Lines
I like the deep, profound thoughts of solitary men, because they point best beyond themselves. Like poetry that uses few words, and re-arranges them so the shock takes you beyond them.
Oh yes, this is it! But, who shall point to it with ordinary words? That which is beyond the words, ineffable, is waiting for you to stumble off them, and fall between the lines. There, in that empty space is everything.
Oh yes, this is it! But, who shall point to it with ordinary words? That which is beyond the words, ineffable, is waiting for you to stumble off them, and fall between the lines. There, in that empty space is everything.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Karma or Choice
We are not here for our own individual purposes. All you have done is discovered that you are here. Granted, that makes you innocent.
However, if you are a soul who travels in and out of body life cycles, perhaps you are bringing unknown Karma with you? Your innocence may be mistaken.
Did you arrive trailing clouds of glory, with a little Karmic inheritance to fulfill? Perhaps an unknown agenda to live out? There may be choices to be made, a range that expands or constricts, depending on what you do.
Do you fall into temptation, or do you strive for some inner knowing? Do you hesitate? Or do you reach toward the light? Is seeking really a curse, or is it a choice you made, to claw and scrape beneath the surface?
On what grounds can you defend your seeking? Hasn't all your seeking been a response to this? Have you been driving or has it been driving you?
Intuitively you know your agenda is unique. It has informed your entire life. Your uniqueness is more than genes, more than nurture.
Your seeking pivots on an unknown source. The fulcrum is somewhere out of sight. But it drives you. Somewhere, deep inside, you know you chose it.
However, if you are a soul who travels in and out of body life cycles, perhaps you are bringing unknown Karma with you? Your innocence may be mistaken.
Did you arrive trailing clouds of glory, with a little Karmic inheritance to fulfill? Perhaps an unknown agenda to live out? There may be choices to be made, a range that expands or constricts, depending on what you do.
Do you fall into temptation, or do you strive for some inner knowing? Do you hesitate? Or do you reach toward the light? Is seeking really a curse, or is it a choice you made, to claw and scrape beneath the surface?
On what grounds can you defend your seeking? Hasn't all your seeking been a response to this? Have you been driving or has it been driving you?
Intuitively you know your agenda is unique. It has informed your entire life. Your uniqueness is more than genes, more than nurture.
Your seeking pivots on an unknown source. The fulcrum is somewhere out of sight. But it drives you. Somewhere, deep inside, you know you chose it.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Language, Symbols, Words
What is language that we should pay it any mind? Language gives us the ability to step outside ourselves, to observe ourselves, to become the observer.
It is due to this ability, our naming, our symbols, that we step outside ourselves and know time, know eternity, know death.
It is this ability which gives us our greatest joy, our greatest sorrow. It is this ability, thinking, that was our fall in the Garden of Eden.
But this was a necessary fall, necessary for consciousness to know itself.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1
or
In the beginning was consciousness, and the Word was consciousness, and consciousness was God.
It is due to this ability, our naming, our symbols, that we step outside ourselves and know time, know eternity, know death.
It is this ability which gives us our greatest joy, our greatest sorrow. It is this ability, thinking, that was our fall in the Garden of Eden.
But this was a necessary fall, necessary for consciousness to know itself.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1
or
In the beginning was consciousness, and the Word was consciousness, and consciousness was God.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Ocean
Waves arise on the ocean,
traveling they know not where.
Waves arise on the ocean,
traveling near and far.
Waves arise and fall,
collapse and merge.
The lighthouse is steady
on the shore.
The light shines for
one and all.
Waves are moving on the Ocean.
All are going home.
Each has its journey unplanned,
back to the sea.
traveling they know not where.
Waves arise on the ocean,
traveling near and far.
Waves arise and fall,
collapse and merge.
The lighthouse is steady
on the shore.
The light shines for
one and all.
Waves are moving on the Ocean.
All are going home.
Each has its journey unplanned,
back to the sea.
One
One and one is two,
in the linear world.
One and one is ONE,
in the nonlinear world.
One and many are multiple
in the linear world.
One and many is a field of ONE,
in the nonlinear world.
The world of ONE is full of ones.
One and one and one are ONE.
in the linear world.
One and one is ONE,
in the nonlinear world.
One and many are multiple
in the linear world.
One and many is a field of ONE,
in the nonlinear world.
The world of ONE is full of ones.
One and one and one are ONE.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Unbidden, Freedom Came Knocking
Unbidden, freedom came knocking. Just walking into the kitchen, taking a break from writing, simple freedom came walking too. It walked right in and sat down, easily.
The freedom was noticed, lightly, just here. It was breezy. It didn't need to do anything. It had no agenda. Ah, so easy to go with it.
The feeling is simple, and simplifies everything. Freedom is free, and it is not out there. It is here, right here. It doesn't bind the personality, it sets it free.
I don't care if I'm enlightened or not. I don't care if I'm eternal or not. I don't care if what I write pisses someone off. I just don't care. It doesn't bother me that there are a lot of "I"s in this paragraph.
The untouchable I is free. It doesn't matter whether a teacher, friend or foe is angered. I am free of those sentiments, those judgments. I am free to contradict myself. And surely will.
If I feel separate I will play with it. If only One is here, I am that. The big play is on, just like the little play. The dance is all.
The freedom was noticed, lightly, just here. It was breezy. It didn't need to do anything. It had no agenda. Ah, so easy to go with it.
The feeling is simple, and simplifies everything. Freedom is free, and it is not out there. It is here, right here. It doesn't bind the personality, it sets it free.
I don't care if I'm enlightened or not. I don't care if I'm eternal or not. I don't care if what I write pisses someone off. I just don't care. It doesn't bother me that there are a lot of "I"s in this paragraph.
The untouchable I is free. It doesn't matter whether a teacher, friend or foe is angered. I am free of those sentiments, those judgments. I am free to contradict myself. And surely will.
If I feel separate I will play with it. If only One is here, I am that. The big play is on, just like the little play. The dance is all.
The Open Teacher
There are a lot of teachers out there that get one thing, and poof, they're off to the races. I can read, or listen to some, and yet, whatever it is, they don't have it. Many don't speak to me. Many don't have it for me. And some are dangerous. Not dangerous in a good way.
Speaking mildly, there are a lot of teachers out there that are full of crap. They had some experience, their ego grabbed it, they crowned themselves and set up shop. They can't see their ignorance, and neither can the naive student. Caveat Emptor!
Getting one thing doesn't make one enlightened. It's a little more subtle than that. I've said before, a couple whami satoris doesn't cut it. A bird with one wing can sit on a stool, but he can't fly.
A true teacher will have authority, but it will be tempered with humility. Look for a light heart. If they don't laugh, if they don't have a sense of humor, run for the hills!
I've woken up at night from a bad nightmare, but I've never been awake in a dream. In daylight, I'm pretty awake, and crap looks like crap. I avoid it.
There seem to be two major groups of Advaita, one group says you don't exist, the other group says you do. One group insists that you are nothing, have no freedom, and no choice. The other says we do exist and have the responsibility of growth.
One group tends to sees things rather simply, the other group seems more nuanced. The later group accepts that people do exist, that enlightened teachers exist, that there is Karma, and there is some freedom within Karma. There are teachers in both groups that ring true.
If all is one, it can be easily said that the individual does not exist, is nothing, a fleeting image at best. Being nothing, free from responsibility, appears to be quite liberating. This group celebrates no individual, no meaning, no purpose, no goal. Yet, can you trust a teacher who has no meaning, no responsibility, no goal? If neither he nor you exist, why bother?
In the day to day lives we lead, in this appearance, freedom has never been separated from responsibility. Is it different than above? Is "As above, so below," a myth? Go ahead, try being free without responsibility in this appearance. It won't last long.
Both groups can agree on oneness, unity, and eternity. It is the individual which poses the difference. Is the individual real or not? Does the individual have one appearance and merge into the One at death? Or does the individual have many lives, and limited choice due to Karma, and join the One as a soul after death?
If you read the stories and books on the near death experience, it becomes pretty clear that consciousness as an individual can and does exist outside the body.
My own brother, fell from a bridge one winter day, hit the river, broke through the ice and sank. He tells how he floated up the river bank looking at his body under the water. He began yelling at it, "If you don't move, you're dead."
He could see all around. He watched his buddies get out of the pickup truck, scramble down the bank, reach under the ice and pull his body out by the hair. When they dragged him back into the truck, suddenly he was back in the body, cold and shivering.
My voice mail from him said, "I drowned, but I'm alive." He was so amazed! I also work with a guy who was in a near fatal car wreck. He was revived in the emergency room. He too can speak about being out of the body, conscious, as an individual.
Of course, those without the experience, or without an open mind, can dismiss these as hallucinations. To dismiss these accounts they will use whatever suites them. This does not however prove NDE's invalid. Studies show that an out of the body experience does not change the person very much, but an NDE does.
I marvel at the complexity of life -- the creativity and outrageousness of it. So, although the simple answer is easier to grasp, the outrageous that rings true, seems more like what I see around me.
Since I appear to be here, and sense that I am is here, I don't deny it. Will I merge with the One after this life, or after many lives? Is there a progression of lives, and Karma to be dealt with, or not? The end result is the same. Eternity reigns. The One is.
Is this appearance as an individual a lie? Can I discount it with impunity? I admit I didn't create myself personally as an individual, so I must be part of a larger whole. A part, expressing a part of the whole, is still not separate.
Are their levels of consciousness? Levels of enlightenment? Can a teacher, like the rest of us get stuck on one idea? Are some teachers more open after awakening than others? Does growth stop in the teacher?
All of this today is to keep things clear. No one has all the answers. No one has the one answer pinned down. It is still up to the individual to determine what resonates. The truth will set you free, but only if you experience subjectively.
Speaking mildly, there are a lot of teachers out there that are full of crap. They had some experience, their ego grabbed it, they crowned themselves and set up shop. They can't see their ignorance, and neither can the naive student. Caveat Emptor!
Getting one thing doesn't make one enlightened. It's a little more subtle than that. I've said before, a couple whami satoris doesn't cut it. A bird with one wing can sit on a stool, but he can't fly.
A true teacher will have authority, but it will be tempered with humility. Look for a light heart. If they don't laugh, if they don't have a sense of humor, run for the hills!
I've woken up at night from a bad nightmare, but I've never been awake in a dream. In daylight, I'm pretty awake, and crap looks like crap. I avoid it.
There seem to be two major groups of Advaita, one group says you don't exist, the other group says you do. One group insists that you are nothing, have no freedom, and no choice. The other says we do exist and have the responsibility of growth.
One group tends to sees things rather simply, the other group seems more nuanced. The later group accepts that people do exist, that enlightened teachers exist, that there is Karma, and there is some freedom within Karma. There are teachers in both groups that ring true.
If all is one, it can be easily said that the individual does not exist, is nothing, a fleeting image at best. Being nothing, free from responsibility, appears to be quite liberating. This group celebrates no individual, no meaning, no purpose, no goal. Yet, can you trust a teacher who has no meaning, no responsibility, no goal? If neither he nor you exist, why bother?
In the day to day lives we lead, in this appearance, freedom has never been separated from responsibility. Is it different than above? Is "As above, so below," a myth? Go ahead, try being free without responsibility in this appearance. It won't last long.
Both groups can agree on oneness, unity, and eternity. It is the individual which poses the difference. Is the individual real or not? Does the individual have one appearance and merge into the One at death? Or does the individual have many lives, and limited choice due to Karma, and join the One as a soul after death?
If you read the stories and books on the near death experience, it becomes pretty clear that consciousness as an individual can and does exist outside the body.
My own brother, fell from a bridge one winter day, hit the river, broke through the ice and sank. He tells how he floated up the river bank looking at his body under the water. He began yelling at it, "If you don't move, you're dead."
He could see all around. He watched his buddies get out of the pickup truck, scramble down the bank, reach under the ice and pull his body out by the hair. When they dragged him back into the truck, suddenly he was back in the body, cold and shivering.
My voice mail from him said, "I drowned, but I'm alive." He was so amazed! I also work with a guy who was in a near fatal car wreck. He was revived in the emergency room. He too can speak about being out of the body, conscious, as an individual.
Of course, those without the experience, or without an open mind, can dismiss these as hallucinations. To dismiss these accounts they will use whatever suites them. This does not however prove NDE's invalid. Studies show that an out of the body experience does not change the person very much, but an NDE does.
I marvel at the complexity of life -- the creativity and outrageousness of it. So, although the simple answer is easier to grasp, the outrageous that rings true, seems more like what I see around me.
Since I appear to be here, and sense that I am is here, I don't deny it. Will I merge with the One after this life, or after many lives? Is there a progression of lives, and Karma to be dealt with, or not? The end result is the same. Eternity reigns. The One is.
Is this appearance as an individual a lie? Can I discount it with impunity? I admit I didn't create myself personally as an individual, so I must be part of a larger whole. A part, expressing a part of the whole, is still not separate.
Are their levels of consciousness? Levels of enlightenment? Can a teacher, like the rest of us get stuck on one idea? Are some teachers more open after awakening than others? Does growth stop in the teacher?
All of this today is to keep things clear. No one has all the answers. No one has the one answer pinned down. It is still up to the individual to determine what resonates. The truth will set you free, but only if you experience subjectively.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
What is Enlightenment?
Words are not adequate. They do not touch what is. Words cannot describe the experience of satori because they are too limited. They cannot describe enlightenment. But words can point. Some better than others. Presently, let me try and fail again.
In one satori, I realized that I had to let it go because there was no I there. No personal I. No Maury. It was an exquisite experience. The message received was that I was surrounded by absolute beauty, always had been, and always would be, whether I was aware of it or not. It was a clear message from absolute authority.
It was letting me know that after the experience, and the little I returned, that the beauty would still be there. It let me know that though the veil would return, and the beauty would be hidden, in truth it was there. In fact for weeks afterwards I cried at the beauty of many things. Yet, the beauty faded.
Currently, I am not as aware of beauty as I was during that satori. Have I lost something? Or have I just become habituated? I can recall the experience. But how does a personal I recall an experience in which there was no personal I? A conundrum to be sure.
Can we say that there is actually only One Subjective I? All other I's just emanations of that One? Can that Singular One, the One and Only I, not have an experience? Does the One have to have little ones to experience? My inclination is that the Great Subjective Single I, can and does experience itself.
When the little I dissolves into the Big One, there is only the Great Single I experiencing itself. Awareness becomes aware of itself. It experiences the little I as well, feeling the little I dissolve, feeling the absence of the little I's presence. It experiences the Oneness of itself.
All of this to say that enlightenment is not a satori or two. It is Awareness becoming aware of itself permanently. For a form, a person, to know itself as background, a manifestation only in the field of awareness, to know Awareness is the ground, the being, the Only One, that perhaps is enlightenment.
In one satori, I realized that I had to let it go because there was no I there. No personal I. No Maury. It was an exquisite experience. The message received was that I was surrounded by absolute beauty, always had been, and always would be, whether I was aware of it or not. It was a clear message from absolute authority.
It was letting me know that after the experience, and the little I returned, that the beauty would still be there. It let me know that though the veil would return, and the beauty would be hidden, in truth it was there. In fact for weeks afterwards I cried at the beauty of many things. Yet, the beauty faded.
Currently, I am not as aware of beauty as I was during that satori. Have I lost something? Or have I just become habituated? I can recall the experience. But how does a personal I recall an experience in which there was no personal I? A conundrum to be sure.
Can we say that there is actually only One Subjective I? All other I's just emanations of that One? Can that Singular One, the One and Only I, not have an experience? Does the One have to have little ones to experience? My inclination is that the Great Subjective Single I, can and does experience itself.
When the little I dissolves into the Big One, there is only the Great Single I experiencing itself. Awareness becomes aware of itself. It experiences the little I as well, feeling the little I dissolve, feeling the absence of the little I's presence. It experiences the Oneness of itself.
All of this to say that enlightenment is not a satori or two. It is Awareness becoming aware of itself permanently. For a form, a person, to know itself as background, a manifestation only in the field of awareness, to know Awareness is the ground, the being, the Only One, that perhaps is enlightenment.
Where Is One After Satori
After a satori or two, many think they are enlightened. Is that so? The Unitive Experience, which always comes unbidden, arrives like a tsunami with overflowing ecstasy, overpowering oneness, and explicit absolute authority. There is no desire, wish, or possibility of challenge.
Many a satori lasts for only seconds, yet in those seconds it is eternity which is known. It is eternity one knows. Sometimes the unitive effect lasts for days, and giving and receiving are the same word. One and another are not separate -- separate appearance, separate form, but not separate in reality.
Yet long or short, satori doesn't last. Does one or two of these make one enlightened? After one of these, does the ego come back and grab it, like a crown.
Are you now anointed? Does one place this experience in the ego's treasure chest and pronounce oneself, enlightened, teacher, knower?
And how does one live one's life when this satori, this experience dissipates? How does one live when the normal state returns? When in comparison, normal seems so much less. When normal has lost it's meaning. When it is pale in comparison, with no blood, no life, no truth.
It's like being an existentialist, yet knowing better. Like being in the wasteland, having tasted paradise. The taste of paradise, like a beacon, a lighthouse, known but not seen. There is nothing to grab.
Here and now, the field seems dull, slow, passable. But nothing in comparison to the taste. There is a waiting, a wondering. Why the taste? Why the knowing? One seems unnecessarily placed in the position of eating the cake and wanting it too. No middle ground. There was a taste, now only these dregs remain.
Untasted paradise leaves no measure for God. The existentialist may feel the hero. But when paradise has been tasted, there is a measure for God. Then what? This here, this now, so doesn't measure up.
Only trust remains. Trust in the unknown, trust in having known. Trust that Oneness is, though ungrasped. Only humility may reign, only submission, surrender, asking for revelation.
Many a satori lasts for only seconds, yet in those seconds it is eternity which is known. It is eternity one knows. Sometimes the unitive effect lasts for days, and giving and receiving are the same word. One and another are not separate -- separate appearance, separate form, but not separate in reality.
Yet long or short, satori doesn't last. Does one or two of these make one enlightened? After one of these, does the ego come back and grab it, like a crown.
Are you now anointed? Does one place this experience in the ego's treasure chest and pronounce oneself, enlightened, teacher, knower?
And how does one live one's life when this satori, this experience dissipates? How does one live when the normal state returns? When in comparison, normal seems so much less. When normal has lost it's meaning. When it is pale in comparison, with no blood, no life, no truth.
It's like being an existentialist, yet knowing better. Like being in the wasteland, having tasted paradise. The taste of paradise, like a beacon, a lighthouse, known but not seen. There is nothing to grab.
Here and now, the field seems dull, slow, passable. But nothing in comparison to the taste. There is a waiting, a wondering. Why the taste? Why the knowing? One seems unnecessarily placed in the position of eating the cake and wanting it too. No middle ground. There was a taste, now only these dregs remain.
Untasted paradise leaves no measure for God. The existentialist may feel the hero. But when paradise has been tasted, there is a measure for God. Then what? This here, this now, so doesn't measure up.
Only trust remains. Trust in the unknown, trust in having known. Trust that Oneness is, though ungrasped. Only humility may reign, only submission, surrender, asking for revelation.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Spiral Staircase
The spiral staircase goes round and round. Take two steps up and one step down. Take a rest now and then. The railing is there.
The earthquake is calling. You fall. In the darkness going down, you see light at the bottom of the shaft, and realize that in the tumult, your bearings were lost, and you are hurling up, not down.
You pop out the top, into the light. You have landed on solid ground. You look down the spiral staircase and notice that it is nothing but a shaft of light.
The earthquake is calling. You fall. In the darkness going down, you see light at the bottom of the shaft, and realize that in the tumult, your bearings were lost, and you are hurling up, not down.
You pop out the top, into the light. You have landed on solid ground. You look down the spiral staircase and notice that it is nothing but a shaft of light.
Mark Your Territory
Mark your territory, like a dog. Let yourself be sniffed out. Stand your ground. Bang your gong. Mark your spot.
Be king of the hill. Manipulate the field. Bribe the feeding tube. Smother your friends in flattery. Smile at your superiority.
Just know that the sticky web you have built is your own prison, and will soon begin to stink. You have turned yourself into a toy, a cartoon image.
So mark your territory well. The sooner the better. For only then will you discover that it doesn't satisfy. Only then will you take off wandering the pathless path, leaving no trace.
Be king of the hill. Manipulate the field. Bribe the feeding tube. Smother your friends in flattery. Smile at your superiority.
Just know that the sticky web you have built is your own prison, and will soon begin to stink. You have turned yourself into a toy, a cartoon image.
So mark your territory well. The sooner the better. For only then will you discover that it doesn't satisfy. Only then will you take off wandering the pathless path, leaving no trace.
Monday, August 31, 2009
The Sovereign Heart
You cannot be in service of an idea if your are in service to your heart. For the heart is beyond ideas, even good ideas. It knows what the mind can never grasp.
The full heart risks the mind, breaches its walls, and sets itself free. Love reigns, for the sovereign heart beats in all.
The full heart risks the mind, breaches its walls, and sets itself free. Love reigns, for the sovereign heart beats in all.