Among a number of dreams I had last night, I recall only this episode.
A baby died and was buried. Apparently others who knew the baby, people I knew, heard about the death and wanted to make a big deal out of it. They found out where the baby was buried and began digging it up.
It seemed that I was there because those digging were related to me. But it wasn't clear to me who these people were, or how we were related.
The grave was dug up, and the little wooden coffin exposed. The women were all being dramatic about how small the coffin was, and how sad it was for such a young child to die.
Meanwhile, I stood in the background, not really participating. I couldn't feel any sadness. I could see no point in digging up the grave.
I felt no need to work at dredging up feelings about it. I couldn't appreciate the drama of it. It was what is was, and I knew that no one had died. I knew that everything was O.K.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Doubt
What is it that maintains "ignorance of the self" more firmly than anything else? It is doubt, and doubt comes from the intellect, the thinking, discerning mind.
The mind wants understanding on its own terms. It easily confirms and acknowledges experience, but it needs its own form of proof to relax and let go. It may even dislike its own doubt, but if it is honest, it wants satisfaction on its own terms.
As a spiritual seeker, you may have had a number of epiphanies, intense, unitive, and ecstatic experiences. They may have come with immense authority beyond measure. And yet they ended. They disappeared and went away.
Where does that leave you? Satisfied? No! Now you have a huge mote between experience and intellect - a gulf that seems insurmountable. The intellect remains, but the ecstasy is gone.
Without the feeling intensity of the experience, the intellect doubts the validity of what was experienced. Without the authority of the experience in full bloom, the intellect feels bereft.
The intellect acknowledges the experience, but it cannot understand it. It does not have the feeling capacity of the experience. It is left, as in a wasteland, looking for the meaning and significance of the experience.
As you know, experience is often outside the realm of reason, and does not easily succumb to investigation. Doubt sets in and disturbs the mind greatly, with no end to the pain. Somehow the gulf opened up needs to be crossed.
To dispel doubt, the mind needs help. It needs a method to see, on its own terms, what was experienced. So how does the mind examine doubt? It needs to satisfy itself in its own field, with discernment, logic, and reason.
It needs to examine doubt in its own light.
If the cause of doubt resides in the intellect, then the answer has to be satisfactory to the intellect. It needs a means, a science, a method of investigation.
That means is self inquiry. And self inquiry requires brutal honesty, brutal logic, and brutal persistence. This inquiry has to be pursued with the intensity that was revealed in the experiences. Yet this inquiry must be done with the mind, the full participation of the intellect, so the end result is conclusive, without doubt, satisfying the mind.
The intellect needs to have the same degree of satisfaction from inquiry, that the feeling experiential side, of you, received from epiphanies and ecstasies. Where the epiphanies may have come uncalled for, self inquiry is work.
Knowledge via self inquiry takes effort. You have to show up, and you have to do the work. But, like any science, there is a history, and there are methods, and they can make the path straight and narrow. A good scientific method can save years of time.
The science of self inquiry, Advaita Vedanta, has been around for a long time. How many thousands of years is not really known, but it has proven its worth over these years, and it works today. It is not a belief system, nor a religion, but a systematic means with various techniques that can lead to the end of doubt and the end of seeking.
The term "enlightenment" came out of the ancient East where is was defined and refined. They honed the terms, the methods, the questions, and the pointers. They have left it to us in the Vedas. But it is up to each one of us to take up the inquiry and find the answer for him or herself.
The end of seeking may not be bliss, but it is peaceful, and it is satisfying. The force is with you.
The mind wants understanding on its own terms. It easily confirms and acknowledges experience, but it needs its own form of proof to relax and let go. It may even dislike its own doubt, but if it is honest, it wants satisfaction on its own terms.
As a spiritual seeker, you may have had a number of epiphanies, intense, unitive, and ecstatic experiences. They may have come with immense authority beyond measure. And yet they ended. They disappeared and went away.
Where does that leave you? Satisfied? No! Now you have a huge mote between experience and intellect - a gulf that seems insurmountable. The intellect remains, but the ecstasy is gone.
Without the feeling intensity of the experience, the intellect doubts the validity of what was experienced. Without the authority of the experience in full bloom, the intellect feels bereft.
The intellect acknowledges the experience, but it cannot understand it. It does not have the feeling capacity of the experience. It is left, as in a wasteland, looking for the meaning and significance of the experience.
As you know, experience is often outside the realm of reason, and does not easily succumb to investigation. Doubt sets in and disturbs the mind greatly, with no end to the pain. Somehow the gulf opened up needs to be crossed.
To dispel doubt, the mind needs help. It needs a method to see, on its own terms, what was experienced. So how does the mind examine doubt? It needs to satisfy itself in its own field, with discernment, logic, and reason.
It needs to examine doubt in its own light.
If the cause of doubt resides in the intellect, then the answer has to be satisfactory to the intellect. It needs a means, a science, a method of investigation.
That means is self inquiry. And self inquiry requires brutal honesty, brutal logic, and brutal persistence. This inquiry has to be pursued with the intensity that was revealed in the experiences. Yet this inquiry must be done with the mind, the full participation of the intellect, so the end result is conclusive, without doubt, satisfying the mind.
The intellect needs to have the same degree of satisfaction from inquiry, that the feeling experiential side, of you, received from epiphanies and ecstasies. Where the epiphanies may have come uncalled for, self inquiry is work.
Knowledge via self inquiry takes effort. You have to show up, and you have to do the work. But, like any science, there is a history, and there are methods, and they can make the path straight and narrow. A good scientific method can save years of time.
The science of self inquiry, Advaita Vedanta, has been around for a long time. How many thousands of years is not really known, but it has proven its worth over these years, and it works today. It is not a belief system, nor a religion, but a systematic means with various techniques that can lead to the end of doubt and the end of seeking.
The term "enlightenment" came out of the ancient East where is was defined and refined. They honed the terms, the methods, the questions, and the pointers. They have left it to us in the Vedas. But it is up to each one of us to take up the inquiry and find the answer for him or herself.
The end of seeking may not be bliss, but it is peaceful, and it is satisfying. The force is with you.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
A Perfect World
Ah, this perfect world! Awareness loves all of it, and just the way it is! The perfection is that it couldn't be any other way. There is no measure by which to claim anything less than perfection.
What meaning there is, is in the mystery. The body-mind thing need not concern itself. It is but a localized view anyway, one of many. Nothing is really happening, even though it appears to be.
These localized views can be ignorant and mistaken, but it matters not. There is nothing wrong with the ignorance, for it is only apparent. Each and every being is innocent. There is never a guilty verdict.
When one knows that he is the knower, what more is there to know? The quest is over. No seeking has ground. It doesn't matter what happens next. No plan has any effect. All is still.
The end of time is the end of seeking. Death has lost it's sting. The knower and the known are one. The gestalt has shifted. The one is the One. All ones are One. No two exist.
When one steps out of time there is no going back. Each step goes nowhere. Every step that is taken is always here. Only this moment, always now.
What meaning there is, is in the mystery. The body-mind thing need not concern itself. It is but a localized view anyway, one of many. Nothing is really happening, even though it appears to be.
These localized views can be ignorant and mistaken, but it matters not. There is nothing wrong with the ignorance, for it is only apparent. Each and every being is innocent. There is never a guilty verdict.
When one knows that he is the knower, what more is there to know? The quest is over. No seeking has ground. It doesn't matter what happens next. No plan has any effect. All is still.
The end of time is the end of seeking. Death has lost it's sting. The knower and the known are one. The gestalt has shifted. The one is the One. All ones are One. No two exist.
When one steps out of time there is no going back. Each step goes nowhere. Every step that is taken is always here. Only this moment, always now.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
When Understanding Dawns
When understanding dawns, so many things drop away. The needs you used to have fall like leaves from a tree, preparing for winter. The future is nothing to worry about. It will be exactly as it is supposed to be.
You no longer have to clean your mind, or watch your mind, it is stilled by understanding. Whatever thoughts arise are seen to be useful or not. No matter. If they are to be acted upon they will, if not, not.
Even prayer does not arise. When everything is known to be perfect, and everything is unfolding perfectly, what is to be prayed for? What needs to be changed? Since you are That, who will you pray to?
Everything becomes simple. There is a body to be taken care of, but it is not you. You provide what it needs. The mind no longer needs much as ego needs have dissolved. If such a need appears to arise, there is nothing behind it, to drive it forward, and it dies after arising. No effort involved.
There is only one Will operating in the universe. Aligned with That, what is an appearance going to do? It is not even possible to consider. Nothing left to do, but relax into That.
Understanding takes the person out of the picture, as the many become One. The personal becomes impersonal. Everything stands as It IS, as It always has been, and always will be.
There is only stillness, You watch the changing scenery, knowing that nothing is happening. Nothing has ever changed. Peace is all there Is.
You no longer have to clean your mind, or watch your mind, it is stilled by understanding. Whatever thoughts arise are seen to be useful or not. No matter. If they are to be acted upon they will, if not, not.
Even prayer does not arise. When everything is known to be perfect, and everything is unfolding perfectly, what is to be prayed for? What needs to be changed? Since you are That, who will you pray to?
Everything becomes simple. There is a body to be taken care of, but it is not you. You provide what it needs. The mind no longer needs much as ego needs have dissolved. If such a need appears to arise, there is nothing behind it, to drive it forward, and it dies after arising. No effort involved.
There is only one Will operating in the universe. Aligned with That, what is an appearance going to do? It is not even possible to consider. Nothing left to do, but relax into That.
Understanding takes the person out of the picture, as the many become One. The personal becomes impersonal. Everything stands as It IS, as It always has been, and always will be.
There is only stillness, You watch the changing scenery, knowing that nothing is happening. Nothing has ever changed. Peace is all there Is.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Three States
The sages repeatedly refer to the three states all humans know: being awake, dreaming sleep, and deep dreamless sleep.
I always wondered why these states were so commonly referred to. What was the significance of these states? What was being pointed out?
I awoke from deep sleep with this on my mind. "If enlightenment is the deep understanding that 'I am Awareness,' how does this relate to the three states?"
I began to ponder what would be another way to say, "I am Awareness." What came to mind was "Presence Being Aware." With this interpretation I took another look at the three states. I was looking to see what could stand behind the three states. I wrote down the definitions that came to mind.
1. Being awake = Presence Being conscious.
2. Dream Sleep = Presence Being subconsciously imaginative.
3. Deep sleep = Presence Being aware of nothing.
What I like about these definitions is that it is apparent that the One thing standing behind the three states is Awareness. I also like the fact that these definitions make a distinction between awareness and consciousness.
Needless to say, I have always felt that a distinction needed to be made between awareness and consciousness. It has always been an irritation to me that many use these words interchangeably. The distinction that I feel needs to be made, is that Awareness is attribute-less and consciousness is not.
This distinction removes the need to refer to awareness as pure consciousness. We can now say that Awareness is the attribute-less field in which anything can become conscious, and it is the objects that have attributes.
Now, back to the definitions of the three states as defined above, their significance seems to be clearer. The sages are pointing out that in deep dreamless sleep, you are not there. At least you are not there as a person. Presence is there as Awareness, ready to wake up, but no person is there.
If reality is changeless, and you as a person are not present in deep dreamless sleep, then the person you think you are is not real because it disappears every night. Presence is there, but a person is not.
In dreaming sleep, you as a person appears. Your subconscious which thinks in symbols, creates stories from the interaction of symbols. Since you are there, you may remember the dream when you awake. What was also there was Awareness.
In the waking state, you know yourself, and your dreams, and your restful sleep. The peaceful rest you report was while you were gone, during deep dreamless sleep. So the report can only come from Awareness which was there. That which was present during dreamless sleep is also present in the waking state, Awareness.
The importance of the three states for the sages has been to point out that during part of every day, you as a person are not there. Therefore, you appear and disappear. This makes you only an appearance in reality.
Only that which stands behind the three states and doesn't change, can be reality. That which you really are is Awareness. This establishes the fact that the definition of enlightenment as the deep understanding that "I am Awareness" is correct.
I always wondered why these states were so commonly referred to. What was the significance of these states? What was being pointed out?
I awoke from deep sleep with this on my mind. "If enlightenment is the deep understanding that 'I am Awareness,' how does this relate to the three states?"
I began to ponder what would be another way to say, "I am Awareness." What came to mind was "Presence Being Aware." With this interpretation I took another look at the three states. I was looking to see what could stand behind the three states. I wrote down the definitions that came to mind.
1. Being awake = Presence Being conscious.
2. Dream Sleep = Presence Being subconsciously imaginative.
3. Deep sleep = Presence Being aware of nothing.
What I like about these definitions is that it is apparent that the One thing standing behind the three states is Awareness. I also like the fact that these definitions make a distinction between awareness and consciousness.
Needless to say, I have always felt that a distinction needed to be made between awareness and consciousness. It has always been an irritation to me that many use these words interchangeably. The distinction that I feel needs to be made, is that Awareness is attribute-less and consciousness is not.
This distinction removes the need to refer to awareness as pure consciousness. We can now say that Awareness is the attribute-less field in which anything can become conscious, and it is the objects that have attributes.
Now, back to the definitions of the three states as defined above, their significance seems to be clearer. The sages are pointing out that in deep dreamless sleep, you are not there. At least you are not there as a person. Presence is there as Awareness, ready to wake up, but no person is there.
If reality is changeless, and you as a person are not present in deep dreamless sleep, then the person you think you are is not real because it disappears every night. Presence is there, but a person is not.
In dreaming sleep, you as a person appears. Your subconscious which thinks in symbols, creates stories from the interaction of symbols. Since you are there, you may remember the dream when you awake. What was also there was Awareness.
In the waking state, you know yourself, and your dreams, and your restful sleep. The peaceful rest you report was while you were gone, during deep dreamless sleep. So the report can only come from Awareness which was there. That which was present during dreamless sleep is also present in the waking state, Awareness.
The importance of the three states for the sages has been to point out that during part of every day, you as a person are not there. Therefore, you appear and disappear. This makes you only an appearance in reality.
Only that which stands behind the three states and doesn't change, can be reality. That which you really are is Awareness. This establishes the fact that the definition of enlightenment as the deep understanding that "I am Awareness" is correct.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
What are we looking for?
One of the problems for seekers is the fact that they are searching for something (Enlightenment) which they have not clearly defined. What is worse, there are countless teachers talking about Enlightenment who also do not define what they are talking about.
We can assume that in the seeker there is a strong sense of something missing. The strength of this longing validates the seeking. So the seeker is off on the journey seeking enlightenment. However, because that "something" remains undefined, the seeker is subject to looking everywhere and anywhere.
The goal being undefined, leaves the seeker listening to anyone and everyone who claims to know something about the subject. Not knowing what it is, anyone could have it. Anything could be it! The seeker is now subject to any and all pseudo logic and experiential pablum. What is the seeker to do?
First, the seeker must realize that if one does not want to spend forty years looking under every rock, and behind every bush, one needs to have some idea of what the goal is. Some definition of what enlightenment is, needs to be determined. Without a good definition of the destination, it is only a wilderness.
If we begin by noting that the conclusion of the Vedas is that Consciousness is all there is, and that it is non-dual, perhaps we can define these and related terms, and chart a possible path.
If you look at the definitions below, gleaned from on-line dictionaries and shortened, one might begin to be able to define what Enlightenment is. The four words that are fundamental are: knowledge, experience, consciousness, awareness.
Knowledge: The sum or range of what has been or can be perceived, discovered, experienced, or learned.
Experience: Direct personal participation in, or perception of, or observation of, a particular incident, thought or feeling, that can be remembered and its impact known. It may be considered subjective, but not easily dismissed.
Consciousness: The sum total of everything that can be experienced, thought, felt, perceived, conjured, or known.
Awareness: That which allows sense data, however subtle or gross, to be registered as consciousness. That which is aware of everything is Awareness, and everything that can be known or experienced, happens in Awareness. All that is, or can be known, is consciousness, and consciousness appears in Awareness.
Based on these definitions, we may be able to mark a path to enlightenment.
1. If everything is one, then individuality is an appearance.
2. If individuality is an appearance, and I exist, then to know who I am, I must find the source of the appearance.
3. To find the source of appearance I need to get rid of my doubts and prove to myself that consciousness is all there is, and that my body-mind is an appearance only.
4. To prove that consciousness is all there is, I need to analyze all my sensory input, all perceptions, and determine that everything that appears out there, and in here, is in fact, experience only.
5. Once I know that everything is an interpretation only, and that all interpretation is consciousness only, I still need to know where consciousness appears.
6. Consciousness appears in Awareness. Awareness is the ultimate perceiver, for it has no attributes. It is the capability, the capacity, and the potentiality of knowing anything and everything.
7. If anything and everything that has ever been conscious, can become conscious, or will become conscious, appears in Awareness, then that is what I am. As the enlightened have always said, "That thou art."
We can assume that in the seeker there is a strong sense of something missing. The strength of this longing validates the seeking. So the seeker is off on the journey seeking enlightenment. However, because that "something" remains undefined, the seeker is subject to looking everywhere and anywhere.
The goal being undefined, leaves the seeker listening to anyone and everyone who claims to know something about the subject. Not knowing what it is, anyone could have it. Anything could be it! The seeker is now subject to any and all pseudo logic and experiential pablum. What is the seeker to do?
First, the seeker must realize that if one does not want to spend forty years looking under every rock, and behind every bush, one needs to have some idea of what the goal is. Some definition of what enlightenment is, needs to be determined. Without a good definition of the destination, it is only a wilderness.
If we begin by noting that the conclusion of the Vedas is that Consciousness is all there is, and that it is non-dual, perhaps we can define these and related terms, and chart a possible path.
If you look at the definitions below, gleaned from on-line dictionaries and shortened, one might begin to be able to define what Enlightenment is. The four words that are fundamental are: knowledge, experience, consciousness, awareness.
Knowledge: The sum or range of what has been or can be perceived, discovered, experienced, or learned.
Experience: Direct personal participation in, or perception of, or observation of, a particular incident, thought or feeling, that can be remembered and its impact known. It may be considered subjective, but not easily dismissed.
Consciousness: The sum total of everything that can be experienced, thought, felt, perceived, conjured, or known.
Awareness: That which allows sense data, however subtle or gross, to be registered as consciousness. That which is aware of everything is Awareness, and everything that can be known or experienced, happens in Awareness. All that is, or can be known, is consciousness, and consciousness appears in Awareness.
Based on these definitions, we may be able to mark a path to enlightenment.
1. If everything is one, then individuality is an appearance.
2. If individuality is an appearance, and I exist, then to know who I am, I must find the source of the appearance.
3. To find the source of appearance I need to get rid of my doubts and prove to myself that consciousness is all there is, and that my body-mind is an appearance only.
4. To prove that consciousness is all there is, I need to analyze all my sensory input, all perceptions, and determine that everything that appears out there, and in here, is in fact, experience only.
5. Once I know that everything is an interpretation only, and that all interpretation is consciousness only, I still need to know where consciousness appears.
6. Consciousness appears in Awareness. Awareness is the ultimate perceiver, for it has no attributes. It is the capability, the capacity, and the potentiality of knowing anything and everything.
7. If anything and everything that has ever been conscious, can become conscious, or will become conscious, appears in Awareness, then that is what I am. As the enlightened have always said, "That thou art."
Thursday, October 28, 2010
What Ends the Search
Vedanta is said to be the "knowledge that ends the search for knowledge." I have found this to be true. The bottom line of searching is to finally know with certainty who I am. When one finally sees that one can be nothing other than Awareness, what more is there to look for? One can't go any further because Awareness is attribute-less and not an object of experience.
No more questions can be asked. It is the end of the road. A great peace descends. There is no more great itch to scratch. There is also absolute certainty that there is no one who needs saving, and no reason to shout it from the mountain tops.
There is no one here and nothing is really happening, only appearances with mistaken identities. What is said to be obvious by the sages, has always been true. Once the obstacle of ignorance has been removed, with knowledge, understanding arrives. Awareness is the knower, and consciousness is all there is.
The method for removing the obstacles has been around for a long time. It is called Advaita Vedanta. It was recorded, written down by the sages of India, thousands of years ago. It was not hearsay then, and it is not hearsay now. It is not fuzzy logic.
It worked thousands of years ago, and it works today. It is a tried and true method for removing the the ignorance that clouds the minds of apparent persons. When the ignorance is removed, one sees one's true nature as Awareness. It feels natural because it is true.
Vedanta is a true science of mind. It has only one goal -- the removal of the mind's ignorance of its true nature. It is proved each time an apparent individual uses the method and finds the Self as undivided Awareness.
Vedanta asks no one to simply believe. It may require some faith in the teacher or the scriptures, but the whole system is based on inquiry. It asks in myriad ways, "Is this true? Is this true? And one has to do the inquiry oneself, to prove it to oneself.
If you want to get a taste of the method, a good source is "Notes on Spiritual Discourses of Shri Atmananda," taken by Nitya Tripta. These are the inquiries of students of Sri Atmananda Krishna Menon." It is a free download from a number of sources on the Internet.
The sages confidently say, "Prove it to yourself. No one can do it for you." Try it. It works.
http://www.advaita.org.uk/discourses/downloads/notes_pdf.zip
No more questions can be asked. It is the end of the road. A great peace descends. There is no more great itch to scratch. There is also absolute certainty that there is no one who needs saving, and no reason to shout it from the mountain tops.
There is no one here and nothing is really happening, only appearances with mistaken identities. What is said to be obvious by the sages, has always been true. Once the obstacle of ignorance has been removed, with knowledge, understanding arrives. Awareness is the knower, and consciousness is all there is.
The method for removing the obstacles has been around for a long time. It is called Advaita Vedanta. It was recorded, written down by the sages of India, thousands of years ago. It was not hearsay then, and it is not hearsay now. It is not fuzzy logic.
It worked thousands of years ago, and it works today. It is a tried and true method for removing the the ignorance that clouds the minds of apparent persons. When the ignorance is removed, one sees one's true nature as Awareness. It feels natural because it is true.
Vedanta is a true science of mind. It has only one goal -- the removal of the mind's ignorance of its true nature. It is proved each time an apparent individual uses the method and finds the Self as undivided Awareness.
Vedanta asks no one to simply believe. It may require some faith in the teacher or the scriptures, but the whole system is based on inquiry. It asks in myriad ways, "Is this true? Is this true? And one has to do the inquiry oneself, to prove it to oneself.
If you want to get a taste of the method, a good source is "Notes on Spiritual Discourses of Shri Atmananda," taken by Nitya Tripta. These are the inquiries of students of Sri Atmananda Krishna Menon." It is a free download from a number of sources on the Internet.
The sages confidently say, "Prove it to yourself. No one can do it for you." Try it. It works.
http://www.advaita.org.uk/discourses/downloads/notes_pdf.zip
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Anxiety and The Racing Mind
I don't worry about being here "now." Whatever is on my mind is here now, whether I am thinking only about what I am typing now, or bringing the past into the present moment, or bringing the future into the present moment. Everything is now. In fact everything is always just this.
It seems to me that when people talk about having trouble being in the now, they are really talking about intrusive thoughts, a racing mind bringing in thoughts about the past or the future. In effect, worry. It is a form of anxiety. I used to have that problem, but I don't any more.
I would advise not to try and directly stop the racing mind. Directly stopping the racing mind is impossible because the racing mind is a result, a symptom of unresolved issues. To stop the racing mind the issues need to be resolved. In other words, the stopping of the racing mind is an indirect result of resolving issues.
What I am trying to point out is that you can spend years trying to stop or control a racing mind and only succeed in wasting a lot of time. The racing thoughts problem isn't going to be stopped by force of will. It is only going to stop when the cause is removed.
In my case I was not looking to stop my racing mind. I was looking to resolve the inordinate mental anguish I was immersed in. At one point I even became aware that my mind was racing because I was trying to outrun my pain - trying to think my way out of it.
If there is an enormous amount of pain, and you try and rationalize your way out of it, your mind is going to race. The racing thoughts are are trying to outrun pain, they are screaming, "You need to resolve this!" Not doing so results in anxiety.
You see, the reality is, you experienced pain, or mental anguish, and somehow you did not fully experience it. It got repressed. You have unfinished business. On a personal level, to get back in touch with reality, the unexperienced pain needs to be felt. It needs to be felt to put you back in touch with your personal reality.
Now, I am all about getting to Impersonal Consciousness or Awareness. But it is going to be difficult to get there, if you have a ton of personal stuff in the way. Consciousness wants to experience everything, and if you have unfelt pain, it is going to insist that you feel it. Consciousness isn't going to avoid anything. It will not let you off the hook.
In my case, I went to a therapist who did Gestalt work. It was done in a group. I primarily worked on my dreams because they spoke the truth of what was going on in me. And what the dreams were symbolizing over and over was the pain.
When I did break through into the pain, it was enormous, and it was terrifying, and yet the experiencing of it allowed it to leave. At first it seemed bottomless, but eventually it cleared itself out. This did take a few years.
What happened when the pain was experienced and let go of? There was nothing left to try and outrun with my mind. I didn't have to try and rationalize my way around it. The result was a quiet mind.
Since then my mind has been extremely quiet. It thinks, but very little, and it doesn't have thoughts coming in unwanted, or having some other agenda, other than whatever task I am presently doing.
At work, whatever I am working on is all that is going on. Away from work, most of my leisure is spent on thinking about, or experiencing non-duality. It is what I want to think about. It is what I am. There are no intrusive thoughts.
If you really want to look at the issue of repressed pain and its relation to a racing, anxious, mind, read the book "The Primal Scream" by Arthur Janov. It made a difference for me.
It seems to me that when people talk about having trouble being in the now, they are really talking about intrusive thoughts, a racing mind bringing in thoughts about the past or the future. In effect, worry. It is a form of anxiety. I used to have that problem, but I don't any more.
I would advise not to try and directly stop the racing mind. Directly stopping the racing mind is impossible because the racing mind is a result, a symptom of unresolved issues. To stop the racing mind the issues need to be resolved. In other words, the stopping of the racing mind is an indirect result of resolving issues.
What I am trying to point out is that you can spend years trying to stop or control a racing mind and only succeed in wasting a lot of time. The racing thoughts problem isn't going to be stopped by force of will. It is only going to stop when the cause is removed.
In my case I was not looking to stop my racing mind. I was looking to resolve the inordinate mental anguish I was immersed in. At one point I even became aware that my mind was racing because I was trying to outrun my pain - trying to think my way out of it.
If there is an enormous amount of pain, and you try and rationalize your way out of it, your mind is going to race. The racing thoughts are are trying to outrun pain, they are screaming, "You need to resolve this!" Not doing so results in anxiety.
You see, the reality is, you experienced pain, or mental anguish, and somehow you did not fully experience it. It got repressed. You have unfinished business. On a personal level, to get back in touch with reality, the unexperienced pain needs to be felt. It needs to be felt to put you back in touch with your personal reality.
Now, I am all about getting to Impersonal Consciousness or Awareness. But it is going to be difficult to get there, if you have a ton of personal stuff in the way. Consciousness wants to experience everything, and if you have unfelt pain, it is going to insist that you feel it. Consciousness isn't going to avoid anything. It will not let you off the hook.
In my case, I went to a therapist who did Gestalt work. It was done in a group. I primarily worked on my dreams because they spoke the truth of what was going on in me. And what the dreams were symbolizing over and over was the pain.
When I did break through into the pain, it was enormous, and it was terrifying, and yet the experiencing of it allowed it to leave. At first it seemed bottomless, but eventually it cleared itself out. This did take a few years.
What happened when the pain was experienced and let go of? There was nothing left to try and outrun with my mind. I didn't have to try and rationalize my way around it. The result was a quiet mind.
Since then my mind has been extremely quiet. It thinks, but very little, and it doesn't have thoughts coming in unwanted, or having some other agenda, other than whatever task I am presently doing.
At work, whatever I am working on is all that is going on. Away from work, most of my leisure is spent on thinking about, or experiencing non-duality. It is what I want to think about. It is what I am. There are no intrusive thoughts.
If you really want to look at the issue of repressed pain and its relation to a racing, anxious, mind, read the book "The Primal Scream" by Arthur Janov. It made a difference for me.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Enlightenment is not a Particular Experience
There is a problem with enlightenment. The problem is that it seems to have a myriad of definitions. If one cannot define it, then how, even after fifty years as a seeker, would one ever know one had achieved it. This shocking thought has probably come to most seekers at some point. Ramesh Balsekar talks about this in one of his videos on youtube.
Most seekers start out reading about enlightenment, trying to understand. There is a lot of literature that talks about experience, especially the Western mystical literature. The experience of the Saints describes a variety of mystical experiences in the pursuit of God.
Seekers read these accounts with avid interest. The experiences seem out of this world, way beyond normal, and seekers may unconsciously take in the belief that enlightenment requires one to have this type of experience. Worse yet, the seeker may take on the belief that this type of experience is enlightenment.
Sooner or later, the dedicated seeker is likely to have one or more of this type of experience. These are very powerful, and often carry an authority that is beyond words. The power of such an experience is utterly meaningful, and has the feel of the absolute.
Then the experience, however wonderful and ecstatic passes, and one is dropped back into one's normal state.
Dropping back into one's normal state after an ecstatic experience of Oneness is not fun. It feels like one has lost one's most precious friend, lost the most meaningful experience one has ever had.
This loss may even lead to depression, because after the experience has gone, the normal state of the world seems barren, like a desert, a no man's land. This is a problem.
The problem with these experiences is largely due to their power. They are so powerful and meaningful that one is easily convinced that "This is it. This is enlightenment. This is what I have been looking for. This is what I have to keep to be enlightened." And so the experiencer is off in hot pursuit of regaining the experience.
But what if such experiences are not enlightenment? What if this is just an experience, although a powerful one, and not enlightenment? What if enlightenment is not an experience? What if the experience is just a message, a special message, designed to wake you up to something more permanent?
Experiences come and go, no matter how mundane or high and out of this world. Doesn't enlightenment have to be something more permanent than a state, an experience? Realization is a waking up to Reality, and Reality is unchanging. What do we do then, with an experience that is mystical, beatific, ecstatic beyond words?
The only thing we can do is examine it. What is the message of such an experience? Obviously it is a message that points to something deeper, more permanent. So we need to ask questions. We need to know what the experience means. What might it be pointing to?
We could ask, "Who did this experience come to?" Now we are back into "Self Inquiry." A good place to be, as this self
inquiry is a method expounded by the sages. Self inquiry is also not a search for experience, but for knowledge and understanding.
By the time a seeker is having mystical experiences of this nature, it is likely that they have also discovered that we are not who we thought we were. Perhaps we have even read that we are consciousness, and that life is actually impersonal. If we apply this knowledge to our mystical ecstatic epiphanies, we can go deeper yet.
As all experiences come and go, this ecstatic experience is like all others, a pointer, not the Reality, because Reality is unchanging. If the experience then, is not enlightenment, and we need deeper understanding, what do we use?
This is where the mind comes in. On examination, we can come to some conclusions. Since experience comes and goes, it can't be enlightenment. So what doesn't come and go? Awareness doesn't come and go. Where is awareness? Everywhere. I have awareness. My teacher has awareness. My dog and cat have awareness. Awareness never changes. Awareness is real.
One plus one equals two, no matter what experience you are having. Awareness is, no matter what experience you are having. It is the background of all your experience. You are Awareness whether you know it or not. But when you know it, it is knowledge you can count on.
Considering the unreality of experience, and considering the fact that you exist and are aware, it is apparent that enlightenment is the knowledge that one is Awareness. Of course this is not just an intellectual knowledge, but a deep and abiding knowledge, an understanding that includes one's whole effort: experiences, thinking, intuition and heart.
If one knows that one is Awareness, with conviction, on direct observation, including all one's experience, all one's thinking, and all one's heart, then one's knowledge is firm. This understanding is enlightenment. Understanding is all.
Most seekers start out reading about enlightenment, trying to understand. There is a lot of literature that talks about experience, especially the Western mystical literature. The experience of the Saints describes a variety of mystical experiences in the pursuit of God.
Seekers read these accounts with avid interest. The experiences seem out of this world, way beyond normal, and seekers may unconsciously take in the belief that enlightenment requires one to have this type of experience. Worse yet, the seeker may take on the belief that this type of experience is enlightenment.
Sooner or later, the dedicated seeker is likely to have one or more of this type of experience. These are very powerful, and often carry an authority that is beyond words. The power of such an experience is utterly meaningful, and has the feel of the absolute.
Then the experience, however wonderful and ecstatic passes, and one is dropped back into one's normal state.
Dropping back into one's normal state after an ecstatic experience of Oneness is not fun. It feels like one has lost one's most precious friend, lost the most meaningful experience one has ever had.
This loss may even lead to depression, because after the experience has gone, the normal state of the world seems barren, like a desert, a no man's land. This is a problem.
The problem with these experiences is largely due to their power. They are so powerful and meaningful that one is easily convinced that "This is it. This is enlightenment. This is what I have been looking for. This is what I have to keep to be enlightened." And so the experiencer is off in hot pursuit of regaining the experience.
But what if such experiences are not enlightenment? What if this is just an experience, although a powerful one, and not enlightenment? What if enlightenment is not an experience? What if the experience is just a message, a special message, designed to wake you up to something more permanent?
Experiences come and go, no matter how mundane or high and out of this world. Doesn't enlightenment have to be something more permanent than a state, an experience? Realization is a waking up to Reality, and Reality is unchanging. What do we do then, with an experience that is mystical, beatific, ecstatic beyond words?
The only thing we can do is examine it. What is the message of such an experience? Obviously it is a message that points to something deeper, more permanent. So we need to ask questions. We need to know what the experience means. What might it be pointing to?
We could ask, "Who did this experience come to?" Now we are back into "Self Inquiry." A good place to be, as this self
inquiry is a method expounded by the sages. Self inquiry is also not a search for experience, but for knowledge and understanding.
By the time a seeker is having mystical experiences of this nature, it is likely that they have also discovered that we are not who we thought we were. Perhaps we have even read that we are consciousness, and that life is actually impersonal. If we apply this knowledge to our mystical ecstatic epiphanies, we can go deeper yet.
As all experiences come and go, this ecstatic experience is like all others, a pointer, not the Reality, because Reality is unchanging. If the experience then, is not enlightenment, and we need deeper understanding, what do we use?
This is where the mind comes in. On examination, we can come to some conclusions. Since experience comes and goes, it can't be enlightenment. So what doesn't come and go? Awareness doesn't come and go. Where is awareness? Everywhere. I have awareness. My teacher has awareness. My dog and cat have awareness. Awareness never changes. Awareness is real.
One plus one equals two, no matter what experience you are having. Awareness is, no matter what experience you are having. It is the background of all your experience. You are Awareness whether you know it or not. But when you know it, it is knowledge you can count on.
Considering the unreality of experience, and considering the fact that you exist and are aware, it is apparent that enlightenment is the knowledge that one is Awareness. Of course this is not just an intellectual knowledge, but a deep and abiding knowledge, an understanding that includes one's whole effort: experiences, thinking, intuition and heart.
If one knows that one is Awareness, with conviction, on direct observation, including all one's experience, all one's thinking, and all one's heart, then one's knowledge is firm. This understanding is enlightenment. Understanding is all.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Background of Vedanta
A person has many varied experiences in a day, yet somehow one still knows, I am me. One may feel happy or sad, thoughtful or anxious, the states come and go. Experiencing all these different states, one might think the person would feel discontinuous, but that doesn't appear to happen. One still considers oneself an individual.
How is it that one doesn't loose oneself? The inference is that there is something stable behind the individual, something ongoing, something real. The unchanging background of awareness is what Vedantins call it. And the One who knows this is called "Realized."
As the person remains himself, or herself, despite the constant changes, just so, consciousness itself remains one, despite having the experience of billions of different bodies. Not only is this similar to the person's sense of retaining individuality, it is the same thing, for the background of all persons, that which provides the background, is Consciousness itself.
Vedanta establishes that there is no difference between an individual having various passing feelings and thoughts, and consciousness having the experience of billions of bodies. The person passes in an out of feelings and thoughts, and Consciousness knows the passing in and out of experience, of all the bodies.
The experience of the individual, and the experience of Consciousness are One and the same. The only difference is that the individual feels that his body-mind owns the consciousness, whereas, in fact, the individual is only a focal point in consciousness. The mistaken identity is simply ignorance. To "realize," is simply to see through the ignorance.
Body-mind states come and go, yet the person knows himself as one. Consciousness experiences the coming and going of bodies, yet knows itself as One. The coming and going of body-minds does not split consciousness into the many. There is only One in many forms. Realize that and be free.
How is it that one doesn't loose oneself? The inference is that there is something stable behind the individual, something ongoing, something real. The unchanging background of awareness is what Vedantins call it. And the One who knows this is called "Realized."
As the person remains himself, or herself, despite the constant changes, just so, consciousness itself remains one, despite having the experience of billions of different bodies. Not only is this similar to the person's sense of retaining individuality, it is the same thing, for the background of all persons, that which provides the background, is Consciousness itself.
Vedanta establishes that there is no difference between an individual having various passing feelings and thoughts, and consciousness having the experience of billions of bodies. The person passes in an out of feelings and thoughts, and Consciousness knows the passing in and out of experience, of all the bodies.
The experience of the individual, and the experience of Consciousness are One and the same. The only difference is that the individual feels that his body-mind owns the consciousness, whereas, in fact, the individual is only a focal point in consciousness. The mistaken identity is simply ignorance. To "realize," is simply to see through the ignorance.
Body-mind states come and go, yet the person knows himself as one. Consciousness experiences the coming and going of bodies, yet knows itself as One. The coming and going of body-minds does not split consciousness into the many. There is only One in many forms. Realize that and be free.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Common Awareness
I am aware of seeing through these eyes and viewing objects. I am aware of thinking about the objects I see. But who or what is looking out of these eyes?
I did not create this body I am looking out from. Neither did I create this mind that seems to possess this body. This being the case, this body-mind is an object - not a personal self.
If this body-mind is an object, who, or what, is looking out these eyes? Who or what is taking in the scenery? Who or what is experiencing this particular body-mind?
Since I did not create this body-mind, calling it "myself," is rather immodest, a taking of liberties. No object in the universe is known to be uncreated. It appears that this body-mind must be an object of that which created it. I can acknowledge this much, but who then, is here?
For that which created me to be here, looking out of my eyes, it must be something subtler than this body. If it can be inside of this body, and look out my eyes, it must be something formless, yet aware.
I can neither see nor touch what is here looking out, yet it is definitely here. That subject is what I have always been looking for, even when I didn't know what I was looking for.
What is looking out my eyes, your eyes, all eyes? We can all agree we have a common Source. So whatever is present behind our eyes, must be common to us all.
What is common to us all: humans, animals, and all of life? Nothing but Awareness, the Grand Subject, the Great I, playing on its own stage.
I am That. You are That. All is That. Nothing personal. Gloria in Excelsis Deo!
I did not create this body I am looking out from. Neither did I create this mind that seems to possess this body. This being the case, this body-mind is an object - not a personal self.
If this body-mind is an object, who, or what, is looking out these eyes? Who or what is taking in the scenery? Who or what is experiencing this particular body-mind?
Since I did not create this body-mind, calling it "myself," is rather immodest, a taking of liberties. No object in the universe is known to be uncreated. It appears that this body-mind must be an object of that which created it. I can acknowledge this much, but who then, is here?
For that which created me to be here, looking out of my eyes, it must be something subtler than this body. If it can be inside of this body, and look out my eyes, it must be something formless, yet aware.
I can neither see nor touch what is here looking out, yet it is definitely here. That subject is what I have always been looking for, even when I didn't know what I was looking for.
What is looking out my eyes, your eyes, all eyes? We can all agree we have a common Source. So whatever is present behind our eyes, must be common to us all.
What is common to us all: humans, animals, and all of life? Nothing but Awareness, the Grand Subject, the Great I, playing on its own stage.
I am That. You are That. All is That. Nothing personal. Gloria in Excelsis Deo!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Knowledge is Power
A simple story of lights in the office where I work is a good example of ignorance.
Most mornings when I get to the office the lights in my area are on. Some mornings, they are not. It turns out that a few people know how to turn the lights on and the rest are ignorant of it. Until that person comes in, and I don't know who they are, we sit in the dark.
Typically, when the lights are out, we wait for someone to come in who knows how to turn the lights on. Usually it's just a few minutes, then miraculously, the lights come on.
One morning, I sat in the dark for a long time. I could see my monitor, but not the keyboard. I happened to go by the desk of someone close by, also sitting in the dark. I asked him, "Do you know who knows how to turn on the lights?"
"Sure," He answered, "I know how to do it." As he got up to go do it, I said, "Perhaps I should follow you and see how you do it?" I followed him around the corner and a few feet down the hall where there was a light switch. He flicked the switch, and on came the lights.
"Funny," I said, "I have passed by that switch hundreds of times and never noticed it. Knowledge is power, isn't it?" He answered, "Yes," with a big grin.
Enlightenment is a lot like this. Awareness is familiar, it is close, we live and breathe within it, but we don't know it is there. Meister Eckhart gave us a clue when he said, "The eye with which I see God is the same eye with which God sees me."
Awareness is staring us in the face, 24/7, and staring back at us as well, 24/7. We just don't notice it. We don't even know to look!
Assuming that the darkness is noticed, and that there is earnestness to find the light, all we need is correct knowledge and the willingness to look. Knowledge opens the door to the fact that Awareness is what we are, not something we have. The right pointers and an open mind bring understanding.
Years can be spent looking with Awareness at Awareness, for enlightenment, without knowing that we are what we are looking for. Without recognition, we can be it, and not know it. Knowledge awakens us to what we have always been, but overlooked.
Thank God for the teacher that can point at the knowledge, because he knows where it is.
Most mornings when I get to the office the lights in my area are on. Some mornings, they are not. It turns out that a few people know how to turn the lights on and the rest are ignorant of it. Until that person comes in, and I don't know who they are, we sit in the dark.
Typically, when the lights are out, we wait for someone to come in who knows how to turn the lights on. Usually it's just a few minutes, then miraculously, the lights come on.
One morning, I sat in the dark for a long time. I could see my monitor, but not the keyboard. I happened to go by the desk of someone close by, also sitting in the dark. I asked him, "Do you know who knows how to turn on the lights?"
"Sure," He answered, "I know how to do it." As he got up to go do it, I said, "Perhaps I should follow you and see how you do it?" I followed him around the corner and a few feet down the hall where there was a light switch. He flicked the switch, and on came the lights.
"Funny," I said, "I have passed by that switch hundreds of times and never noticed it. Knowledge is power, isn't it?" He answered, "Yes," with a big grin.
Enlightenment is a lot like this. Awareness is familiar, it is close, we live and breathe within it, but we don't know it is there. Meister Eckhart gave us a clue when he said, "The eye with which I see God is the same eye with which God sees me."
Awareness is staring us in the face, 24/7, and staring back at us as well, 24/7. We just don't notice it. We don't even know to look!
Assuming that the darkness is noticed, and that there is earnestness to find the light, all we need is correct knowledge and the willingness to look. Knowledge opens the door to the fact that Awareness is what we are, not something we have. The right pointers and an open mind bring understanding.
Years can be spent looking with Awareness at Awareness, for enlightenment, without knowing that we are what we are looking for. Without recognition, we can be it, and not know it. Knowledge awakens us to what we have always been, but overlooked.
Thank God for the teacher that can point at the knowledge, because he knows where it is.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Awareness is Not a State
Awareness is not a state. It is that on which states appear. You cannot experience awareness itself because you are awareness, yet everything you experience is in awareness.
The beauty of awareness not being a state, is that you cannot loose it. In fact, you have never been without it. You don't have to do anything to have it, it is already yours.
The reflection of enlightenment in awareness, however, may change what is experienced. An enlightened mind may experience life differently: the absence of suffering, or less frustration with the way things are.
When one first gets a glimpse of oneness, the mind may feel an overwhelming bliss, or ecstasy, but bliss will not last. It is a great experience, but it is not permanent, and it is not enlightenment. When it goes, one may be rather dismayed, yet if one can take the experience as a pointer, it may lead to the understanding that is enlightenment.
With or without that blissful experience, you are awareness. Enlightened or not, you are awareness. You can't feel awareness directly. It is a potentiality, a constant, eternal readiness for experience.
Awareness is the foundation, the potentiality, for knowing, for experiencing, any and all things - however gross or subtle. It is the field in which interpretations of experience are labeled good or bad.
Enlightenment then, if not a state, can be nothing but understanding - understanding of the fact of non-duality. Those who understand we call enlightened. Yet all, with or without understanding, are awareness, and are standing in non-duality.
Experience is experience, it does not necessarily translate into knowledge. And it is knowledge that is required for enlightenment. Enlightenment is not getting something you didn't have, it is the realization that you are that - eternal awareness, waiting, ready for anything.
In enlightenment, you realize that the ordinary is okay. You do not need what is not in the world, you know that whatever is out there, or not out there, does not affect you. Your happiness is not out there, and seeking for self has ended.
The beauty of awareness not being a state, is that you cannot loose it. In fact, you have never been without it. You don't have to do anything to have it, it is already yours.
The reflection of enlightenment in awareness, however, may change what is experienced. An enlightened mind may experience life differently: the absence of suffering, or less frustration with the way things are.
When one first gets a glimpse of oneness, the mind may feel an overwhelming bliss, or ecstasy, but bliss will not last. It is a great experience, but it is not permanent, and it is not enlightenment. When it goes, one may be rather dismayed, yet if one can take the experience as a pointer, it may lead to the understanding that is enlightenment.
With or without that blissful experience, you are awareness. Enlightened or not, you are awareness. You can't feel awareness directly. It is a potentiality, a constant, eternal readiness for experience.
Awareness is the foundation, the potentiality, for knowing, for experiencing, any and all things - however gross or subtle. It is the field in which interpretations of experience are labeled good or bad.
Enlightenment then, if not a state, can be nothing but understanding - understanding of the fact of non-duality. Those who understand we call enlightened. Yet all, with or without understanding, are awareness, and are standing in non-duality.
Experience is experience, it does not necessarily translate into knowledge. And it is knowledge that is required for enlightenment. Enlightenment is not getting something you didn't have, it is the realization that you are that - eternal awareness, waiting, ready for anything.
In enlightenment, you realize that the ordinary is okay. You do not need what is not in the world, you know that whatever is out there, or not out there, does not affect you. Your happiness is not out there, and seeking for self has ended.
Monday, September 20, 2010
A Teacher Points
A small group of new students gathered in the room. A young man, quite impatient asked, "How do I find out who I really Am?"
The teacher said, "We'll get directly to it. Please everyone give your name." The students proceeded to do so.
"I am Jane."
"I am John."
"I am Ashley."
"I am Charles."
"Very well," said the teacher, "tell me a little about yourself."
Each student proceeded to provide a short description of their background and interests, and what brought them to the teacher. Then the teacher spoke.
"Each of you has described your attributes. Each of you has spoken of your Jane-ness, John-ness, Ashley-ness, and Charles-ness, but you have all overlooked something very fundamental. Each of you prefixed your name with 'I am' but none of you have talked about that."
John said, "That's just a matter of phrasing. It's typical. It's just grammar, you know, the way we talk."
"Is it?" said the teacher.
Jane piped in, "What does 'I am' have to do with talking about myself?"
"Well, said the teacher, "It seems to me, if you each prefaced your name with 'I am,' that it must be fundamental to you. Have you overlooked something?
The students sat in silence.
The teacher said, "All of you provided descriptions of your attributes, that which describes your apparent separateness. Even your names provide attributes, maleness with John and Charles, and femaleness with Ashley and Jane. What I am asking is what is common among you, and not separate?"
The students were again quiet, pondering.
After awhile the teacher spoke again. "You see, all of you have overlooked that which has the attributes. Wouldn't you say that that which carries the attributes is more fundamental to you than any attributes you attach to that?"
Several of the students nodded "yes," but said nothing.
"Consider," said the teacher, "that 'I am' is fundamental to each of you. 'I am' is the one statement for which you need no proof. Would any of you say that you do not exist?"
They all shook their heads indicating, "No."
"So, when you say 'I am' you are saying first, 'I exist' and only secondarily you are qualifying yourself as Jane, as John, or Ashley. Do you not see that you first are stating who you really are, and only secondarily that you are Jane or John?"
All were still silent.
"When Moses was on the mountain where he received the tablets, he asked God, 'Whom shall I say hath sent me?' What was the answer he received?"
Ashley spoke up, " God said, 'Tell them I Am has sent you.'"
The teacher said, "If God is I Am, then we can agree that 'I Am' is fundamental?"
The students eyes were getting big. Something was dawning on them.
"We overlook 'I am' and get caught in attributes. But our attributes are qualities. These qualities are like clothes. The clothes that God wears."
John and Ashley's jaws were dropping open. They had never considered this.
"I am is common to each of you in this room. I am is what you must have first, to be Jane, or John, or Ashley or Charles. Your parents said I am and your children's children will preface their names with I am. It is not a part of common speech by accident. It is fundamental. Can you see that I Am is what each of you are, before you forget yourself, and took yourself to be Jane or John?"
"Wow," said Charles, "I never saw it that way."
"Ah," said the teacher, " You are beginning to feel that presence, that something that is more basic to you than your attributes. I can see it in your eyes. That's good.
"Do you see that there is a common essence, an I am-ness present in each of you. It has no attributes, so it is easy to overlook, but it easily takes on attributes. Each of you are really that. Your Jane-ness, or Charles-ness, is really a presentation in I Amness. And each of you have taken the clothing as the real you.
"Some call it consciousness. Some call it the 'I principle,' but it is that which we overlook. It's easy to do. Having overlooked this, we begin the search. But we search for what we already are. We are looking out of what we are searching for!"
"So, what am I?" asked Charles."
"You are that. 'I am' has sent you into the world to play Charles. You are an actor on the stage of the manifested world. As Shakespear said, 'All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.'"
Charles just kept saying "Wow." The others were silent.
Knowing that this was enough for the evening, the teacher thanked them for coming and and went to make coffee.
The teacher said, "We'll get directly to it. Please everyone give your name." The students proceeded to do so.
"I am Jane."
"I am John."
"I am Ashley."
"I am Charles."
"Very well," said the teacher, "tell me a little about yourself."
Each student proceeded to provide a short description of their background and interests, and what brought them to the teacher. Then the teacher spoke.
"Each of you has described your attributes. Each of you has spoken of your Jane-ness, John-ness, Ashley-ness, and Charles-ness, but you have all overlooked something very fundamental. Each of you prefixed your name with 'I am' but none of you have talked about that."
John said, "That's just a matter of phrasing. It's typical. It's just grammar, you know, the way we talk."
"Is it?" said the teacher.
Jane piped in, "What does 'I am' have to do with talking about myself?"
"Well, said the teacher, "It seems to me, if you each prefaced your name with 'I am,' that it must be fundamental to you. Have you overlooked something?
The students sat in silence.
The teacher said, "All of you provided descriptions of your attributes, that which describes your apparent separateness. Even your names provide attributes, maleness with John and Charles, and femaleness with Ashley and Jane. What I am asking is what is common among you, and not separate?"
The students were again quiet, pondering.
After awhile the teacher spoke again. "You see, all of you have overlooked that which has the attributes. Wouldn't you say that that which carries the attributes is more fundamental to you than any attributes you attach to that?"
Several of the students nodded "yes," but said nothing.
"Consider," said the teacher, "that 'I am' is fundamental to each of you. 'I am' is the one statement for which you need no proof. Would any of you say that you do not exist?"
They all shook their heads indicating, "No."
"So, when you say 'I am' you are saying first, 'I exist' and only secondarily you are qualifying yourself as Jane, as John, or Ashley. Do you not see that you first are stating who you really are, and only secondarily that you are Jane or John?"
All were still silent.
"When Moses was on the mountain where he received the tablets, he asked God, 'Whom shall I say hath sent me?' What was the answer he received?"
Ashley spoke up, " God said, 'Tell them I Am has sent you.'"
The teacher said, "If God is I Am, then we can agree that 'I Am' is fundamental?"
The students eyes were getting big. Something was dawning on them.
"We overlook 'I am' and get caught in attributes. But our attributes are qualities. These qualities are like clothes. The clothes that God wears."
John and Ashley's jaws were dropping open. They had never considered this.
"I am is common to each of you in this room. I am is what you must have first, to be Jane, or John, or Ashley or Charles. Your parents said I am and your children's children will preface their names with I am. It is not a part of common speech by accident. It is fundamental. Can you see that I Am is what each of you are, before you forget yourself, and took yourself to be Jane or John?"
"Wow," said Charles, "I never saw it that way."
"Ah," said the teacher, " You are beginning to feel that presence, that something that is more basic to you than your attributes. I can see it in your eyes. That's good.
"Do you see that there is a common essence, an I am-ness present in each of you. It has no attributes, so it is easy to overlook, but it easily takes on attributes. Each of you are really that. Your Jane-ness, or Charles-ness, is really a presentation in I Amness. And each of you have taken the clothing as the real you.
"Some call it consciousness. Some call it the 'I principle,' but it is that which we overlook. It's easy to do. Having overlooked this, we begin the search. But we search for what we already are. We are looking out of what we are searching for!"
"So, what am I?" asked Charles."
"You are that. 'I am' has sent you into the world to play Charles. You are an actor on the stage of the manifested world. As Shakespear said, 'All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.'"
Charles just kept saying "Wow." The others were silent.
Knowing that this was enough for the evening, the teacher thanked them for coming and and went to make coffee.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Understanding
The teacher is at peace because he is standing as the background. Just as the movie screen is at rest, whether a movie is playing or not. The teacher is resting in understanding, no matter how animated he may appear.
The teacher is aware that nothing is happening. This is the truth. Standing as awareness, the pure background, everything else is just the dance of appearance. The fundamental, pure I, remains unchanged.
The teacher knows that whatever appears to be happening, changes nothing. His stand is in the absolute. All that appears to be happening can be enjoyed, but it changes nothing.
The understanding of the teacher is not personal. For seekers to place the label of "enlightened" on the teacher is misplaced. The teacher is an appearance as well, and can't claim enlightenment.
Seekers only lack the simple understanding of who they really are. If they understood, they would know that there is no difference between them and the teacher.
Satsang is really a comedy of errors. The teacher knows where all the questions are coming from. Their fundamental error is all the same. That is why many sages proclaim that "The answer is in the question."
All the teacher can do is answer the questions until the questions stop. And the comedy is, that once understanding dawns in the seeker, the seeker disappears as well, having fallen into the impersonal himself.
Nothing has changed, only understanding has dawned. The play goes on. The ordinary continues. There are ups and downs, but rest is there, and questions don't need to be answered.
The teacher is aware that nothing is happening. This is the truth. Standing as awareness, the pure background, everything else is just the dance of appearance. The fundamental, pure I, remains unchanged.
The teacher knows that whatever appears to be happening, changes nothing. His stand is in the absolute. All that appears to be happening can be enjoyed, but it changes nothing.
The understanding of the teacher is not personal. For seekers to place the label of "enlightened" on the teacher is misplaced. The teacher is an appearance as well, and can't claim enlightenment.
Seekers only lack the simple understanding of who they really are. If they understood, they would know that there is no difference between them and the teacher.
Satsang is really a comedy of errors. The teacher knows where all the questions are coming from. Their fundamental error is all the same. That is why many sages proclaim that "The answer is in the question."
All the teacher can do is answer the questions until the questions stop. And the comedy is, that once understanding dawns in the seeker, the seeker disappears as well, having fallen into the impersonal himself.
Nothing has changed, only understanding has dawned. The play goes on. The ordinary continues. There are ups and downs, but rest is there, and questions don't need to be answered.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Do Objects Exist?
Material objects are known to exist only because we say so. Our senses of sight, hearing, touch, etc., tell us so. Any object we claim to know is entirely a subjective experience. We ourselves are the proof that the world exists.
Do objects exist without our perceiving them? We've read of someone hit by a bus they neither saw nor heard, or the soldier killed by a snipper's bullet he never saw coming.
It appears that objects do exist without our senses having to perceive them. But that does not make them separate. That we perceive objects seems to indicate that we and objects are made of the same stuff.
To be able to perceive what is, implies a common foundation with what is. It cannot be separate if we can see it, smell it, touch it. A common underlying principle must be present.
What is common to all perceptions is consciousness. We tell a friend, "Go to the museum and look at such and such a piece of art." Our friend goes and sees. Doesn't this show that the same consciousness that is in us, is in our friend.
It is obvious that there is one principle behind what is. That principle is awareness. It was present when you saw the art, and again when your friend saw it.
When you saw the art, awareness became conscious of it. When your friend saw it, awareness became conscious of it again. Two people, different times, same aware presence.
That presence is always everywhere aware. It is conscious of all experience. There is nothing separate from it. Consciousness is all there is.
Do objects exist without our perceiving them? We've read of someone hit by a bus they neither saw nor heard, or the soldier killed by a snipper's bullet he never saw coming.
It appears that objects do exist without our senses having to perceive them. But that does not make them separate. That we perceive objects seems to indicate that we and objects are made of the same stuff.
To be able to perceive what is, implies a common foundation with what is. It cannot be separate if we can see it, smell it, touch it. A common underlying principle must be present.
What is common to all perceptions is consciousness. We tell a friend, "Go to the museum and look at such and such a piece of art." Our friend goes and sees. Doesn't this show that the same consciousness that is in us, is in our friend.
It is obvious that there is one principle behind what is. That principle is awareness. It was present when you saw the art, and again when your friend saw it.
When you saw the art, awareness became conscious of it. When your friend saw it, awareness became conscious of it again. Two people, different times, same aware presence.
That presence is always everywhere aware. It is conscious of all experience. There is nothing separate from it. Consciousness is all there is.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Veil of Objects
It is the apparent utility of things that causes us to focus on objects and forget the Oneness of experience. The utility of things causes us to conceive objects, which are actually concepts. Yet the field of existence remains One.
Concepts are utilitarian and we focus on them, naming and dividing until the world is full of things. We name all things, creating separateness where none exists. Naming is the veil we cover Oneness with.
Our naked experience is no longer seen, or knowable, and intimacy is lost, out there in a world, of created things.
One is sliced and diced into a million objects, named, categorized, and filed away.
We are dressed to the nines in concepts, robed in words, defined, refined, and abstracted into a billion things. We are the king of concepts, the king of naming, the king of separateness.
Yet behind the veil of separate things, I alone exist. I am not named, not defined, not separate, and not divided.
I am all experience, and do not label it good or bad. Everything is a sharing of myself alone. At peace with all.
Concepts are utilitarian and we focus on them, naming and dividing until the world is full of things. We name all things, creating separateness where none exists. Naming is the veil we cover Oneness with.
Our naked experience is no longer seen, or knowable, and intimacy is lost, out there in a world, of created things.
One is sliced and diced into a million objects, named, categorized, and filed away.
We are dressed to the nines in concepts, robed in words, defined, refined, and abstracted into a billion things. We are the king of concepts, the king of naming, the king of separateness.
Yet behind the veil of separate things, I alone exist. I am not named, not defined, not separate, and not divided.
I am all experience, and do not label it good or bad. Everything is a sharing of myself alone. At peace with all.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
How to Look for Who You Really Are
When we start looking for who we really are, we start looking where we know to look. We actually start looking in the areas we know. What we don't realize, is that we are looking in boxed sets of assumptions, unquestioned opinions, looking through beliefs, looking via religions, philosophy, psychology, etc.
But the answer is not there! The answer is closer than that! Closer than your body. Closer than your mind. That is why so much looking goes nowhere. The answer is not where we are looking, and we don't realize that we don't know where to look.
Without help we are likely to have to plow through all the religions, all the philosophies, all the psychologies, and exhaust them all, before we even get a hint that we are looking in the wrong place.
This is why it is often stated that you need a teacher, a guide. Because, if the teacher knows, the teacher can keep pointing out that you need to look closer, that the answer is closer than all those beliefs, closer than all your assumptions, and outside the boxes in your mind.
The simplest thing is to look at what is subject, and what is object. Investigate if an object is really "out there," and you "in here."
Remember that the only proof of "out there" is your own self. Everything you see "out there" is sensed by you, interpreted by your body and your mind. That interpretation is all done in YOU. So where does that object actually exist? ONLY IN YOU!
And when you see this, you see that there is NO "out there." There is only here. And when you look at your own body, and your own mind, you see that even yourself is an interpretation of the senses, interpretations of the mind. And if you follow this to the conclusion, you can only deduce that what you are, and what everything is, is SUBJECT only.
If subject only exists. Then YOU are THAT. When you see it, it is very simple. It changes your perspective, you no longer see anything "out there." All is SUBJECT only. All is only now, always and forever, and only as it is. And you are THAT.
But the answer is not there! The answer is closer than that! Closer than your body. Closer than your mind. That is why so much looking goes nowhere. The answer is not where we are looking, and we don't realize that we don't know where to look.
Without help we are likely to have to plow through all the religions, all the philosophies, all the psychologies, and exhaust them all, before we even get a hint that we are looking in the wrong place.
This is why it is often stated that you need a teacher, a guide. Because, if the teacher knows, the teacher can keep pointing out that you need to look closer, that the answer is closer than all those beliefs, closer than all your assumptions, and outside the boxes in your mind.
The simplest thing is to look at what is subject, and what is object. Investigate if an object is really "out there," and you "in here."
Remember that the only proof of "out there" is your own self. Everything you see "out there" is sensed by you, interpreted by your body and your mind. That interpretation is all done in YOU. So where does that object actually exist? ONLY IN YOU!
And when you see this, you see that there is NO "out there." There is only here. And when you look at your own body, and your own mind, you see that even yourself is an interpretation of the senses, interpretations of the mind. And if you follow this to the conclusion, you can only deduce that what you are, and what everything is, is SUBJECT only.
If subject only exists. Then YOU are THAT. When you see it, it is very simple. It changes your perspective, you no longer see anything "out there." All is SUBJECT only. All is only now, always and forever, and only as it is. And you are THAT.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
The Background of Enlightenment
Some teachers say, "You don't have to put out effort to be enlightened. " Paradoxically, they are correct. Yet the seeker doesn't get it. Can the seeker get it without effort?
Probably not! The seeker who doesn't get it, may need to put in some effort. For, though the truth is that they "are that," they do not recognize that to be the case.
The paradox itself has enabled some to get it. For others, they seek something, or a teacher, that to them feels more helpful. Of course, they will need the help until they don't.
Some seekers would insist that their search for Truth isn't even their own, and they can do nothing to stop it. These are the lucky ones. They can't help but make the effort. They are pulled by their own future, like an addiction.
Wherever the true seeker looks, in every form, whether physical, or conceptual, the obvious is there. In every function, the obvious is there. Everything is pointing, and everything is resting in that.
Everything is resting in the obvious. Everything is standing in the obvious. And what is this obvious thing, this silence, this rest? It is the background on which this appearance and every function rests.
Everything that is, points to the background on which it rests. There is no need to run from thoughts, to run from pleasure, or run from pain. Just see on what, in what, these forms and functions are appearing.
You and everything you see, touch, hear, and feel are in That. Every thought and feeling are in That. And That you are!
You are the Truth that has always been lurking in the background. How else would you see? How else would you know? You and everything else is dependent on the background. How did you fail to see that?
Truth is quiet, allowing, open, spacious, loving, and independent. It is aware. You are That! Enlightenment is but the recognition of That.
In the recognition of that, the seeker disappears. The one needing help disappears. And since what we are has always already been there, enlightenment is often described as a "non event." It is as ordinary as waking up in the morning.
The only thing we ever did was place our attention on everything appearing, and not noticing on what, in what, it all appeared. A big mistake, so obvious, one can only laugh, or cry, and wonder.
And then you are in the position of saying that it is so obvious. You say that to others. And they in turn, look at you as if you are teasing them, because it is not obvious to them. A fun game, is it not?
Probably not! The seeker who doesn't get it, may need to put in some effort. For, though the truth is that they "are that," they do not recognize that to be the case.
The paradox itself has enabled some to get it. For others, they seek something, or a teacher, that to them feels more helpful. Of course, they will need the help until they don't.
Some seekers would insist that their search for Truth isn't even their own, and they can do nothing to stop it. These are the lucky ones. They can't help but make the effort. They are pulled by their own future, like an addiction.
Wherever the true seeker looks, in every form, whether physical, or conceptual, the obvious is there. In every function, the obvious is there. Everything is pointing, and everything is resting in that.
Everything is resting in the obvious. Everything is standing in the obvious. And what is this obvious thing, this silence, this rest? It is the background on which this appearance and every function rests.
Everything that is, points to the background on which it rests. There is no need to run from thoughts, to run from pleasure, or run from pain. Just see on what, in what, these forms and functions are appearing.
You and everything you see, touch, hear, and feel are in That. Every thought and feeling are in That. And That you are!
You are the Truth that has always been lurking in the background. How else would you see? How else would you know? You and everything else is dependent on the background. How did you fail to see that?
Truth is quiet, allowing, open, spacious, loving, and independent. It is aware. You are That! Enlightenment is but the recognition of That.
In the recognition of that, the seeker disappears. The one needing help disappears. And since what we are has always already been there, enlightenment is often described as a "non event." It is as ordinary as waking up in the morning.
The only thing we ever did was place our attention on everything appearing, and not noticing on what, in what, it all appeared. A big mistake, so obvious, one can only laugh, or cry, and wonder.
And then you are in the position of saying that it is so obvious. You say that to others. And they in turn, look at you as if you are teasing them, because it is not obvious to them. A fun game, is it not?
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Awareness is Alive
Awareness is alive. It is ready for anything to appear. As soon as something appears, awareness becomes conscious of it, whether it be seen, heard, thought, or felt.
Everything one can be conscious of dies, yet awareness remains. So one can say that all appearances are dead. None will last. Awareness alone remains.
It is awareness that is life. Everything in the universe is but a step child appearing for a moment. If you are aware, you can never die, for all things, including your body, mind, thoughts and feelings appear in that.
Everything one can be conscious of dies, yet awareness remains. So one can say that all appearances are dead. None will last. Awareness alone remains.
It is awareness that is life. Everything in the universe is but a step child appearing for a moment. If you are aware, you can never die, for all things, including your body, mind, thoughts and feelings appear in that.