The world is not like any one of us think it should be. Unless of course, we have given up our our beliefs regarding how the world should be.
Suffering is a good indication of how many untrue beliefs we carry. If we insist that "We should not suffer," we are simply saying, "My beliefs are more important than how the world actually is." To sustain this belief will guarantee continued suffering.
Knowing how things should be is the primary force behind suffering. However, were we to not know how things should be, we would still have discernment, which allows for preference, but without insistence.
Giving up our "shoulds" does not mean that we no longer have preferences, it's just that we no longer insist on them. We have given up insisting that the world should be as we see fit.
Any should will result in condemnation. Condemnation of how things are, how we ourself are, and how others are. Living in condemnation of self and others is suffering.
With discernment we can imagine what the world could be, but without the illusion that it should be so. We can still be the change we want to see, but not believe that others should be so.
True spirituality is by invitation, is is never insistent. It does not proselytize, nor condemn. It simply holds to the light that is.
Lovingness may be an ideal of how the world could be, but there is no evidence that this is how it should be.
My invitation is to let go of how the world should be. Let go of how others should be. Let go of how you should be. Simply see how you are, and accept that this is how you are.
This does not mean that you give up discernment. You can still have your preferences, just don't insist on them. Know them, even strive for them. But do not insist that others should have the same ideals, much less strive for them.
Be the person you would like others to be. Do your best to live up to our own ideals. This is a decent way to be, but not a requirement for yourself or others.
Be what you would like to see. Be responsible for the effort, but not responsible for the result. The result will be what it is.