Sunday, April 27, 2008
This was a rather hard thing for me to take, for as most children, I wanted to become my own person, to do my own thinking, have my own mind. For me then, knowing my father to be brilliant, and having others tell me the same, I wondered how I could ever soar out from under his wings.
My father had only the best of intentions. But, he did not trust me or the other children to make good decisions. I felt, rightly or wrongly, that he wanted to control all my thoughts and feelings. The fact that he couldn't was stressful for him, and did not have good results for us.
His logic and ability to reason were so superior that I could never win an argument with him. I could sense that he was wrong, but I couldn't refute him intellectually. A big divide was created inside of me. On the one side, my father's righteousness and rightness, and on the other, my heart and what it told me.
This divide was further defined by my mother who was warm, loving, and who had a practical, heart-felt, intuition. And her practical warmth and intuition did me more good than all my father's reasoning. Would I have even survived without my mother's buffering softness?
So, without thinking about it, without even knowing what was happening, I developed an understanding, a knowing, that there was something truer, something greater than reason. This statement should not be construed in any manner to denigrate reason. It has its own power, and usefulness.
But, the point here is, that there is a limit to reason. It is limited to the linear world, good with form, useful for science, architecture, and engineering, etc. But, it cannot go into the non-linear formless place of spirit.
To enter spirit, one must leave the security of the linear and enter the formless nonlinear domain. Depending on reason alone, one might never see the other door, the one leading into the world of the undefinable, the world of essence.
So, when I began my spiritual journey, I already knew that there was something more than science, than logic, than linear domains. This allowed me to look into areas that looked foolish to others, even crazy.
Being a believer in worlds that science didn't know, I was an outsider. Even in the churches I was an outsider. As soon as there was a box, I couldn't fit in it. There was the Catholic box, the Baptist box, the Buddhist box. None fit.
So, I was a barefoot spiritual cowboy. I had no home, only the pull of the future, my destiny , to go beyond form. So here I am now, knowing something I cannot explain, a knowing beyond time, beyond space, beyond anything that can be packaged.
I am here, there, and everywhere. Nowhere you can define. Pointing only to that placeless place which is beyond time, outside of space, ineffable, and always so.
Friday, April 25, 2008
When Jesus said “I am the way the truth and the light,” he was not speaking of the personal man from Nazareth, he was speaking of himself as one with Source. The mistaken understanding of Jesus, as the "only son of God," has been the downfall of Western theology and the Westerner’s inability to see the nondual truth.
Our true Self is impersonal. Because we manifest from the universal Source, our true being is that Source. That source is one, and all is that One. Therefore there is only one subjective source in the universe. That Self which has manifested as the many, is not a personality, not a separated individual.
To know the true self removes us from our personal sense and merges us into the One Grand Impersonal Self. The Illusion of a separate self yields at last to the truth of Source. We are expressions of source.
In the Impersonal there is no use or need for words. There is a knowing, and yet no thought. It is a knowing prior to the intellect, prior to words. Only later, if asked, are words formed. They can never convey the whole truth. They serve as pointers only.
This is why there has been a very long tradition of the need for a teacher, a guru. And if one pays attention to the great teachers, one can frequently hear them express gratitude to their teacher for their realization. Sometimes expressed as "By the grace of my guru."
Of course, the teacher, the guru, does not take any such compliments personally, for he is Aware of the Impersonal Self --Awareness Itself.
Surrender is thus the best explanation I can come up with as to why one phone call to Charlie Hayes, put me over the edge.
Was I ripe, yes. Was I ready to surrender, yes. It was the intention of surrender and the action that followed, the call, that did me in. And so the tradition of surrender continues.
Below are two statements made by American teachers regarding this subject. The tradition, obviously is not simply one for the Far East. It seems to be universal, and applicable here in the West as well.
The Procedure Toward Awakening - by by Alfred Pulyan
The student realizes that "awakening" or "realization" will never come unless at least once the student has surrendered the "boss-concept" of ego or self, the idea that it is a Supreme Court in itself, self-sufficient, "Captain of My Soul" (as Henley boasts & poor Bertrand Russell squeaks after him) ---
Since the student is seeking to realize "that" to which he is subordinate, second-in-command, it is obvious he must lower his flag, admit his lower status, at some time.
The "Law of the Ladder - by Franklin Merrell-Wolff
The law of the ladder says that you can only learn from people one rung above you; you can only teach one rung below you. If you reach down too low, they pull you down by the hair of the head. They crucify you. And if you reach up too far, the guy on the second rung above looks like an idiot to you. You can't comprehend him.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
All the while I thought I was these things, who was there knowing that I believed them? Who was there feeling the results of those thoughts? Since there was awareness of all those positionalities, and now they are gone, who am I now?
I've been a series of persons. A little odd, me thinks. Was the real me ever any of those persons? Or can I even say persons?
Or, am I just Awareness. Pure, open space Awareness. Ever present, ever allowing, never judging, but feeling the results of those judgments.
The real me just lets concepts of a person come and go. If I follow them, I become a person and forget who I really am. Was I ever one of those persons, or was Awareness just allowing those apparent persons to be, as long as they wished to be?
Who will I be tomorrow? Only someone if I forget who I really am.
There is absolutely no need to get rid of desires as a path to realization. Once pure Awareness is recognized as one's own very Self, desires just begin to fall away on their own. There is no effort involved. In fact, trying to get rid of desires will only strengthen the ego and keep you on the treadmill longer.
Stick to the very basic pointers of the great sages: Socrates said, "Know thyself." Ramana Maharshi said, "Look for the source of the I." Nisargadatta said, "Stay with I am. Not this or that, just the sense of I am."
If you are even on the path to enlightenment, you will notice certain activities diminish. You will simply find certain activities just don't have the same appeal. Especially activities that take you away from the drive for internal time. Time alone for introspection just becomes more attractive.
This one learned a long time ago that one doesn't have to work at changing. What one needed was to increase awareness. That is all. The only sin any of us maintain is ignorance. Awareness is a light that when it shines in our dark spots, the shadows can be seen. More light and the shadows disappear.
When one realizes that one is Awareness itself, the resulting changes may be effortless. Effort may come in later when one has to make adjustments due to the effortless changes. More like cleanup duty.
Once Awareness is experienced as the self, there may be some tremendous effects, but there will be no you working on this -- no you thinking there are desires to be disengaged from.
Desires don't actually go away, they just lose their energy. When you are that which you have always been, and that which you will always be, what more could you need, or possibly get? It's the end of the road as far as gaining anything.
You go to do something that you used to do, and you realize the drive is just no longer there to pursue it. All that's left is what is needful, food, water, shelter. Fancy houses, fast cars, etc, are just nice if you have them, but not necessities.
So, what do you do now? All you can do is sit back and wait to see what happens. You may find that your energy just seems to remain internal. It doesn't project like it used to. Without the coloring of ego, there's a lot less to defend and less to uphold.
Once realization hits, it's like you sit back and watch as everything falls away. What you need isn't out there! You already are what you need.You wake up each day and count what has fallen away. This is how simplicity takes over and complexity diminishes. It's effortless, but it is noticed.
As the energy internalizes and goes out less and less, the world takes on more and more the feel of a dreamscape. It still needs to be dealt with, but the simplicity of that which is essential, is so visible, so clear, that all the rest is just a parade that one can't get involved with. You don't try and stay out of it, there's simply no energy to get involved with it, period.
What can you gain when you are already all that is? Nothing. You just remain as Being. You are the parade. You just play your part without effort, without resistance. You know you are not an individual doer. You are the doing of everything.
maury lee 4/24/08
Friday, April 18, 2008
As a child growing up in a religious household, holding one set of beliefs as sacred, and others sacrilegious, certain observations became apparent. Every so often, Time Magazine would have an article on religion in which a certain church would pronounce that such and such a doctrine had been revised, and the new doctrine was now X instead of Y.
As this went on over the years, it was observed that the established religions tended to follow society's changes, changing doctrine to accommodate where society had moved. Even to a child's mind, this began to undermine any belief in ecclesiastical authority.
And then, to observe this in one's own mind, was a shock. Not a gratifying insight, as this mind was just as guilty of pandering as the church. Seeing this was insightful, and painful, but the pandering continued. Despite the shortcomings, this one was, after all, a truth seeker. When he had the courage, he was brutally honest with himself.
The mind was rigid, but something here wanted truth. For there to be any possibility of truth, the mind had to open up, to stretch, so to speak. And yet the mind didn't want to decompose in an instant. The mind loved itself. It craved security.
So, a deal of sorts was struck. OK, there's this search for truth, and so we must stretch, but we're not going to reach too far, too fast. That was the deal. Accommodate the mind, but push it to a certain extent. Stretching and holding on became a way of suffering. Every seeker's story.
What was observed was that the body-mind would find itself in a book store, looking for a book that was close enough to the mind's current position to be read, but just enough further out, to cause a stretch. Of course this begs the question: Who was observing the mind doing this? Who saw the mind holding back? Who saw the mind stretching?
It occurred to the mind, that this process surely showed that in time, all positions currently held, would eventually be abandoned, and new ones put in place. Having observed this, the mental struggle could have been entirely abandoned. All concepts thrown out. The term "Opt Out," would describe the fastest route to freedom. But this wasn't chosen.
Alas, as minds are, just opting out seemed insane. Having nothing to stand on mentally was just too scary a prospect. So, the journey continued. Here, one should be reminded that there was an observer, and the mind was aware of the observer. But the mind just couldn't get a grasp on that one.
Reading J. Krishnamurti was certainly a mind blower, and a great stretch for this little mind. J.K. was always saying that "The observer is the observed." The mind loved the phrase, and knew it was important, but just couldn't get it.
There is sudden enlightenment, but it wasn't going to be that way for this tip toeing seeker. No, he had to drag it out for 40 years. Finally, after taking the mind apart, piece by piece, there was barely a limb to stand on.
Like the parable of the monk hanging on a limb over a precipice, destined to fall, this one had to make a choice. "Do I hang on for another few minutes, or do I reach out, grab the fruit, and a have a bite on the way down? I died, but I tasted the fruit.
maury lee 4/18/2008
The air is always there, under the wings, whenever opened. It doesn't go anywhere. Cannot be seen, yet it is always there. Wherever the bird is, there it is.
A bird soars from the ground to the broadening heights of sky, yet ask a bird about air, and he will say, "What's that?"
"It's what you fly on!"
"Oh, I don't know about that. I fly on my wings. See? I fly on these."
"But it's what's under you wings that lets you fly. Don't you see?"
"No, I don't see. There's nothing under my wings."
Awareness is like air. It's always there, always here, always everywhere. But who sees Awareness? We are like birds, living in Awareness, but only seeing our wings. We see the content, but not the context. Have you noticed?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
The seeker will die a seeker unless he finds, and to find is to loose all that you think you are. "Lose your life for my sake, and you shall have eternal life," was how Jesus put it.
How many years does it take the average seeker to figure out that he has to leave himself behind? How long before he packs his bags, throws them in the back of a truck, and dumps them off a cliff?
As Wei Wu Wei put it, "Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 per cent of everything you think, and of everything you do, is for yourself - and there isn't one."
Seeking is not just an Advaita disease, it's every seeker's ball and chain. Anyone reading this post can say "Been there. Done that."
An interviewer once asked an old lady living in the hollers of West Virginia what she had to say about living, having arrived at the age of ninety. She thought a minute, and said, "If you're born to hang, you ain't gonna drown, so let the big cat jump."
Now, I really like that quote. If this doesn't sum up realization, I don't know what does! Let me explain my take on this. This lady has observed a lot of life, and she knows damn well that people aren't as free as they think they are.
If one is destined by nature to live in such a way as to be hanged, for what you did, or what you didn't do, there's probably not much you can do about it. If that's your destiny, you certainly don't have to worry about drowning. Ain't gonna happen.
So, iff you're walking in the woods, and you see a big mountain lion about to jump, you can just calmly walk by because you ain't gonna die that way either. "Let the big cat jump."
But, there is another freedom hidden in this understanding. It is the understanding that you are not what you think you are! You are not a person, wrapped in a skin, stuck in a mind. In fact, you are freedom far beyond these apparent limitations.
You are beyond bondage or freedom. Beyond needing help of any kind. You are not a technical writer, a yoga teacher, a spiritual guru, you are awareness itself. You are an explosion of yourself! Expressing yourself in every possible way. A multitudinous manifestation of form.
So, did this seeker waste any time seeking? Not possible! Who did he think he was? Who was living this life? The little person I thought I was? No, beingness was just being what was happening. Happening happened to be seeking. So what.
From here there is nothing but freedom. Seeking didn't waste any of my time. There wasn't a me. Just a pile of thought. It's what happened to no one. So now there is seeing. Ah peace. Shall we go watch the parade?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Several of the students were complaining, "I don't get it." Suddenly, the door opened and a street person walked in. He was haggard, thin, in filthy clothes. When he adjusted to the light, he looked around the room and said, "I am hungry. I need food. "
The apparent teacher, reached for the pad by his chair, picked up a pencil and wrote, "Food," on the slip of paper. He handed it to the street person.
The hungry man looked at the note. Then he looked at the teacher, first quizzically, then angrily. "Is this a joke? I don't want this? I can't eat words? I want real food!" The man threw the paper on the floor, and stood there glaring at the teacher.
The teacher stared back, not saying a word. Suddenly, one of the students began to laugh, "Oh my God! There is seeing this!" Then several other students began to laugh. Some saying, "Oh, it's so obvious. Oh, so simple. There is seeing."
The tattered beggar started to laugh as well. One student took out his wallet, and gave the beggar all the bills it contained. "You don't know how much you have given me tonight. Thank you so much."
Then several other students opened their wallets or purse, and gave the beggar the money they had, saying "God bless you! You have no idea what you have just revealed!"
The beggar left, blissfully happy, wondering what had just happened.
The teacher and students sat in silent awareness for a long time before they went home.
Monday, April 14, 2008
When you begin the great Advaita inquiry, "Who am I?" it is a phrase that naturally feels right. Many have heard this instruction, and they've thought about it intellectually, but few have really looked. I mean REALLY looked!
It seems to dead end when no path is found. Inquirers give up when they get into the vague territory of this well known, but really challenging, simple question. J. Krishnamurti said, "Truth is a pathless land." How right he was! Looking for who, or what I am, is one of the most profound investigations an apparent person can do.
Needless to say actually pursuing this to the end seems to be the territory of very rare birds. The natural proclivity to believe long held assumptions is like a veil that protects this inquiry from going too deep. This is also why it is usually necessary to have a teacher, "One who knows," take a look with you.
For the rare bird that has looked into the bottom of the "I am" well, and not come back, "I am," looses some of its punch. Once one becomes acquainted with Awareness directly, as Awareness, "I am" no longer sits quite right.
What begins to feel right, without searching, without asking, is "Isness." Awareness Is. I is. I am NOT this or that! I is.
Isness has a sense of immediacy, of presence, of moment to moment. It is beyond nowness, as now implies a past and a future. Awareness is, such as it is.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
When you are that which Is, and only That, truly you are in a pathless land, a choiceless land, a land where free will and bondage have lost their meaning. You can only be spontaneous, for there is nothing to tell you what to do. You only do that which comes naturally. What you will do has already been decided. You, as a person, have nothing to do with that.
Did you choose to be a seeker? Did you choose to be a finder? No, you were chosen, and you were brought to finding. That's why it is called grace. It's why when one becomes that which is, there can only always be humility. How can you claim any thing as your own? You can only claim everything. And when you are everything, then you are love.
When you are the love that is everything, where is the need for a code of conduct? Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." The people listening took it as a code of conduct, but he was simply speaking from the nondual perspective. He was saying, "You are your neighbor, how could you not love yourself?"
maury lee 4/14/08
Friday, April 11, 2008
The body-mind no longer takes ownership. It belongs to Source alone, Awareness only.
Others will insist that you are still there, but the enlightened one knows they are mistaken. You will not argue, for peace only reigns. True seekers will come to you and ask, and only upon invitation will you speak.
The world is allowed to remain in ignorance. Only when asked will you share your disappearance. "Many are called, but few are chosen."
You have no followers, But those who seek will come. You know the seekers come not of their own accord. Their minds have been put in the tiger's mouth. There is no escape. They scream for help. Only then will you speak.
You want no believers, only those who discover for themselves. And when they have discovered they will leave. You may go out with them for tea and crumpets to say goodbye, but there is nowhere to go.
maury lee 4/11/08
When you perceive the rope as a snake, you have all kinds of reactions, fear, jumping, screaming, whatever your nature. When you "realize" it's just a rope, there is relaxation, the release of fear, no overreaction, no projection.
You may still trip over the rope. The apparent body remains, but that's just part of a story.
maury lee 4/11/08
Any new understanding can only already be in this. Abide as Awareness. Recognize yourself as Awareness. All effort is outside of Awareness. Be still and put to rest all thoughts of achieving.
Abiding in Awareness is the Great rest. All that happens, happens in this, is allowed in this, is welcomed by this. It itself is unmoved. Awareness does not flinch at what appears or disappears. When awareness recognizes itself, it knows only peace is possible. There is only this, observing and containing all. One field, one source, One IS.
When there is Awareness as Awareness, what more needs to be obtained? There is nothing left to do but watch what happens, including that which the self apparent body-mind appears to do. It all happens effortlessly for the one who abides as Awareness.
maury lee 4/10/08
maury lee 4/10/08
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Awakening is when the Absolute realizes itself in appearance. Or better yet, realizes itself as prior to the person. Maury, Jane or John, can say there is realization. But the appearance, Maury, Jane, John, cannot say they are realized, only that realization Is.
The appearance may talk about realization, but it is not a personal realization. Realization belongs only to the Absolute, even though the expression of it appears to come through the person.
The Maury appearance had many experiences: joy, bliss, oneness, ecstasy. Maury thought he had accomplished something. Maury thought that was realization. But the ecstasy faded. He wanted those experiences back. He actually thought he had realized and lost it. How to get it back?
Realization isn't blissful, poetic, orgasmic. Realization isn't an experience at all. It is completely impersonal, more like, "Oh, this, just this." It may be amazing in it's simplicity. Just ordinary. And ordinary becomes OK. The apparent person realizes he isn't special. He isn't even a person! Just this no-thing.
Awakening is the Absolute realizing itself. The apparent person is just the witness, who may then go blab on and on about it for the rest of his life. But do know, he knows it is not his life. Do know, he knows, he's not doing it. He's not doing anything.
And most of all he's not enlightened. He was just a lucky appearance, who by grace, was allowed a peek through a window, fell through and disappeared.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I went nowhere and found myself.
Not this body. Not this mind.
Just this nothing.
A very deep well, nowhere to be found.
Not here, not there,
Glad I found nowhere and found you there.
Why not stay here,
there's nowhere to go.
Oh, so silly this journey was,
from seeking to seeing.
I was nowhere, here already.
The I of the phantom still asks questions,
but when he looks in the mirror,
There's no one there.
To whom shall the reply come?
asks the phantom as he fades away.
Home at last. Home at last.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
If you are interested in seeing behind the curtain of self, of thought, of concepts, try this. Sit quietly in a chair. Where are you? How do you know where you are? Really look!
Notice that the only way you know you are in your house is because you have the concept house. You live on a street, and a sign says so -- the streets are labeled. How do you know you are in a chair? Because you have the concept chair. You were taught that concept. So now you know that the only way you know you are in your own home, in a chair, is because you have concepts and labels.
Now feel your body. Where is it? Without the labels of city, street, home, chair, where is your body? You don't really know, do you? All you really know is some pressure here, a warmth here, a twitch, an ache. You really have no arms, legs, or a head, without naming them, do you?
Now you don't know where your body is, neither do you know it's parts. Forget your name. It's just a label. Just sitting, do you know whether you are male or female?
Lastly, ask yourself, who is seeing all this? Who feels the pressure points, the warmth, the draft. Who hears the sounds? Is it really you? Do you know who you are? Or are there just sensations, perceptions, sounds, happening nowhere. All of this is actually happening to no one, nowhere. Just this field of Awareness open to all that appears. This is what you are. This thou art.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
The seeker asking this question is still stuck in the "I am the body" assumption. He believes that the Oneness is somehow a oneness of bodies, or bodyness. He has not yet discerned that the One that he is, is not physical, is not a thing.
All bodies and things appear in the One, but each is a singular focal point in the field of Awareness. Awareness is aware of each and every object in the field. Yet, any apparent body will feel it's own aches and pains, its own mental suffering. Why? Because each body unit has usurped awareness as its own. A fatal assumption! An nnocent mistake, but one that leads down every path to ignorance.
That which permits body units to apparently exist is aware of everything. It is the perceiving "No Thing" allowing everything. The One is aware when the seeker is poked, and when the neighbor is poked.
Once a seeker realizes that he is Awareness itself, and not the body, the question based on oneness of bodies subsides.
Most seekers, want to find a state for themselves that is blissful, orgasmic, or at minimum, peaceful. These desirable states are projected onto the guru/teacher, apparently separate from themselves, over there.
The problem with this is that there is no there. The guru / teacher is not separate. The seeker is never going to get what the guru has because the guru doesn't have it either. He's not there and you here.
Seekers want a state because it is something they understand. The appeal of a state is that it is somewhat permanent. The seeker desires a somewhat permanent state that is blissful, mystical, unitary, etc.. This is understandable, typical human behavior, but isn't what is being pointed to here.
The problem might be clarified if the seeker could see that what is being pointed to is not a state. Sometimes referred to as the "stateless state." What is, is prior to and beyond any state.
However long, a state has a beginning and an end. The stateless state is that within which any state, feeling, thought, object, universe appears. A state of mind, a state of bliss, a state of unity, is not that. The apparent seeker is a complex of multiple movable states, not any of which, or any new one, will satisfy.
When what is, is seen (noticed, awared, realized), the shock is -- that what one is, is not a person, not a thing, nothing that can be grasped or held. It certainly cannot become a state. It is prior to all states, contains all states, is prior to any seeker's mind. When this is seen, one is no longer a seeker, or a person! When seen It is obvious and unshakeable. It is a surprise!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Awareness is, everything else is Maya. No one knows this but awareness. Awareness has no perspective. It accepts all appearances without exception, without judgment. This is love.Awareness is not an object. Not graspable by a supposed person. Is all that is. Is now, without beginning, without end. Never born, never dies. There is no enlightened person. Understanding knows this. So it is. This is it.
This appearance sought itself for 40 years. There was no self to be found. How does an appearance find itself? It can't. Finally, this appearance was asked to look for itself. There was persistence in the demand. The assumption seemed unassailable, but the appearance did look, and found that it was nowhere.
Asking an apparent self to look for itself, feels absurd. Like asking if water is wet. However absurd, however unbelievable looking was done. No self was found. The assumption of I is, but cannot be found. So it is.
Awareness is all there is, and everywhere has no location.
The end game is looking and finding no one there.
The Final Teacher
This appearance found it's final teacher on the Internet. His name was Charlie Hayes. His site is http://www.theeternalstate.org/. After watching his videos and appreciating the simplicity and directness of the pointing, it became clear that this appearance would be calling him. Why? Who knows? It just seemed apparent that this would happen. There was an inevitability about it. Synchronistically, I had a week of vacation coming up. On 3/26/2008, I called Charlie.
Charlie's conversation with me was very blunt, to the point, with no way out. He offered no hope. That's what the ego needs to hear to give up - "no hope."
Letters To My Teacher
Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 11:29 AM
Well. All I can say is it' just simply obvious. 5 thousand books can be thrown out. Actually it's all pretty funny isn't it. Nothing I can do. What is, is.
Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 1:29 PM
subject Re: Awareness
No perspective. Isn't going anywhere. Doesn't care. On with the show!
Fri, Mar 28, 2008
Well, Mr. President is still here, thrashing around, mumbling that he never should have looked behind the curtain - no one was there. I just want to thank you for staying after my appearance in our conversation and NOT letting me escape the "obvious."
It is seen now that everything I knew, I only knew intellectually. There was clarity intellectually (worthless). As you know, it amounted to nothing, because I had made AWARENESS into an object. What needed to happen was for AWARENESS to become aware of itself as Primary, and everything that followed to be seen as appearance. What you did in our phone conversation, was force the appearance out of the front position, so that AWARENESS recognized itself as primary.
Since our conversation I went back to a John Wheeler book I had "Awakening to the Natural State," just to see what had been missed before. Actually, I had rejected Wheeler's book because I thought it was too simple. Now it's ALL just too simple. It's amazing how a simple understanding, clarifies volumes of words and concepts. It is almost ridiculous how much can be said trying to convey this simple understanding.
In watching your videos, I can see that what was was beneficial was the repetition. What is being pointed out is so obvious, and had been overlooked for so long, the obviousness was completely overlooked. What you did for this appearance was to turn off the light so this appearance couldn't chase it's tail any more. The difference between an intellectual understanding and AWARENESS noticing itself is incredible. Reminds one of the statement that "Heaven and Hell are an inch apart."
What was also helpful, was that somehow this appearance was able to let go of expectations. There were all these conditions, conscious and unconscious, about, well, if this happened, there would be new suns in the sky, mountains would be piles of diamonds, you name it. Actually, it was more like, Oh, this, always here, always has been, always will be. Oh. Nothing is different except nothing is happening to me.
When Mr. President dies, I will be there watching. No big deal.
So many "so called teachers" would have been sweet and nice and led me down the path of continued seeking. Thanks for not doing that.
Thanks again for being tough with this appearance. Only a fool who wanted to be done with this would have called you. Glad I did.
What do you do with this? Nothing.
Without knowing it, I've always only been nothing (no thing). This is really a surprise to see! And it's very strange because it doesn't really change anything. Everything I thought I was doing was being done by no one. All the struggle, all the grief, happened, and yet I am here to say it didn't happen to me.
I see from a billion perspectives, but none are mine. They appear in me. They disappear in me. A parade of passions. A book of thoughts. A charade of posses on main street, and back streets. All are equally mine, never owned, never denied. What a grand parade it is!
From the mountains to the valleys, I scream, I cry, I call, I answer. Yet all is peaceful, ever still. The view from here is always available. All this cacophony and yet nothing ever happens. A dream going nowhere. Ever full, ever vibrant, teaming, swarming, dancing. A dream seen by no one.
Once seen, nothing can be done about it. It is what is prior to any appearance. It is what is after all appearances. It depends on nothing. Doesn't need anything. Yet it is open to everything. How could every hair on your head not be counted by this? It couldn't appear without this!
There is knowing and there is no-ing. There's less ignorance in no-ing. There is knowing appearing in this. So isn't this allowing presence true knowledge? So isn't true knowledge allowing? The barker takes the stage and announces, “Now this.! Now this ! Now this!” And now the clown comes on the stage and announces, “Leave anytime you like. This show never ends.”
So, realization is here. Does this bring ecstasy or joy to this person. Not at this moment. But this is OK. Why, because that is what is, and what is, is OK. This body-mind is in what I am. What I am is all that is. So how could this be not OK? If I am allows sorrow, then sorrow is acceptable. If I am allows joy, then joy is acceptable. Either way is irrelevant. I have allowed it to be.
Everything that appears must be in me. If it were not in me, how could I perceive it? Just as the body is in me and perceived, so any other form, sensation, thought or feeling, is in me. If I allow it, how can it not be OK? If I perceive it, can it be other than OK? If I am all that is, how can anything that appears not be OK? In this there is freedom.
This perceiving that all that is, is in me, and mine, brings peace. If it is, I allowed it. In being this allowing there is greater tolerance in the person for everything that happens. This body will be here as long as it is allowed. It will have good its good sensations, as well as aches and pains. The mind will have its joys and sorrows. All is OK as I allowed it. If there is resistance in the body-mind -- this too is allowed. Too allow everything is freedom. It is peace.
On Why Having a Teacher Who Knows is Important
Sometimes the last straw, the final hurdle, for the seeker is the need for permission. The seeker gave up the original source in childhood to cope and fit in - giving itself away to authority. There may be a very strong sense that seeing is close, but the one inch step to seeing is held in check. That is when a teacher who wants nothing from you, but only wants you to see, can be very beneficial. It is the force of the teacher's direct knowing, and convincing authority, that may allow the seeker to finally take the step he knows is needed. And after the step, the seeker realizes that he didn't take a step at all. He was waiting for himself on the other side.
Ignorance Walking Around
Ignorance is walking around all over the place, appearing as this and that. Human appearance does on rare occasions step out of ignorance into awareness. There is no reason for this, but it does happen. This happening does not have a path, as there are no paths to nowhere.
Methods may be provided, but all are tentative -- pointers only. The method already is in that which is. Why a certain appearance suddenly becomes awareness is not known. What appears to be the how is only an afterthought. Intent, strong enough to destroy the seeker is needed. And where is that intent? In awareness. Pathless intent. How paradoxical is that!
It is a false premise for anyone to assume that they have wasted their time, unawake. Any appearance whether a seeker or finder, already is only this awareness. Awareness has no time to waste. There is no time in awareness. Only the apparent seeker can feel he has wasted, or lost time. Once awake as awareness where was any time to have been lost?
When one says “I am liberated,” it doesn't mean that this body-mind is liberated. It means that as awareness I am free of body and mind. Body and mind appear in what I am.
Awareness Has NO Qualities
Qualities may arise in awareness but awareness itself has no qualities. Awareness is, everything after is a perceived quality – catness, dogness, humaness. Awareness is beyond the mind because it is prior to mind. It doesn't have an opinion about mind. It just is.
Any sage is aware of the duality of language. So if he is asked to speak on the subject, concepts that ascribe qualities must be used. Ideally those concepts point accurately to awareness. So one uses words such as, awareness is motionless, pointless, open. etc.. Any seeker is more likely to get beyond his mind trying to get at these qualities, than statements along the lines of how to be a better person. Understanding doesn't make a better person. Understanding is realizing there isn't a person to be better at anything. Even Jesus said, “Why call me good?”